Limerick Thread!

[Stephen]

NEW:

William and Kate are soon to be wed,

[icehog3]

NEW:

William and Kate are soon to be wed,

Five years from now William will wish he was dead,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

William and Kate are soon to be wed,

Five years from now William will wish he was dead,
Kate will still be the darling of all the Brits,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

William and Kate are soon to be wed,

Five years from now William will wish he was dead,

Kate will still be the darling of all the Brits,

To catch a glimpse, some will act like twits,

[icehog3]

NEW:

William and Kate are soon to be wed,

Five years from now William will wish he was dead,

Kate will still be the darling of all the Brits,

To catch a glimpse, some will act like twits,

Don't they know that those two are both inbred?

[icehog3]

NEW:

The Blackhawks came back from the dead,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

The Blackhawks came back from the dead,
As did the Bruins, the New Englander said,

[icehog3]

NEW:

The Blackhawks came back from the dead,

As did the Bruins, the New Englander said,

So now there's Game Seven,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

The Blackhawks came back from the dead,

As did the Bruins, the New Englander said,

So now there's Game Seven,

Luongo may give up eleven,

[icehog3]

NEW:

The Blackhawks came back from the dead,

As did the Bruins, the New Englander said,

So now there's Game Seven,

Luongo may give up eleven,

And Western Canadians will chop off Luo's head.

[icehog3]

NEW:

I don't wanna work tomorrow,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

I don't wanna work tomorrow,

Do you have some sick time I could borrow?

[icehog3]

NEW:

I don't wanna work tomorrow,

Do you have some sick time I could borrow?

I can pay you in cash,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

I don't wanna work tomorrow,

Do you have some sick time I could borrow?

I can pay you in cash,
Or, perhaps from my stash?

[icehog3]

NEW:

I don't wanna work tomorrow,

Do you have some sick time I could borrow?

I can pay you in cash,

Or, perhaps from my stash?

If I have to go in I will be filled with sorrow.

[icehog3]

NEW:

I was sitting, eating bacon with a chimp,

[Fordman4ever]

NEW:

I was sitting, eating bacon with a chimp,

When a fat man came in with a limp,

[Brutus2600]

NEW:

I was sitting, eating bacon with a chimp,

When a fat man came in with a limp,

I asked what was shakin'

[icehog3]

NEW:

I was sitting, eating bacon with a chimp,

When a fat man came in with a limp,

I asked what was shakin'

He replied "monkey bacon",

[Brutus2600]

NEW:

I was sitting, eating bacon with a chimp,

When a fat man came in with a limp,

I asked what was shakin'

He replied "monkey bacon",

Then he floated right off like a blimp

[Brutus2600]

New:

I'm smoking a PSD four

[Fordman4ever]

if i'm not careful, i'll end up on the floor,

[Brutus2600]

So I'll smoke it real slow,

[icehog3]

New:

I'm smoking a PSD four

if i'm not careful, i'll end up on the floor,

So I'll smoke it real slow,

And in the end I will know,

[Brutus2600]

New:

I'm smoking a PSD four

if i'm not careful, i'll end up on the floor,

So I'll smoke it real slow,

And in the end I will know,

That I'll definitely need to get more!

[Brutus2600]

New:

There are too many speedos on the beach,

[icehog3]

New:

There are too many speedos on the beach,

I need to wash my eyes out with bleach,

[VTDragon]

New:

There are too many speedos on the beach,

I need to wash my eyes out with bleach,
Or maybe, just drink a lot more,

[icehog3]

New:

There are too many speedos on the beach,

I need to wash my eyes out with bleach,

Or maybe, just drink a lot more,

To forget the unforgettable eyesore,

[Gophernut]

New:

There are too many speedos on the beach,

I need to wash my eyes out with bleach,

Or maybe, just drink a lot more,

To forget the unforgettable eyesore,

To say it's disturbing is no reach.

