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icehog3
12-01-2010, 02:56 PM
New:

I think I might go see a movie.

The new Scooby Doo flick sounds pretty groovy,

Gophernut
12-01-2010, 02:59 PM
New:

I think I might go see a movie.

The new Scooby Doo flick sounds pretty groovy,

I best hit concessions cause I have the munchies,

Mr B
12-01-2010, 04:26 PM
New:

I think I might go see a movie.

The new Scooby Doo flick sounds pretty groovy,

I best hit concessions cause I have the munchies,


those theater seats always give my undies, the scrunchies

gorob23
12-01-2010, 09:05 PM
those theater seats always give my undies, the scrunchies

but that's really ok if you know how to enjoy and make the most of the bunchies :tu

Mr B
12-02-2010, 09:27 AM
New:

Tomorrow is Friday, I can hardly wait.

VTDragon
12-02-2010, 10:30 AM
New:

Tomorrow is Friday, I can hardly wait.
Hope for the weekend it doesn't precipitate

Gophernut
12-02-2010, 11:21 AM
New:

Tomorrow is Friday, I can hardly wait.

Hope for the weekend it doesn't precipitate

The weather guy says it will,

Mr B
12-02-2010, 11:35 AM
New:

Tomorrow is Friday, I can hardly wait.

Hope for the weekend it doesn't precipitate

The weather guy says it will,


but he's always been a Pil

Gophernut
12-02-2010, 11:40 AM
New:

Tomorrow is Friday, I can hardly wait.

Hope for the weekend it doesn't precipitate

The weather guy says it will,

but he's always been a Pil

So from my plans I wont deviate.

Gophernut
12-02-2010, 11:41 AM
NEW:

It's time for me to hit the slopes,

htown
12-02-2010, 11:48 AM
Aspen or Vail are my hopes,

mikethegoalie32
12-02-2010, 11:58 AM
Anywhere with snow is fine by me,

Gophernut
12-02-2010, 12:50 PM
Hit the jumps and I feel free,

VTDragon
12-02-2010, 01:03 PM
NEW:

It's time for me to hit the slopes,

Aspen or Vail are my hopes,

Anywhere with snow is fine by me,

Hit the jumps and I feel free,
So long as by a snow-bunny I get gropped

VTDragon
12-02-2010, 01:04 PM
new:

Hunting season is almost done

mikethegoalie32
12-02-2010, 02:02 PM
For killing animals is so much fun

Chainsaw13
12-02-2010, 02:43 PM
Hunting season is almost done

For killing animals is so much fun

Eating them is even better

icehog3
12-02-2010, 04:38 PM
new:

Hunting season is almost done

For killing animals is so much fun

Eating them is even better

Unless you're Eddie Vedder,

Mr B
12-02-2010, 04:40 PM
new:

Hunting season is almost done

For killing animals is so much fun

Eating them is even better

Unless you're Eddie Vedder,


who likes his veggie burger on a bun

Mr B
12-02-2010, 04:45 PM
New:

The Devils site, i must resist

Gophernut
12-02-2010, 05:53 PM
New:

The Devils site, i must resist


But still the bargains there persist,

TheTraveler
12-02-2010, 06:34 PM
The Devils site, i must resist

But still the bargains there persist,

Hide the bill from the wife

icehog3
12-02-2010, 06:37 PM
New:

The Devils site, i must resist

But still the bargains there persist,

Hide the bill from the wife

And hide the butcher knife,

TheTraveler
12-02-2010, 06:41 PM
The Devils site, i must resist

But still the bargains there persist,

Hide the bill from the wife

And hide the butcher knife,

Or your story on "Snapped" will exist.

TheTraveler
12-02-2010, 06:42 PM
NEW:

I once had a Pitt-Bull named Dooly

icehog3
12-02-2010, 06:47 PM
NEW:

I once had a Pitt-Bull named Dooly

Who often bathed in Patchouli,

Gophernut
12-02-2010, 07:58 PM
NEW:

I once had a Pitt-Bull named Dooly

Who often bathed in Patchouli,

I had to look up that word,

icehog3
12-03-2010, 01:22 AM
NEW:

I once had a Pitt-Bull named Dooly

Who often bathed in Patchouli,

I had to look up that word,

It's worn by hippies, I've heard,

Gophernut
12-03-2010, 07:48 AM
NEW:

I once had a Pitt-Bull named Dooly

Who often bathed in Patchouli,

I had to look up that word,

It's worn by hippies, I've heard,

Now he just sits there real coolly.

