Limerick Thread!

[GolfNut]

I saw this on a razor forum and thought it would be a fun thing for here. I'll start it off. Everyone add a line to it (hopefully folks here can rhyme LOL). If you finish off the limerick, you get to start the next one! Keep it clean so we don't break any rules!


There was a young fellow named Maisey....

[ninjavanish]

Who Married a young girl named Daisy?

[The Poet]

She loved him, or not

[Kreth]

And turned tricks for pot...
Posted via Mobile Device

[The Poet]

Which may be why she was so hazy.

[The Poet]

Next:

I once smoked a stogie so fat

[Subvet642]

It scorched whole front of my hat,

[icehog3]

So I then bought a beanie,

[The Poet]

But looked like a wienie

[Subvet642]

Now I won't burn my hat with a Tat.

[GolfNut]

OK, since Darren didn't post a new start:

A stogie is good for a fellow...

[Kreth]

Edit: nevermind

[Mr B]

so long as its smooth and mellow.

[Kreth]

Maduros taste fine...
Posted via Mobile Device

[GolfNut]

with a nice glass of wine...

[icehog3]

Or even with a bowl of Jello.

[GolfNut]

While walking the streets of Van Nuys.......


"Remember, if you finish the limerick, start up a new one. :tu

[The Poet]

A strange sight appeared to my eyes.

[Doctorossi]

A celeb from the valley,

[The Poet]

Buns up in an alley

[icehog3]

And I thought to myself "That ain't wise".

[icehog3]

One dark night in New York,

[ninjavanish]

I got a Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell, but no Spork...

[SmokeyJoe]

So I had to make do,

[ninjavanish]

I found some q-tips and hot glue...

[SmokeyJoe]

Now my tail feels like its plugged with a cork! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

When the puck finally drops on the ice...

[ninjavanish]

Sure as a puck, it is NICE!...

[icehog3]

The Hawks will be flying,

[Mr B]

The Sharks wont be dying,

[ninjavanish]

And after the game we can all get flied lice.

[ninjavanish]

Ok.. I'll start one... I think this is right... right?


There once was a man from Nantucket...

[Doctorossi]

Never once lit his 'gar, but did suck it.

[holli4pirating]

His stick got all soggy

[icehog3]

And made him quite groggy,

[SmokeyJoe]

So had no choice but to chuck it! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

As I looked out my window one day...

[MajorCaptSilly]

I caught a glimpse of my hair all gray

MCS

[SUOrangeGuy]

I thought I might dye it.

[Doctorossi]

Every week, 'til I buy it.

[14holestogie]

It may help get a roll in the hay.

New one:

The voice in my head said to me

[CasaDooley]

I shouldn't smoke up in a tree

[icehog3]

Then my limb, it did break,

[Doctorossi]

and the voice yelled, "Awake!"

[icehog3]

It had all been a dream, don't you see!

[icehog3]

Walking the street with my poodle,

[14holestogie]

When a Great Dane he tried to kanoodle

[SmokeyJoe]

He zigged when she zagged,

[14holestogie]

So the tail went untagged

[SmokeyJoe]

Thus he lost his kit and kaboodle. :D

[SmokeyJoe]

I headed off to the kitchen...

[SmokeyJoe]

For a little snack I was itchin'...

[SmokeyJoe]

(wow... didn't mean to kill the thread ;s )

Looked for a treat

[SmokeyJoe]

Found nothin' to eat

[SmokeyJoe]

So I went back to bed just-a-*****in'!

[SmokeyJoe]

(I'll try something a little simpler...)

There once was a little old lady...

[icehog3]

Who swooned for a young man from Haiti...

[Doctorossi]

She left the DR,

[14holestogie]

But didn't get far

[14holestogie]

Her boat sank and she's now shark bait-y

[14holestogie]

I pondered once for quite some time

[Mr B]

In a thread where I needed to rhyme.

[Doctorossi]

The years passed me by,

[icehog3]

So I started to cry,

[Mr B]

then I lit up a tasty Sublime.

[Mr B]

New one.

Off in the distance, a cloud of smoke.

[icehog3]

Reminded me of my boss, who's a stroke,

[SmokeyJoe]

The guy's a real jerk

[BluesGuy]

With one to many quirks

[SmokeyJoe]

The dude's "wheel" is missing a few spokes! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

I started my day quite chipper...

[GolfNut]

my clothes made me look even hipper

[GolfNut]

I strut into work...

[GolfNut]

they say "look at that jerk"

[GolfNut]

seems I didn't change out of my slippers! :(

[GolfNut]

While laying awake in bed...

[icehog3]

I had a randy thought in my head,

[Doctorossi]

My wife said, "Forget it."

[Mr B]

when I asked "can I hit it"

[icehog3]

And she replied, "Try and you're dead".

[icehog3]

Packing my gear for the rink,

[Doctorossi]

is a chore, 'cause my helmet is pink.

[14holestogie]

all the other guys snicker...