[Gophernut]

New:
I hate when I have to work late,

[icehog3]

New:
I hate when I have to work late,

And don't even get the overtime rate,

[VTDragon]

New:
I hate when I have to work late,

And don't even get the overtime rate,
It would be better if I could light up a smoke,

[Gophernut]

New:
I hate when I have to work late,

And don't even get the overtime rate,

It would be better if I could light up a smoke,

But I'd be fired before the first toke,

[Fordman4ever]

New:
I hate when I have to work late,

And don't even get the overtime rate,

It would be better if I could light up a smoke,

But I'd be fired before the first toke,

And you know my wife would be Irate

[Fordman4ever]

I really hate having to study,

[VTDragon]

I really hate having to study,
When I could be out with my buddy,

[Gophernut]

I really hate having to study,

When I could be out with my buddy,

Reading a book instead of drinking a beer,

[icehog3]

I really hate having to study,

When I could be out with my buddy,

Reading a book instead of drinking a beer,

Make me want to walk to the end of a pier,

[Gophernut]

I really hate having to study,

When I could be out with my buddy,

Reading a book instead of drinking a beer,

Make me want to walk to the end of a pier,

This school thing is making me nutty.

[Gophernut]

I am coming down with a spring cold,

[VTDragon]

I am coming down with a spring cold,
Or maybe an alergy from too much cigar mold

[icehog3]

I am coming down with a spring cold,

Or maybe an alergy from too much cigar mold

First I sneeze, then I cough,

[Fordman4ever]

I am coming down with a spring cold,

Or maybe an alergy from too much cigar mold

First I sneeze, then I cough,

the ash from my 'gar falls right off,

[Gophernut]

I am coming down with a spring cold,

Or maybe an alergy from too much cigar mold

First I sneeze, then I cough,

the ash from my 'gar falls right off,

My nose is raw, this is getting old.

[Gophernut]

NEW:

The NFL Draft begins tonight,

[Stephen]

NEW:

The NFL Draft begins tonight,
Mel Kiper's hair is dy-no-mite!

[VTDragon]

NEW:

The NFL Draft begins tonight,

Mel Kiper's hair is dy-no-mite!
Pundits will declare who won and who lost,

[icehog3]

NEW:

The NFL Draft begins tonight,

Mel Kiper's hair is dy-no-mite!

Pundits will declare who won and who lost,

Deals will be made, but at what cost,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

The NFL Draft begins tonight,

Mel Kiper's hair is dy-no-mite!

Pundits will declare who won and who lost,

Deals will be made, but at what cost,

You can count on the Vikings to screw it up right!

[Gophernut]

NEW:

Next Sunday is Mother's Day,

[icehog3]

NEW:

Next Sunday is Mother's Day,

I'd hug my Mom if there was a way,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

Next Sunday is Mother's Day,

I'd hug my Mom if there was a way,

Be sure to thank those bringers of life,

[icehog3]

NEW:

Next Sunday is Mother's Day,

I'd hug my Mom if there was a way,

Be sure to thank those bringers of life,

Your mother, your sister, your wife,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

Next Sunday is Mother's Day,

I'd hug my Mom if there was a way,

Be sure to thank those bringers of life,

Your mother, your sister, your wife,

Mom, I love you is what I'll say

[Gophernut]

New:

Osama Bin Laden is finally dead,

[icehog3]

New:

Osama Bin Laden is finally dead,

A single tear, I wll not shed,

[Fordman4ever]

New:

Osama Bin Laden is finally dead,

A single tear, I wll not shed,

I hope Osama rots in hell,

[Gophernut]

New:

Osama Bin Laden is finally dead,

A single tear, I wll not shed,

I hope Osama rots in hell,

With nary a virgin in his cell,

[icehog3]

New:

Osama Bin Laden is finally dead,

A single tear, I wll not shed,

I hope Osama rots in hell,

With nary a virgin in his cell,

And only bacon shall he be fed.

[icehog3]

NEW:

NHL playoffs are in the second round,

[kugie]

NEW:

NHL playoffs are in the second round,

The Blackhawks are putting there clubs on the ground

[icehog3]

NEW:

NHL playoffs are in the second round,

The Blackhawks are putting there clubs on the ground

Soon the Flyers will advance,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

NHL playoffs are in the second round,

The Blackhawks are putting there clubs on the ground

Soon the Flyers will advance,

If Boucher can snap out of his trance,

[icehog3]

NEW:

NHL playoffs are in the second round,

The Blackhawks are putting there clubs on the ground

Soon the Flyers will advance,

If Boucher can snap out of his trance,

Then the Boston Bruins they will pound.