Gophernut
12-03-2010, 07:49 AM
NEW:

Sitting at work by myself,

Doctorossi
12-03-2010, 08:19 AM
where sausages rest on the shelf.

mikethegoalie32
12-03-2010, 08:25 AM
where sausages rest on the shelf.

waiting for the weekend to start,

icehog3
12-03-2010, 10:45 AM
NEW:

Sitting at work by myself,

where sausages rest on the shelf.

waiting for the weekend to start,

Trying hard not to shart,

Mr B
12-03-2010, 10:57 AM
NEW:

Sitting at work by myself,

where sausages rest on the shelf.

waiting for the weekend to start,

Trying hard not to shart,

wow, I just saw a Christmas Elf

Mr B
12-03-2010, 10:59 AM
New:


Stogie Bombs will drop from the air...

icehog3
12-03-2010, 11:04 AM
New:


Stogie Bombs will drop from the air...

Filled with syringes and cat hair,

mikethegoalie32
12-03-2010, 12:04 PM
Filled with syringes and cat hair,

Better hurry and light one up,

landhoney
12-03-2010, 12:35 PM
New:

Stogie Bombs will drop from the air...

Filled with syringes and cat hair,

Better hurry and light one up,

Then go fill up 'yer cup

Doctorossi
12-03-2010, 01:21 PM
Cohibos, for those with a pair!

Doctorossi
12-03-2010, 01:22 PM
New:

Life is too short to smoke crap.

mikethegoalie32
12-03-2010, 03:07 PM
New:

Life is too short to smoke crap.

cheap cigars may be a trap

landhoney
12-03-2010, 03:16 PM
New:

Life is too short to smoke crap.

cheap cigars may be a trap

They make look smooth and nice

Mr B
12-03-2010, 03:34 PM
New:

Life is too short to smoke crap.

cheap cigars may be a trap

They make look smooth and nice


but taste of Pickling Spice

icehog3
12-03-2010, 04:44 PM
New:

Life is too short to smoke crap.

cheap cigars may be a trap

They make look smooth and nice

but taste of Pickling Spice

and might give you a case of the Clap!

icehog3
12-03-2010, 04:44 PM
NEW:

A smoke is a reward after chores,

Mr B
12-03-2010, 05:14 PM
even when your mouth's filled with sores

icehog3
12-04-2010, 12:13 AM
NEW:

A smoke is a reward after chores,

even when your mouth's filled with sores

Add in chronic halitosis,

Gophernut
12-04-2010, 09:19 AM
NEW:

A smoke is a reward after chores,

even when your mouth's filled with sores

Add in chronic halitosis,

Sleeping alone is your prognosis,

icehog3
12-04-2010, 02:42 PM
NEW:

A smoke is a reward after chores,

even when your mouth's filled with sores

Add in chronic halitosis,

Sleeping alone is your prognosis,

Unless of course you consort with whores.

icehog3
12-04-2010, 02:42 PM
NEW:

Driving up north to Wisconsin,

gorob23
12-04-2010, 03:24 PM
NEW:

Driving up north to Wisconsin,

I recalled the old show "Along Came Bronson" :D

icehog3
12-04-2010, 03:32 PM
NEW:

Driving up north to Wisconsin,

I recalled the old show "Along Came Bronson" :D

It didn't star Charlie,

gorob23
12-05-2010, 03:32 PM
It didn't star Charlie,

but he rode his Harley and never liked to play in the snow :r



;s Rob

icehog3
12-05-2010, 03:57 PM
NEW:

Driving up north to Wisconsin,

I recalled the old show "Along Came Bronson" :D

It didn't star Charlie,

but he rode his Harley,
;s Rob

edited to fit the format, Rob! :r ;s

And was awfully proud of his johnson. :D

icehog3
12-05-2010, 03:58 PM
NEW:

I once had a brother named Zorro,

mikethegoalie32
12-06-2010, 07:34 AM
NEW:

I once had a brother named Zorro,

My wife he once asked to borrow,

landhoney
12-06-2010, 07:50 AM
NEW:

I once had a brother named Zorro,

My wife he once asked to borrow,

I told Zorro, Go ahead

mikethegoalie32
12-06-2010, 08:31 AM
I told Zorro, Go ahead

then found out he diddled her in my bed,

gorob23
12-06-2010, 09:08 AM
then found out he diddled her in my bed,

NEW:

I once had a brother named Zorro,

:sl

14holestogie
12-06-2010, 09:36 AM
NEW:

I once had a brother named Zorro,

My wife he once asked to borrow,

I told Zorro, Go ahead

then found out he diddled her in my bed,

My brother's a dick and my wife is a whorro.

14holestogie
12-06-2010, 09:38 AM
New:

A new work week has just begun

icehog3
12-06-2010, 09:47 AM
New:

A new work week has just begun

Makes me think about buying a gun,

Mr B
12-06-2010, 10:36 AM
New:

A new work week has just begun

Makes me think about buying a gun,


Was diagnosed with an S.T.D.