[icehog3]

But my fists are much quicker,

[SmokeyJoe]

And I fight even better than I drink! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

There once was an Officer Brown...

[Wolfgang]

Pulled me over dressed as a clown.....

[VTDragon]

Unless he let me see ...

[icehog3]

His little wee-wee,

[Gophernut]

I would surely be taken downtown.

New one:\

As I sit here sick of my job,

[Lear31MX]

thinking my boss is a knob

[icehog3]

I logged into Google,

[Mr B]

and found cigars make me "not frugal"

[SmokeyJoe]

and lamenting, "what bank could I rob?" :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

The Asylum is the best forum...

[Mr B]

loaded with knowledge and decorum

[icehog3]

The ToE is quite loony,

[Mr B]

the padded cells are roomy

[icehog3]

And when you ask for a beer, they just pour 'em.

[icehog3]

My cigar was burning quite hot,

[Gophernut]

My fingers got a red spot,

[icehog3]

But I soon realized,

[Gophernut]

as the ash fell on my thighs,

[icehog3]

My cigar had been filled up with pot!

[icehog3]

My dog took to chasing a squirrel,

[VTDragon]

Normally, with this, I have no quarrel

[rizzle]

But in the middle of the tree

[SmokeyJoe]

A limb unexpectedly fell on ME!

[Gophernut]

and gave my head quite a twirl.

[Gophernut]

The water in my cup just rippled,

[Doctorossi]

Is it a T-Rex or have I just tippled?

[icehog3]

So I turned to my friend,

[SmokeyJoe]

Expecting to meet our end...

[icehog3]

My expectations of doom had just tripled.

[icehog3]

Whilst eating my peanut butter and cheese,

[GolfNut]

I let out a God awful sneeze...

[SmokeyJoe]

I splattered my screen...

[icehog3]

with yellow and green,

[SmokeyJoe]

Could you hand me a napkin, PLEASE?! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

My car needed a change of oil...

[icehog3]

As the old stuff had started to boil,

[Mr B]

My hands and shirt got all dirty

[14holestogie]

Wife came out and got flirty

[Mr B]

and we did it, there on the topsoil

[Mr B]

New:

I was told about fine cigars

[GolfNut]

while shopping one day for cars

[GolfNut]

it was rolled on the thigh

[icehog3]

Of a sweaty Irish guy,

[SmokeyJoe]

Now you know why I frequent Belfast's bars! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

Your mother just called on the phone...

[icehog3]

To tell you about the sweater she had sewn,

[Wolfgang]

She asked about assless chapps and nipple clamps...

[icehog3]

And why Woflgang has menstrual cramps,

[Wolfgang]

:sw :r

Next time ill think before answering the the phone.




new one


I once met this girl in a bar.......

[icehog3]

Who looked really hot from afar,

[Wolfgang]

I realized ive had too much beer and shouldnt go near

[icehog3]

Because up close her head was shaped like a jar!

[icehog3]

NEW:

Playing a nice game of hopscotch,

[SmokeyJoe]

My opponent tried to raise it a notch...

[kugie]

And thinking he was slick

[SmokeyJoe]

He attempted a foolhardy trick...

[Brutus2600]

and severely that trick he did botch

[Brutus2600]

I can't wait for the end of the week...

[Doctorossi]

when the wine that I'm aging will peak.

[kugie]

with cork or with bung

[Mr B]

it will tantalize my tongue

[icehog3]

And cause all my tastebuds to freak!

[icehog3]

I think of the Asylum as home,

[Doctorossi]

though, at times, my grey cells tend to roam.

[Brutus2600]

I'll post random banter,

[rizzle]

Pour wine from the decanter

[icehog3]

and make love to the little garden gnome.

[icehog3]

Once, while taking a walk,

[SmokeyJoe]

I came upon a frog who could talk!

[icehog3]

He said "Howdy do",

[Wolfgang]

pass me the booze

[SmokeyJoe]

in a voice like Peter Falk. :D

[SmokeyJoe]

I had a dream about Halle Berry...

[Doctorossi]

You might guess that it couldn't be scary.

[SmokeyJoe]

We were walking together...

[Brutus2600]

Two birds of a feather...

[Doctorossi]

When she told me, "I'm ready to marry!"

[Doctorossi]

I knew an old sailor from Portsmouth,

[SmokeyJoe]

who wished for a lass to cavort with

[Brutus2600]

There was one on the dock,

[GolfNut]

(too easy....pass)

[SmokeyJoe]

as homely as a rock...

[RichardW]

Time out !

:r :r :r

You guys rock!

Time in!

[SmokeyJoe]

To lift her, he'd need a forklift! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

With the Asylum's 2-year Anniversary near...

[Brutus2600]

Mailboxes have something to fear!


(p.s. I've lol'd in this thread a lot...this is great!)

[Riff Raff]

For its all bombs away

[Brutus2600]

And your pleas have no sway

[SmokeyJoe]

With ring-leaders like Dave, Kelly, Peter, Tom, and Týr!