[icehog3]

NEW:

It is about time to mow the lawn,

[Fordman4ever]

NEW:

It is about time to mow the lawn,

I'll do it after my nap, yawn.

[kugie]

Then the Boston Bruins they will pound.


Nice :tu :D

[kugie]

I'll do it after my nap, yawn.

The Weeds they Are a growing.

[icehog3]

NEW:

It is about time to mow the lawn,

I'll do it after my nap, yawn.

The Weeds they Are a growing.

At least it's all done snowing,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

It is about time to mow the lawn,

I'll do it after my nap, yawn.

The Weeds they Are a growing.

At least it's all done snowing,

My neighbors like when I start at dawn.

[Gophernut]

New:
There is something new in the air,

[Fordman4ever]

New:
There is something new in the air,

does that smell like burnt hair,

[icehog3]

New:
There is something new in the air,

does that smell like burnt hair,

Or is it sweet like a cigar,

[Gophernut]

New:
There is something new in the air,

does that smell like burnt hair,

Or is it sweet like a cigar,

Maybe the scent of fresh tar?

[VTDragon]

New:
There is something new in the air,

does that smell like burnt hair,

Or is it sweet like a cigar,

Maybe the scent of fresh tar?
Really officer, that's just Oregeno, I swear.

[VTDragon]

New,
Tim Thomas leads Bruins into next round,

[Gophernut]

New,
Tim Thomas leads Bruins into next round,

Standing on his head, he continues to astound,

[icehog3]

New,
Tim Thomas leads Bruins into next round,

Standing on his head, he continues to astound,

But Marty St. Louis,

[kugie]

New,
Tim Thomas leads Bruins into next round,

Standing on his head, he continues to astound,

But Marty St. Louis,

Pooped his pants a went Pee pees

[icehog3]

New,
Tim Thomas leads Bruins into next round,

Standing on his head, he continues to astound,

But Marty St. Louis,

Pooped his pants a went Pee pees

But the 3rd line Bolts, they did pound. ;)

[icehog3]

NEW:

Tomorrow brings the Sharks and the 'Nucks,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

Tomorrow brings the Sharks and the 'Nucks,

Niemi and Luongo will be facing some pucks,

[Fordman4ever]

NEW:

Tomorrow brings the Sharks and the 'Nucks,

Niemi and Luongo will be facing some pucks,

I really hope there's lot of fights

[icehog3]

NEW:

Tomorrow brings the Sharks and the 'Nucks,

Niemi and Luongo will be facing some pucks,

I really hope there's lot of fights

And Pavelski with the twine in his sights,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

Tomorrow brings the Sharks and the 'Nucks,

Niemi and Luongo will be facing some pucks,

I really hope there's lot of fights

And Pavelski with the twine in his sights,

It's great hockey and my team sucks.

[Gophernut]

New:

40 pounds down and 20 to go,

[icehog3]

New:

40 pounds down and 20 to go,

A great accomplishment, I'll have you know,

[Fordman4ever]

New:

40 pounds down and 20 to go,

A great accomplishment, I'll have you know,

in the end its always worth it,

[Gophernut]

New:

40 pounds down and 20 to go,

A great accomplishment, I'll have you know,

in the end its always worth it,

More energy and old clothes now fit,

[VTDragon]

New:

40 pounds down and 20 to go,

A great accomplishment, I'll have you know,

in the end its always worth it,

More energy and old clothes now fit,
Feeling great and positively aglow

[VTDragon]

Playing some golf now that winter is gone,

[icehog3]

Playing some golf now that winter is gone,

Playing Augusta with Mr. Vince Vaughn,

[Gophernut]

Playing some golf now that winter is gone,

Playing Augusta with Mr. Vince Vaughn,

My putting sucks and the short game needs work,

[icehog3]

Playing some golf now that winter is gone,

Playing Augusta with Mr. Vince Vaughn,

My putting sucks and the short game needs work,

So I took lessons from Navin R. Johnson (The Jerk),

[VTDragon]

Playing some golf now that winter is gone,

Playing Augusta with Mr. Vince Vaughn,

My putting sucks and the short game needs work,

So I took lessons from Navin R. Johnson (The Jerk),
He thought that my game had little finesse and way too much brawn.