VTDragon
12-06-2010, 10:40 AM
New:

A new work week has just begun

Makes me think about buying a gun,

Was diagnosed with an S.T.D.
Gads, what did my sexatary do to me

icehog3
12-06-2010, 11:01 AM
New:

A new work week has just begun

Makes me think about buying a gun,

Was diagnosed with an S.T.D.

Gads, what did my sexatary do to me

All I wanted was some innocent fun!

icehog3
12-06-2010, 11:02 AM
NEW:

While sitting with the Queen having tea,

markem
12-06-2010, 11:08 AM
NEW:

While sitting with the Queen having tea,

I made a comment about Freddy Mercury

Mr B
12-06-2010, 11:24 AM
NEW:

While sitting with the Queen having tea,

I made a comment about Freddy Mercury


She said "dont worry he used a condom"

Gophernut
12-06-2010, 12:11 PM
NEW:

While sitting with the Queen having tea,

I made a comment about Freddy Mercury

She said "dont worry he used a condom"

And with these words of wisdom,

landhoney
12-06-2010, 12:35 PM
NEW:

While sitting with the Queen having tea,

I made a comment about Freddy Mercury

She said "dont worry he used a condom"

And with these words of wisdom,

I filled her 'right full of glee!

landhoney
12-06-2010, 12:37 PM
New:

I golf slighlty below par

VTDragon
12-06-2010, 12:41 PM
New:

I golf slightly below par
My eyesight is bad, I can't see too far

Mr B
12-06-2010, 12:45 PM
New:

I golf slighlty below par

My eyesight is bad, I can't see too far



My swing is like Happy Gilmore

mikethegoalie32
12-06-2010, 01:45 PM
New:

I golf slighlty below par

My eyesight is bad, I can't see too far

My swing is like Happy Gilmore

It is not very often that the crowd will roar,

Gophernut
12-06-2010, 02:10 PM
New:

I golf slighlty below par

My eyesight is bad, I can't see too far

My swing is like Happy Gilmore

It is not very often that the crowd will roar,

Usually when they do, I am in the bar.

Gophernut
12-06-2010, 02:12 PM
NEW:

I work full time but I'm broke,

landhoney
12-06-2010, 02:40 PM
NEW:

I work full time but I'm broke,

My money all goes up in smoke

Mr B
12-06-2010, 03:49 PM
NEW:

I work full time but I'm broke,

My money all goes up in smoke

a robusto here, a toro there.

mikethegoalie32
12-07-2010, 07:41 AM
or my wife's goddamn hair,

landhoney
12-07-2010, 08:13 AM
NEW:

I work full time but I'm broke,

My money all goes up in smoke

a robusto here, a toro there.

or my wife's goddamn hair,

But at least they all supply me a toke!

landhoney
12-07-2010, 08:15 AM
New:

I know a young lass from *Alsace






*(rhymes ie. pace, race, place)

mikethegoalie32
12-07-2010, 08:35 AM
One cannot stomach the look of her face,

Doctorossi
12-07-2010, 08:40 AM
You can run to avoid her,

mikethegoalie32
12-07-2010, 09:11 AM
and everyone will concur,

VTDragon
12-07-2010, 09:16 AM
New:

I know a young lass from *Alsace

*(rhymes ie. pace, race, place)

One cannot stomach the look of her face,

You can run to avoid her,
And her cheeks all covered with fur

landhoney
12-07-2010, 09:18 AM
New:

I know a young lass from *Alsace

One cannot stomach the look of her face,

You can run to avoid her,

But she's hardly a sucker

landhoney
12-07-2010, 09:20 AM
and everyone will concur,

And her cheeks all covered with fur

But she's hardly a sucker

Whoever wants to finish it should choose their favorite, and finish this one!:r

Mr B
12-07-2010, 09:41 AM
Alrighty then, lets move around this train wreck :r


New:

We're one day away from Hump-Day

icehog3
12-07-2010, 10:11 AM
Alrighty then, lets move around this train wreck :r


New:

We're one day away from Hump-Day

W.C. Fields said "I may just jump Mae",

landhoney
12-07-2010, 10:13 AM
We're one day away from Hump-Day

W.C. Fields said "I may just jump Mae",

She's got curves in all the right places

Doctorossi
12-07-2010, 10:24 AM
and it's cheaper than betting the races.

icehog3
12-07-2010, 10:26 AM
Alrighty then, lets move around this train wreck :r


New:

We're one day away from Hump-Day

W.C. Fields said "I may just jump Mae",

She's got curves in all the right places

and it's cheaper than betting the races.