(Apologies to the rest of the Team of Eleven... y'all are equally feared!) :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

I'm up late and not ready for sleep...

[Doctorossi]

to the kitchen, I think I might creep.

[Brutus2600]

Grabbed a beer and a sandwhich...

[icehog3]

And with plenty of bandwidth,

[Doctorossi]

had refueled my next logical leap.

[Doctorossi]

I was winning a race at Le Mans,

[Mugen910]

I was winning a race at Le Mans,

being chased by a dog named Hanz....

[GolfNut]

so I put it on cruise

[icehog3]

Started hitting the booze,

[rizzle]

And my car ended up in the ponds.

[rizzle]

Next...

There are times I don't know chit

[Wolfgang]

but I just don't know when to quit,

[GolfNut]

though I think I may be

[14holestogie]

I'm not what you can see

[Mr B]

I am really just a twit

[Mr B]

New:

The years just keep getting shorter

[icehog3]

So I think I will run for the border,

[Emjaysmash]

with my humidor in tow,

[icehog3]

My anticipation did grow,

[14holestogie]

Lit one up, but the smoke nazis made me abort her

[14holestogie]

If I were you, I'd like to try...

[GolfNut]

a Cuban stogie before I die

[SmokeyJoe]

They say you can tell by the distinctive "twang"...

[icehog3]

And all those flavors that Cubans brang,

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brang

[14holestogie]

But a Cohibo will make you cry

[14holestogie]

My lighter's dry, my cutter's broken...

[SmokeyJoe]

My face speaks volumes without a word spoken...

[icehog3]

My sunshine is gone,

[SmokeyJoe]

But I'll find the strength to go on

[SmokeyJoe]

'Cuz I got friends who will help keep me smokin'! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

I love College Football on Saturdays...

[icehog3]

Watching through a smokey haze,

[SmokeyJoe]

A good cigar adds to the joy

[icehog3]

A good cigar adds to the joy

Alabama plays wth Florida like a toy,

:td

[SmokeyJoe]

The Gators sure miss those Tebow plays! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

There's a cigar for any occasion...

[Gophernut]

Including an emminent invasion,

[Brutus2600]

So I'll cut and I'll light...

[SmokeyJoe]

And prepare for a fight...

[icehog3]

But hope for a dangerous liason!

[icehog3]

NEW:

I have a great love for the Leaf,

[Brutus2600]

Dang it Tom, you and I think a like :r

I will have to rethink my next rhyme...

[icehog3]

Dang it Tom, you and I think a like :r

I will have to rethink my next rhyme...

:r Too funny, Brian.

[SvilleKid]

NEW:

I have a great love for the Leaf,

For which my wife does give me great grief..

[icehog3]

She withheld the goods,

[SvilleKid]

Forcing me to handle the woods

[SmokeyJoe]

With my Nub I found some relief. :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

There once was a terrible golfer...

[icehog3]

Who couldn't think of a rhyme for the word "golfer",

[SmokeyJoe]

His partner told him one day...

[Brutus2600]

as a round they did play...

[SmokeyJoe]

For his clubs - he should accept any offer! :D

[SmokeyJoe]

New one:

Bobby started his day all smiles...

[icehog3]

For his clubs - he should accept any offer! :D

golfer-offer? fail. :r

[icehog3]

New one:

Bobby started his day all smiles...

Going through his large Gurkha files,

[SmokeyJoe]

golfer-offer? fail. :r

:D Beats rhyming "golfer"... with... "golfer." :r

[SmokeyJoe]

Going through his large Gurkha files,

But when he lit one to smoke...

[icehog3]

:D Beats rhyming "golfer"... with... "golfer." :r

I didn't, Joe....I rhymed golfer with "golfer". ;) :r

[icehog3]

New one:

Bobby started his day all smiles...

Going through his large Gurkha files,

But when he lit one to smoke...

He started to choke,

[14holestogie]

And Tom's hacking could be heard for miles :)

[14holestogie]

Another day, another dollar...

[VTDragon]

Arriving home, heard my wife holler

[SvilleKid]

Arriving home, heard my wife holler

Where the hell have you been

[icehog3]

Then I saw the rolling pin,

[Wolfgang]

She found panties in my car.

[icehog3]

She found panties in my car.



You're supposed to start a new one right away too....I will crank one up if I don't see you hit it up. :tu

[Wolfgang]

I just dropped everything I'm doing,

[icehog3]

For the new woman I'm wooing,

[SvilleKid]

Even though some say she's a witch,

[Gophernut]

I don't think I'll switch,

[icehog3]

She is much too fond of the screwing.

[icehog3]

NEW:

Smoking my cigar in the rain,

[Gophernut]

keeping it lit can be a pain,

[icehog3]

So I huff and I puff,

[GolfNut]

I'll admit it is tough

[Gophernut]

from cursing I cannot refrain.