[VTDragon]

New:
Red Sox hitters are finally awake,

[icehog3]

New:
Red Sox hitters are finally awake,

The Cubs and the Tigers, the BoSox did bake,

[VTDragon]

New:
Red Sox hitters are finally awake,

The Cubs and the Tigers, the BoSox did bake,
They completed the trip from last place to first

[Gophernut]

New:
Red Sox hitters are finally awake,

The Cubs and the Tigers, the BoSox did bake,

They completed the trip from last place to first

Without playing the Twins whose record is worst,

[VTDragon]

New:
Red Sox hitters are finally awake,

The Cubs and the Tigers, the BoSox did bake,

They completed the trip from last place to first

Without playing the Twins whose record is worst,
But now they are stumbling again, they make my head ache!

[VTDragon]

New: (changing sports)
Boston has Stanley Cup fever,

[icehog3]

New: (changing sports)
Boston has Stanley Cup fever,

Hope they skin that Canadian beaver,

[Gophernut]

New: (changing sports)
Boston has Stanley Cup fever,

Hope they skin that Canadian beaver,

Do Burrows and the Canucks have enough bite to win?

[icehog3]

New: (changing sports)
Boston has Stanley Cup fever,

Hope they skin that Canadian beaver,

Do Burrows and the Canucks have enough bite to win?

Or will Bieksa lose that stupid grin,

[Gophernut]

New: (changing sports)
Boston has Stanley Cup fever,

Hope they skin that Canadian beaver,

Do Burrows and the Canucks have enough bite to win?

Or will Bieksa lose that stupid grin,

The Bruins get the cup, Canucks: Justin Bieber

[Gophernut]

NEW:
Too nice outside to go to work,

[icehog3]

NEW:
Too nice outside to go to work,

I skipped it too, am I a jerk?

[Gophernut]

NEW:
Too nice outside to go to work,

I skipped it too, am I a jerk?

All work and no play makes one a dull boy,

[icehog3]

NEW:
Too nice outside to go to work,

I skipped it too, am I a jerk?

All work and no play makes one a dull boy,

So though it may seem an evil ploy,

[Sherlockholms]

It's going to be a hot day.

[icehog3]

It's going to be a hot day.

Line #5 needs to rhyme with "work" and "jerk". ;)

[icehog3]

NEW:
Too nice outside to go to work,

I skipped it too, am I a jerk?

All work and no play makes one a dull boy,

So though it may seem an evil ploy,

______________________________________?

[VTDragon]

Since no one else wants it...
NEW:
Too nice outside to go to work,

I skipped it too, am I a jerk?

All work and no play makes one a dull boy,

So though it may seem an evil ploy,
Today, my duties I will shirk.

[VTDragon]

New:

I like summer when girls wear lots less clothes,

[icehog3]

New:

I like summer when girls wear lots less clothes,

Less fabric means more skin shows,

[Gophernut]

New:

I like summer when girls wear lots less clothes,

Less fabric means more skin shows,

Bikinis, and shortie shorts mean lots more to see,

[icehog3]

New:

I like summer when girls wear lots less clothes,

Less fabric means more skin shows,

Bikinis, and shortie shorts mean lots more to see,

It's making me loony, can't you see,

[VTDragon]

New:

I like summer when girls wear lots less clothes,

Less fabric means more skin shows,

Bikinis, and shortie shorts mean lots more to see,

It's making me loony, can't you see,
I especially like seeing those who strike a pose.