Now I just have to go and dump Fay!

icehog3
12-07-2010, 10:27 AM
NEW:

I got through college eating Ramen noodles,

Mr B
12-07-2010, 10:36 AM
NEW:

I got through college eating Ramen noodles,

and cleaning up after the neighbors poodles

icehog3
12-07-2010, 10:44 AM
NEW:

I got through college eating Ramen noodles,

and cleaning up after the neighbors poodles

Eating crap and picking up sh!t,

mikethegoalie32
12-07-2010, 10:49 AM
sometimes I just want to throw a fit

Mr B
12-07-2010, 11:42 AM
NEW:

I got through college eating Ramen noodles,

and cleaning up after the neighbors poodles

Eating crap and picking up sh!t,

sometimes I just want to throw a fit

cuz in the piles, there's oodles and ooldles

Mr B
12-07-2010, 11:43 AM
New:

Strolling thru the park, smoking my favoirte stick.

Doctorossi
12-07-2010, 11:57 AM
It's attractive and long and a little bit thick.

mikethegoalie32
12-07-2010, 12:04 PM
Sometimes its long, sometimes its short,

Gophernut
12-07-2010, 12:39 PM
New:

Strolling thru the park, smoking my favoirte stick.

It's attractive and long and a little bit thick.

Sometimes its long, sometimes its short,

As I took a puff, I heard an old lady retort,

landhoney
12-07-2010, 12:43 PM
New:

Strolling thru the park, smoking my favoirte stick.

It's attractive and long and a little bit thick.

Sometimes its long, sometimes its short,

As I took a puff, I heard an old lady retort,

You're lucky it wasn't snatched by a Government hick!

landhoney
12-07-2010, 12:46 PM
New:

Some say political limericks abound

Doctorossi
12-07-2010, 12:48 PM
but all I can hear is a great sucking sound.

Gophernut
12-07-2010, 12:48 PM
It takes all of my patience,

VTDragon
12-07-2010, 12:57 PM
New:

Some say political limericks abound

but all I can hear is a great sucking sound.

It takes all of my patience,
Trying to give some guidence

Gophernut
12-07-2010, 01:02 PM
New:

Some say political limericks abound

but all I can hear is a great sucking sound.

It takes all of my patience,

Trying to give some guidence

Now only a locked thread is found.

Gophernut
12-07-2010, 01:03 PM
NEW:

I think I should start my x-mas shopping,

Sled Dog
12-07-2010, 01:08 PM
NEW:

I think I should start my x-mas shopping,

She gets a swiffer to help out with mopping

mikethegoalie32
12-07-2010, 01:14 PM
She gets a swiffer to help out with mopping

followed by something for the kitchen,

Gophernut
12-07-2010, 01:18 PM
NEW:

I think I should start my x-mas shopping,

She gets a swiffer to help out with mopping

followed by something for the kitchen,

But I doubt she'll stop *****in,

Doctorossi
12-07-2010, 02:07 PM
'Til I stop all the endless bar-hopping.

Doctorossi
12-07-2010, 02:08 PM
New:

The ocean is ripe with strange veggies.

landhoney
12-07-2010, 02:35 PM
New:

The ocean is ripe with strange veggies.

And fish that like to give wedgies

BloodSpite
12-07-2010, 05:35 PM
And fish that like to give wedgies

But there is no substitute

Mr B
12-07-2010, 05:57 PM
New:

The ocean is ripe with strange veggies.

And fish that like to give wedgies

But there is no substitute


for catching a boot

markem
12-07-2010, 06:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctorossi http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1085455#post1085455)
New:

The ocean is ripe with strange veggies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by landhoney http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1085480#post1085480)
And fish that like to give wedgies

Quote:
Originally Posted by BloodSpite http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1085686#post1085686)
But there is no substitute

for catching a boot

From a scow that likes to go Toot! Toot!


New:

MC Hammer had a dinner party

BloodSpite
12-07-2010, 06:52 PM
New:

MC Hammer had a dinner party

It got so bad the police called for arty

icehog3
12-07-2010, 11:27 PM
MC went Toot Toot,

Gophernut
12-08-2010, 09:02 AM
Quote:

New:

MC Hammer had a dinner party

It got so bad the police called for arty

MC went Toot Toot,

He gave all his guests the boot,

mikethegoalie32
12-08-2010, 09:42 AM
He gave all his guests the boot,

Arty's next party invitation wasn't so tardy.

mikethegoalie32
12-08-2010, 09:45 AM
New:
My wife came home with bad news,

Mr B
12-08-2010, 09:52 AM
New:
My wife came home with bad news,



she said "at the herf, they allow no booze"

mikethegoalie32
12-08-2010, 10:14 AM
she said "at the herf, they allow no booze"

when I heard those words my jaw did drop,

icehog3
12-08-2010, 10:28 AM
New:
My wife came home with bad news,

she said "at the herf, they allow no booze"

when I heard those words my jaw did drop,

"Nothing at the herf but milk and pop?",

VTDragon
12-08-2010, 10:38 AM
New:
My wife came home with bad news,

she said "at the herf, they allow no booze"

when I heard those words my jaw did drop,

"Nothing at the herf but milk and pop?",
Now I've got a real case of Holiday Blues

VTDragon
12-08-2010, 10:39 AM
New:
Patriots shot down the high flying Jets

icehog3
12-08-2010, 10:40 AM
New:
Patriots shot down the high flying Jets

They might have gotten a better game from the Mets,

VTDragon
12-08-2010, 10:44 AM
New:
Patriots shot down the high flying Jets

They might have gotten a better game from the Mets,
Next up are the Big Bad Chicago Bears

icehog3
12-08-2010, 10:50 AM
New:
Patriots shot down the high flying Jets

They might have gotten a better game from the Mets,

Next up are the Big Bad Chicago Bears

See which dress Cutler wears,

VTDragon
12-08-2010, 11:00 AM
New:
Patriots shot down the high flying Jets

They might have gotten a better game from the Mets,

Next up are the Big Bad Chicago Bears

See which dress Cutler wears,
Maybe he'll look like a Christmas Rockette

VTDragon
12-08-2010, 11:01 AM
New:

It's getting too cold to smoke outside

Mr B
12-08-2010, 11:11 AM
New:

It's getting too cold to smoke outside

and the public smoking laws we must abide

Gophernut
12-08-2010, 11:38 AM
New:

It's getting too cold to smoke outside

and the public smoking laws we must abide

I ask my wife about a garage heater,

icehog3
12-08-2010, 11:39 AM
New:

It's getting too cold to smoke outside

and the public smoking laws we must abide

I ask my wife about a garage heater,

And I'm a basement smoking cheater,

markem
12-08-2010, 12:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTDragon http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1086477#post1086477)
New:

It's getting too cold to smoke outside

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr B http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1086487#post1086487)
and the public smoking laws we must abide

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gophernut http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1086527#post1086527)
I ask my wife about a garage heater,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Icehog3
And I'm a basement smoking cheater,


Stupid ash - why can't I be a neater cheater?


New:

Of all the things that are grand in life

icehog3
12-08-2010, 02:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTDragon http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1086477#post1086477)
New:

It's getting too cold to smoke outside

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr B http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1086487#post1086487)
and the public smoking laws we must abide

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gophernut http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1086527#post1086527)
I ask my wife about a garage heater,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Icehog3
And I'm a basement smoking cheater,


Stupid ash - why can't I be a neater cheater?




Mark....Line #5 needs to rhyme with lines #1 and #2 in a limerick. :r

New:

Of all the things that are grand in life

One of them is not my ex-wife,

14holestogie
12-08-2010, 03:03 PM
Of all the things that are grand in life


One of them is not my ex-wife,


While we dated, we scootered

icehog3
12-08-2010, 03:09 PM
New:

Of all the things that are grand in life

One of them is not my ex-wife,

While we dated, we scootered

But I soon was de-cootered,

Mr B
12-08-2010, 03:38 PM
New:

Of all the things that are grand in life

Mark....Line #5 needs to rhyme with lines #1 and #2 in a limerick. :r



One of them is not my ex-wife,

While we dated, we scootered

But I soon was de-cootered,

I just hope they used a sterilized knife!!

Mr B
12-08-2010, 03:39 PM
New:

While driving to the local B&M

icehog3
12-08-2010, 03:43 PM
New:

While driving to the local B&M

I heard the new song by Eminem,

Mr B
12-08-2010, 04:33 PM
New:

While driving to the local B&M

I heard the new song by Eminem,


He's not a 1 hit wonder like Vanilla Ice

icehog3
12-09-2010, 12:51 AM
New:

While driving to the local B&M

I heard the new song by Eminem,

He's not a 1 hit wonder like Vanilla Ice

He's got hits like casinos got dice,

14holestogie
12-09-2010, 03:15 AM
While driving to the local B&M

I heard the new song by Eminem,

He's not a 1 hit wonder like Vanilla Ice

He's got hits like casinos got dice,

I rapped along to break up phlegm

14holestogie
12-09-2010, 03:17 AM
New:

My wish for all this Christmas season

BloodSpite
12-09-2010, 08:58 AM
New:

My wish for all this Christmas season

Is for someone to just give me a reason

mikethegoalie32
12-09-2010, 09:28 AM
Is for someone to just give me a reason

to go out and spend all my money,

landhoney
12-09-2010, 09:48 AM
New:

My wish for all this Christmas season

Is for someone to just give me a reason

to go out and spend all my money,

On some fine little holiday honey

icehog3
12-09-2010, 09:53 AM
New:

My wish for all this Christmas season

Is for someone to just give me a reason

to go out and spend all my money,

On some fine little holiday honey

And not spend the holidays weezin'.

icehog3
12-09-2010, 09:53 AM
NEW:

I like chili and I like cheese,

Mr B
12-09-2010, 09:55 AM
NEW:

I like chili and I like cheese,


pour hot Velveeta on my nipples please

icehog3
12-09-2010, 10:04 AM
NEW:

I like chili and I like cheese,

pour hot Velveeta on my nipples please

I like a little sting,

Mr B
12-09-2010, 10:42 AM
NEW:

I like chili and I like cheese,

pour hot Velveeta on my nipples please

I like a little sting,

on my Janet Jackson Bling

VTDragon
12-09-2010, 12:29 PM
NEW:

I like chili and I like cheese,

pour hot Velveeta on my nipples please

I like a little sting,

on my Janet Jackson Bling
Just don't let my tender parts freeze

VTDragon
12-09-2010, 12:31 PM
new:
Saw a man running naked in the snow

landhoney
12-09-2010, 12:51 PM
Saw a man running naked in the snow

I asked where he was intending to go

markem
12-09-2010, 12:54 PM
new:
Saw a man running naked in the snow

I asked where he was intending to go

and would he be writing in the snow

landhoney
12-09-2010, 01:10 PM
and would he be writing in the snow

The limerick is:

A
A
B
B
A

icehog3
12-09-2010, 01:28 PM
new:
Saw a man running naked in the snow

I asked where he was intending to go

He said, "I'm going to France",

The limerick is:

A
A
B
B
A

Mark is on a learning curve with the whole limerick deal. ;) :r

landhoney
12-09-2010, 01:41 PM
new:
Saw a man running naked in the snow

I asked where he was intending to go

He said, "I'm going to France",


And then did a silly little dance

Mr B
12-09-2010, 03:45 PM
new:
Saw a man running naked in the snow

I asked where he was intending to go

He said, "I'm going to France"

And then did a silly little dance

and said "my balls are cold dont ya know"

Mr B
12-09-2010, 03:46 PM
New:

I was attempting to cross the border.

14holestogie
12-09-2010, 03:48 PM
I was attempting to cross the border.

When I stumbled upon Vin the hoarder

icehog3
12-09-2010, 04:19 PM
New:

I was attempting to cross the border.

When I stumbled upon Vin the hoarder

He had Montes galore,

Mr B
12-09-2010, 05:05 PM
New:

I was attempting to cross the border.

When I stumbled upon Vin the hoarder

He had Montes galore,


from the "Swiss Chocolate Store"

Gophernut
12-09-2010, 05:33 PM
New:

I was attempting to cross the border.

When I stumbled upon Vin the hoarder

He had Montes galore,

from the "Swiss Chocolate Store"

With the exchange rate they were only a quarter!

Gophernut
12-09-2010, 05:34 PM
New:

My Dr says I should cut back,

Mr B
12-09-2010, 05:58 PM
New:

My Dr says I should cut back,

I told him he doesn't know Jack!

icehog3
12-09-2010, 06:50 PM
New:

My Dr says I should cut back,

I told him he doesn't know Jack!

I'll smoke all I want,

BloodSpite
12-10-2010, 09:24 AM
I'll smoke all I want,

My stogies I'll flaunt

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 09:33 AM
but he said, "Cigars?! I meant crack!"

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 09:34 AM
New:

It sucks when you go Christmas shopping,

Mr B
12-10-2010, 09:48 AM
New:

It sucks when you go Christmas shopping,


Down the chimney, presents should be dropping.

icehog3
12-10-2010, 10:07 AM
New:

It sucks when you go Christmas shopping,

Down the chimney, presents should be dropping.

The crowds are immesnse,

Gophernut
12-10-2010, 10:25 AM
New:

It sucks when you go Christmas shopping,

Down the chimney, presents should be dropping.

The crowds are immesnse,

Sometimes it get intense,

icehog3
12-10-2010, 10:38 AM
New:

It sucks when you go Christmas shopping,

Down the chimney, presents should be dropping.

The crowds are immesnse,

Sometimes it get intense,

In my head, blood vessels are popping.

icehog3
12-10-2010, 10:39 AM
NEW:

My dog says it's too cold to go poop,

VTDragon
12-10-2010, 10:41 AM
New:

It sucks when you go Christmas shopping,

Down the chimney, presents should be dropping.

The crowds are immesnse,

Sometimes it get intense,
But of the Christmas Season there is no topping

VTDragon
12-10-2010, 10:42 AM
New:

The thermometer is in single digits

icehog3
12-10-2010, 10:44 AM
New:

The thermometer is in single digits

Even the snowman, he fidgets,

VTDragon
12-10-2010, 10:52 AM
New:

The thermometer is in single digits

Even the snowman, he fidgets,
Trying to think of new ways to stay warm

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 11:03 AM
like a flea-bitten stray in a storm.