[VTDragon]

new:

There once was a man who went fishing,

[cmitch]

new:

There once was a man who went fishing,
a big bite and his line goes swishing

[Gophernut]

new:

There once was a man who went fishing,

a big bite and his line goes swishing

He pulls up hard on his pole,

[VTDragon]

new:

There once was a man who went fishing,

a big bite and his line goes swishing

He pulls up hard on his pole,
And hooks onto an evil old Troll

[Gophernut]

new:

There once was a man who went fishing,

a big bite and his line goes swishing

He pulls up hard on his pole,

And hooks onto an evil old Troll

Not the Mermaid for which he'd been wishing.

[Gophernut]

New:

The weather is getting awfully hot,

[icehog3]

New:

The weather is getting awfully hot,

I think heat stroke is what I've got,

[VTDragon]

New:

The weather is getting awfully hot,

I think heat stroke is what I've got,

My Cuban tastes like a Dutch Master,

[icehog3]

New:

The weather is getting awfully hot,

I think heat stroke is what I've got,

My Cuban tastes like a Dutch Master,

And the heat makes me smoke faster,

[VTDragon]

New:

The weather is getting awfully hot,

I think heat stroke is what I've got,

My Cuban tastes like a Dutch Master,

And the heat makes me smoke faster,
If only I could cool off and relax on a yacht.

[VTDragon]

New:

There once was a handsome Cigar Smoker,

[icehog3]

New:

There once was a handsome Cigar Smoker,

On the board, he used the name "poker",

[VTDragon]

New:

There once was a handsome Cigar Smoker,

On the board, he used the name "poker",
Part of the team of eleven, he helped make this site,

[VTDragon]

New:

There once was a handsome Cigar Smoker,

On the board, he used the name "poker",

Part of the team of eleven, he helped make this site,
Was he a generous guy, or just high as a kite?

[Gophernut]

New:

There once was a handsome Cigar Smoker,

On the board, he used the name "poker",

Part of the team of eleven, he helped make this site,

Was he a generous guy, or just high as a kite?

We certainly know he's a joker.

[Gophernut]

NEW:
Canucks fans burned cars after game seven,

[icehog3]

NEW:
Canucks fans burned cars after game seven,

How many did Luongo give up - Eleven?,

[VTDragon]

NEW:
Canucks fans burned cars after game seven,

How many did Luongo give up - Eleven?,
Vancouver just could not stand to win,

[icehog3]

NEW:
Canucks fans burned cars after game seven,

How many did Luongo give up - Eleven?,

Vancouver just could not stand to win,

But to the Vancouver Polices' chagrin,

[Gophernut]

NEW:
Canucks fans burned cars after game seven,

How many did Luongo give up - Eleven?,

Vancouver just could not stand to win,

But to the Vancouver Polices' chagrin,

The rioters behaved like hell, not heaven.

[Gophernut]

New:

Soon it will be Independence Day,

[icehog3]

New:

Soon it will be Independence Day,

Our ancestors fought for the American Way,

[VTDragon]

New:

Soon it will be Independence Day,

Our ancestors fought for the American Way,
They crafted Freedom's docs in smoke filled rooms,

[icehog3]

New:

Soon it will be Independence Day,

Our ancestors fought for the American Way,

They crafted Freedom's docs in smoke filled rooms,

Then sent countless Red Coats to their tombs,

[Gophernut]

New:

Soon it will be Independence Day,

Our ancestors fought for the American Way,

They crafted Freedom's docs in smoke filled rooms,

Then sent countless Red Coats to their tombs,

Thank you for the freedoms is what we should say.

[Gophernut]

New:

It's beautiful out and my boss is gone,

[icehog3]

New:

It's beautiful out and my boss is gone,

I'll smoke a cigar to honor Vince Vaughn,

[area51]

Then crash some weddings

[icehog3]

New:

It's beautiful out and my boss is gone,

I'll smoke a cigar to honor Vince Vaughn,

Then crash some weddings

With Otis Redding,

[VTDragon]

New:

It's beautiful out and my boss is gone,

I'll smoke a cigar to honor Vince Vaughn,

Then crash some weddings

With Otis Redding,
And the party will go on till dawn.