Mr B
12-10-2010, 11:07 AM
New:

The thermometer is in single digits

Even the snowman, he fidgets,

Trying to think of new ways to stay warm

like a flea-bitten stray in a storm.

cuz fire melts them down to midgets

Mr B
12-10-2010, 11:08 AM
New one for Tom ;) :

My dog say's it's too cold to go poop.

mikethegoalie32
12-10-2010, 11:31 AM
New one for Tom ;) :

My dog say's it's too cold to go poop.

I instruct him its warmer under the stoop,

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 11:56 AM
He barks, "My butt itches."

BloodSpite
12-10-2010, 01:02 PM
"And I'm being stalked by several wenches!"

14holestogie
12-10-2010, 01:02 PM
New one for Tom ;) :

My dog say's it's too cold to go poop.

I instruct him its warmer under the stoop,

He barks, "My butt itches."

Then runs off to sniff bit*hes

mikethegoalie32
12-10-2010, 01:09 PM
"And I'm being stalked by several wenches!"

and booked a flight to Cuba to recoup.

mikethegoalie32
12-10-2010, 01:09 PM
New:
Friday is the greatest day,

icehog3
12-10-2010, 01:29 PM
New:
Friday is the greatest day,

After work, I get to play,

Mr B
12-10-2010, 01:31 PM
New:
Friday is the greatest day,

After work, I get to play,

another weekend of football and hockey

icehog3
12-10-2010, 01:35 PM
New:
Friday is the greatest day,

After work, I get to play,

another weekend of football and hockey

Accompanied by cigars, beer and sake,

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 01:39 PM
so blackness can wash it away.

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 01:40 PM
New:

I need a nice double corona.

landhoney
12-10-2010, 02:19 PM
New:

I need a nice double corona.

And somewhere to stick my bona'




Mods <Tom> please delete if too off color :r

Doctorossi
12-10-2010, 02:21 PM
Mods <Tom> please delete if too off color :r

What's off-color about a marching band?

landhoney
12-10-2010, 02:33 PM
What's off-color about a marching band?

:r

Just make with the next line of the limerick ya' smartguy. ;)

BloodSpite
12-10-2010, 02:52 PM
And somewhere to stick my bona'



If Army beats Navy

icehog3
12-10-2010, 03:05 PM
New:

I need a nice double corona.

And somewhere to stick my bona'





If Army beats Navy

I'll douse myself in gravy,

Mr B
12-11-2010, 10:53 AM
New:

I need a nice double corona.

And somewhere to stick my bona'




Mods <Tom> please delete if too off color :r

If Army beats Navy

I'll douse myself in gravy,

and roll a big one and go get stona'

icehog3
12-11-2010, 02:26 PM
NEW:

Mr. B forgot the new rhyme,

Mr B
12-11-2010, 07:35 PM
NEW:

Mr. B forgot the new rhyme,


It happens from time to time.

icehog3
12-11-2010, 08:15 PM
NEW:

Mr. B forgot the new rhyme,

It happens from time to time.

So all is forgiven,

landhoney
12-13-2010, 09:21 AM
NEW:

Mr. B forgot the new rhyme,

It happens from time to time.

So all is forgiven,

But I may be driven

Gophernut
12-13-2010, 09:57 AM
NEW:

Mr. B forgot the new rhyme,

It happens from time to time.

So all is forgiven,

But I may be driven

To force him to watch Icehog mime.

Gophernut
12-13-2010, 09:58 AM
The Metrodome needs a new roof,

icehog3
12-13-2010, 10:35 AM
The Metrodome needs a new roof,

The old one was built by a goof,

Mr B
12-13-2010, 11:26 AM
The Metrodome needs a new roof,

The old one was built by a goof,


Detriot said "come on down"

Doctorossi
12-13-2010, 11:44 AM
"Naught but pussies... er... lions in this town."

Mr B
12-13-2010, 11:56 AM
The Metrodome needs a new roof,

The old one was built by a goof,

Detriot said "come on down"

"Naught but pussies... er... lions in this town."


Them and Carolina remain aloof

Mr B
12-13-2010, 11:57 AM
New:

I still need to get a tree

Doctorossi
12-13-2010, 12:04 PM
before the "holiday spirit" kills me.

landhoney
12-13-2010, 12:07 PM
New:

I still need to get a tree

before the "holiday spirit" kills me.

I've looked high and low

Gophernut
12-13-2010, 12:08 PM
New:

I still need to get a tree

before the "holiday spirit" kills me.

I've looked high and low

I've treked through the snow,

Mr B
12-13-2010, 12:16 PM
New:

I still need to get a tree

before the "holiday spirit" kills me.

I've looked high and low

I've treked through the snow,


but I cant afford all this Holiday glee

Mr B
12-13-2010, 12:17 PM
New:

The gift of giving is where its at.

Chainsaw13
12-13-2010, 01:01 PM
Here, take my neighbors cat.