[VTDragon]

new:

A long weekend is about to begin,

[icehog3]

new:

A long weekend is about to begin,

Think I will slip some dame a Mickey Finn,

[VTDragon]

new:

A long weekend is about to begin,

Think I will slip some dame a Mickey Finn,
Fireworks are what I want to see,

[icehog3]

new:

A long weekend is about to begin,

Think I will slip some dame a Mickey Finn,

Fireworks are what I want to see,

Or Major Captain Silly's sklee,

[VTDragon]

new:
A long weekend is about to begin,
Think I will slip some dame a Mickey Finn,
Fireworks are what I want to see,
Or Major Captain Silly's sklee,
But a drink and a smoke are enough to make me grin.

[VTDragon]

New:
The Major League All Star beak is upon us,

[icehog3]

New:
The Major League All Star beak is upon us,

C.C. Sabathia should be there, to be honest,

[VTDragon]

New:
The Major League All Star beak is upon us,

C.C. Sabathia should be there, to be honest,
Seems lots of Stars have called in sick,

[icehog3]

New:
The Major League All Star beak is upon us,

C.C. Sabathia should be there, to be honest,

Seems lots of Stars have called in sick,

Aramis Ramirez said "**** this chit",

[Gophernut]

New:
The Major League All Star beak is upon us,

C.C. Sabathia should be there, to be honest,

Seems lots of Stars have called in sick,

Aramis Ramirez said "**** this chit",

Some peoples egos are humongous!

[Gophernut]

New:
Cano's winning pitcher was his dad,

[Doctorossi]

and that father is proud of his lad.

[VTDragon]

New:
Cano's winning pitcher was his dad,

and that father is proud of his lad.
All Stars both, they represent baseball well,

[VTDragon]

New:
Cano's winning pitcher was his dad,

and that father is proud of his lad.

All Stars both, they represent baseball well,
Dad's making sure that son's head doesn't swell.

[VTDragon]

New:
Cano's winning pitcher was his dad,

and that father is proud of his lad.

All Stars both, they represent baseball well,

Dad's making sure that son's head doesn't swell.
No one seemed to like this subject, that's too bad.

[VTDragon]

New:

It once was so hot in the Northeast,

[Doctorossi]

102 Fahrenheit, at the least.

[icehog3]

New:

It once was so hot in the Northeast,

102 Fahrenheit, at the least.

My wrappers did split,

[VTDragon]

New:

It once was so hot in the Northeast,

102 Fahrenheit, at the least.

My wrappers did split,
My feet swelled, my pores sweat and all I did was sit,

[VTDragon]

New:

It once was so hot in the Northeast,

102 Fahrenheit, at the least.

My wrappers did split,

My feet swelled, my pores sweat and all I did was sit,
I still sweat so much that I looked to be greased.

[VTDragon]

new:
Training camps have opened for football,

[Doctorossi]

but Randy Moss didn't answer the call.

[Mikess]

Waiting for that first Thursdays game

[icehog3]

new:
Training camps have opened for football,

but Randy Moss didn't answer the call.

Waiting for that first Thursdays game

Ochocinco is so lame,

[Gophernut]

new:
Training camps have opened for football,

but Randy Moss didn't answer the call.

Waiting for that first Thursdays game

Ochocinco is so lame,

Neither he or Moss will join the Hall.

[Gophernut]

NEW:

My lawn is now a foot high,

[icehog3]

NEW:

My lawn is now a foot high,

I just look out my window and sigh,

[Doctorossi]

Then I mix up a cocktail,

[icehog3]

NEW:

My lawn is now a foot high,

I just look out my window and sigh,

Then I mix up a cocktail,

Set my motivation to "fail",

[VTDragon]

NEW:

My lawn is now a foot high,

I just look out my window and sigh,

Then I mix up a cocktail,

Set my motivation to "fail",
Take a drink and remember when the snow was up to my thigh.

[VTDragon]

New:
I ponder whether to go fishing or play golf after work,

[icehog3]

New:
I ponder whether to go fishing or play golf after work,

I would go out drinking, but I'd feel like a jerk,

[Doctorossi]

I can't fish in a golf cart,

[icehog3]

New:
I ponder whether to go fishing or play golf after work,

I would go out drinking, but I'd feel like a jerk,

I can't fish in a golf cart,

Or putt with a fish part,

[VTDragon]

New:
I ponder whether to go fishing or play golf after work,

I would go out drinking, but I'd feel like a jerk,

I can't fish in a golf cart,

Or putt with a fish part,
I wonder which would be chosen by Captain Kirk?

[VTDragon]

New:
Back from vacation, I had a good time,

[irratebass]

New:
Back from vacation, I had a good time,

Had the Tequila, had the lime

[Doctorossi]

But I'm working this morning,

[icehog3]

New:
Back from vacation, I had a good time,

Had the Tequila, had the lime

But I'm working this morning,

And my desk, I'm adorning,

[TheTraveler]

While dreaming of smoking a Sublime.

[TheTraveler]

NEW:

I saw a man sit on a stump

[icehog3]

NEW:

I saw a man sit on a stump

This fella seemed quite the chump,

[TheTraveler]

His eyebrows were missing

[icehog3]

NEW:

I saw a man sit on a stump

This fella seemed quite the chump,

His eyebrows were missing

Most likely from pissing,

[Doctorossi]

on the fire that was toasting his rump!

[Doctorossi]

NEW:

A cadaver, it seemed, had gone missing...

[icehog3]

NEW:

A cadaver, it seemed, had gone missing...

It was Shaky the mohel, known for poor brissing,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

A cadaver, it seemed, had gone missing...

It was Shaky the mohel, known for poor brissing,
Revenge from an old client perhaps?

[icehog3]

NEW:

A cadaver, it seemed, had gone missing...

It was Shaky the mohel, known for poor brissing,

Revenge from an old client perhaps?

Taking a bit too much off too many chaps,

[TheTraveler]

Then seen with their wives all a'kissing.

[TheTraveler]

NEW:

There once was a man who smoked Nubs

[icehog3]

NEW:

There once was a man who smoked Nubs

He brought them to some disco clubs,

[TheTraveler]

There once was a man who smoked Nubs

He brought them to some disco clubs,

Said the man at the door ...

[icehog3]

NEW:

There once was a man who smoked Nubs

He brought them to some disco clubs,

Said the man at the door ...

That cigar, I abhor,

[TheTraveler]

There once was a man who smoked Nubs

He brought them to some disco clubs,

Said the man at the door ...

That cigar, I abhor,

But it quite suits your plug ugly mug.

[TheTraveler]

NEW:

To dine on foie gras and wine

[icehog3]

NEW:

To dine on foie gras and wine

Some might think is divine,

[TheTraveler]

To dine on foie gras and wine

Some might think is divine,

But the noob must beware

[icehog3]

NEW:

To dine on foie gras and wine

Some might think is divine,

But the noob must beware

Because it isn't that rare,

[TheTraveler]

To dine on foie gras and wine

Some might think is divine,

But the noob must beware

Because it isn't that rare,

For rich foods to shoot through you double-time.

[TheTraveler]

NEW:
There once was a lady who thought

[icehog3]

NEW:
There once was a lady who thought

Her husband's trousers were a little too taut,

[TheTraveler]

There once was a lady who thought

Her husband's trousers were a little too taut,

'Some sunny day', said he,

[icehog3]

NEW:
There once was a lady who thought

Her husband's trousers were a little too taut,

'Some sunny day', said he,

"I will set my loins free",

[TheTraveler]

There once was a lady who thought

Her husband's trousers were a little too taut,

'Some sunny day', said he,

"I will set my loins free",

"And with wonder you'll gaze and say naught!"

[TheTraveler]

NEW:

When exchanging hot words with a monkey

[icehog3]

NEW:

When exchanging hot words with a monkey

We quibbled about a Brewster named "Punky",

[TheTraveler]

When exchanging hot words with a monkey

We quibbled about a Brewster named "Punky",

He said she was hot

[icehog3]

NEW:

When exchanging hot words with a monkey

We quibbled about a Brewster named "Punky",

He said she was hot
And I said she was not,

[TheTraveler]

When exchanging hot words with a monkey

We quibbled about a Brewster named "Punky",

He said she was hot

And I said she was not,

He kicked me and said 'Google her, chunky!'