Mr B
12-13-2010, 01:23 PM
New:

The gift of giving is where its at.

Here, take my neighbors cat.

a lump of coal for you, and 3 for me.

mikethegoalie32
12-13-2010, 01:26 PM
on your sofa that cat will pee

icehog3
12-13-2010, 01:35 PM
New:

The gift of giving is where its at.

Here, take my neighbors cat.

a lump of coal for you, and 3 for me.

on your sofa that cat will pee

But at least you didn't gift me a Tat!

icehog3
12-13-2010, 01:35 PM
NEW:

WTB Boris and Drac,

Gophernut
12-13-2010, 02:09 PM
NEW:

WTB Boris and Drac,

Or I will trade you my Gurkhas back,

icehog3
12-13-2010, 02:14 PM
NEW:

WTB Boris and Drac,

Or I will trade you my Gurkhas back,

Or gift you a Cremosa,

Gophernut
12-13-2010, 02:23 PM
NEW:

WTB Boris and Drac,

Or I will trade you my Gurkhas back,

Or gift you a Cremosa,

Or like the pirate Barbossa,

landhoney
12-13-2010, 03:11 PM
NEW:

WTB Boris and Drac,

Or I will trade you my Gurkhas back,

Or gift you a Cremosa,

Or like the pirate Barbossa,

Rob you and then have a snack

landhoney
12-13-2010, 03:12 PM
New:

Its cold for this Florida boy

VTDragon
12-13-2010, 03:23 PM
New:

Its cold for this Florida boy
Shivering for Christmas, oh what a joy

Mr B
12-13-2010, 03:25 PM
New:

Its cold for this Florida boy

Shivering for Christmas, oh what a joy



my sunblock is packed away

Gophernut
12-13-2010, 03:37 PM
New:

Its cold for this Florida boy

Shivering for Christmas, oh what a joy

my sunblock is packed away

I won't be swimming in the bay,

icehog3
12-13-2010, 03:49 PM
New:

Its cold for this Florida boy

Shivering for Christmas, oh what a joy

my sunblock is packed away

I won't be swimming in the bay,

"Global Warming" is nothing but a ploy.

icehog3
12-13-2010, 03:50 PM
NEW:

Less than two months until the Super Bowl,

Mr B
12-13-2010, 04:42 PM
NEW:

Less than two months until the Super Bowl,

Girls will be dancing on the pole

VTDragon
12-13-2010, 09:20 PM
NEW:

Less than two months until the Super Bowl,

Girls will be dancing on the pole
New England will be rooting for their Pats

icehog3
12-14-2010, 12:42 AM
NEW:

Less than two months until the Super Bowl,

Girls will be dancing on the pole

New England will be rooting for their Pats

Bears will be on the golf course, smoking Tats,

Gophernut
12-14-2010, 08:56 AM
NEW:

Less than two months until the Super Bowl,

Girls will be dancing on the pole

New England will be rooting for their Pats

Bears will be on the golf course, smoking Tats,

For the Lombardi trophy some will sell their soul.

Gophernut
12-14-2010, 08:57 AM
New:

No work, I want to play,

VTDragon
12-14-2010, 09:13 AM
New:

No work, I want to play,
I'm waiting for the guy in the big flying sleigh

Doctorossi
12-14-2010, 09:34 AM
With a golden Nintendo,

Mr B
12-14-2010, 10:13 AM
New:

No work, I want to play,

I'm waiting for the guy in the big flying sleigh

With a golden Nintendo,


and a nifty garden hoe

mikethegoalie32
12-14-2010, 01:46 PM
I will kidnap Rudolph so he has to stay.

mikethegoalie32
12-14-2010, 01:46 PM
Tuesday, Tuesday, I am oh so bored,

Gophernut
12-14-2010, 01:48 PM
Tuesday, Tuesday, I am oh so bored,

Work seems like being in a mental ward,

VTDragon
12-14-2010, 02:00 PM
Tuesday, Tuesday, I am oh so bored,

Work seems like being in a mental ward,
With all the smoke police, I can't even light up

icehog3
12-14-2010, 03:43 PM
Tuesday, Tuesday, I am oh so bored,

Work seems like being in a mental ward,

With all the smoke police, I can't even light up

Need a little nip in my coffee cup,

Gophernut
12-14-2010, 05:26 PM
Tuesday, Tuesday, I am oh so bored,

Work seems like being in a mental ward,

With all the smoke police, I can't even light up

Need a little nip in my coffee cup,

Cause I think I'm going out of my gourd!

Gophernut
12-14-2010, 05:27 PM
New:

Sometimes I don't understand my wife,

icehog3
12-14-2010, 05:31 PM
New:

Sometimes I don't understand my wife,

She threatened me with a knife,

Mr B
12-14-2010, 05:33 PM
All I asked for was a threesome