[TheTraveler]

NEW:

Some websites defraud or mislead you

[VTDragon]

NEW:

Some websites defraud or mislead you
It's just your money they want to accrue

[Gophernut]

NEW:

Some websites defraud or mislead you

It's just your money they want to accrue

They say they have that in stock,

[Doctorossi]

make your payment a lock,

[VTDragon]

NEW:
Some websites defraud or mislead you
It's just your money they want to accrue
They say they have that in stock,
make your payment a lock,
Then backorder it, so your just screwed.

[VTDragon]

New:
There once was a footballer named Haynesworth,

[Gophernut]

New:
There once was a footballer named Haynesworth,

Who was troubled because of his girth,

[icehog3]

New:
There once was a footballer named Haynesworth,

Who was troubled because of his girth,

Extra portions abound,

[Gophernut]

New:
There once was a footballer named Haynesworth,

Who was troubled because of his girth,

Extra portions abound,

And his new team has found,

[icehog3]

New:
There once was a footballer named Haynesworth,

Who was troubled because of his girth,

Extra portions abound,

And his new team has found,

They paid millions more than his worth.

[icehog3]

NEW:

I was in Tibet, riding a llama,

[Gophernut]

NEW:

I was in Tibet, riding a llama,

When reading he would pause at a comma,

[icehog3]

NEW:

I was in Tibet, riding a llama,

When reading he would pause at a comma,

And though it's hard to admit,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

I was in Tibet, riding a llama,

When reading he would pause at a comma,

And though it's hard to admit,
I came to enjoy the llama spit,

[icehog3]

NEW:

I was in Tibet, riding a llama,

When reading he would pause at a comma,

And though it's hard to admit,

I came to enjoy the llama spit,

But I still ain't that llama's Mama.

[icehog3]

NEW:

For some rockers, 27 seems to be the age,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

For some rockers, 27 seems to be the age,
When they finally make more than minimum wage

[VTDragon]

NEW:

For some rockers, 27 seems to be the age,

When they finally make more than minimum wage
Too bad their most creative years are gone

[icehog3]

NEW:

For some rockers, 27 seems to be the age,

When they finally make more than minimum wage

Too bad their most creative years are gone

Mostly wasted with a bong,

[VTDragon]

NEW:

For some rockers, 27 seems to be the age,

When they finally make more than minimum wage

Too bad their most creative years are gone

Mostly wasted with a bong,
Now they just go through the motions onstage.

[VTDragon]

New;

I once smoked a stogie so bad,

[icehog3]

New;

I once smoked a stogie so bad,

It made all of my tastebuds mad,

[Gophernut]

New;

I once smoked a stogie so bad,

It made all of my tastebuds mad,

From the first puff they were in pain,

[icehog3]

New;

I once smoked a stogie so bad,

It made all of my tastebuds mad,

From the first puff they were in pain,

I thought they'd gone insane,

[VTDragon]

New;

I once smoked a stogie so bad,

It made all of my tastebuds mad,

From the first puff they were in pain,

I thought they'd gone insane,
No more smoking gifts from women, no matter how scantilly clad.

[VTDragon]

new:

Leaves are changing color, a sure sign of fall,

[icehog3]

new:

Leaves are changing color, a sure sign of fall,

Hoping the Tigers get a ticket to the ball,

[Gophernut]

new:

Leaves are changing color, a sure sign of fall,

Hoping the Tigers get a ticket to the ball,

Rest assured the Rangers will have a say,

[icehog3]

new:

Leaves are changing color, a sure sign of fall,

Hoping the Tigers get a ticket to the ball,

Rest assured the Rangers will have a say,

Hopefully by a goose egg they lay,

[VTDragon]

new:

Leaves are changing color, a sure sign of fall,

Hoping the Tigers get a ticket to the ball,

Rest assured the Rangers will have a say,

Hopefully by a goose egg they lay,
Alas, Rangers and Cards play out the finale in baseball.

[VTDragon]

New,

Like all threads, this one is going stale