I need girl help please!

Originally Posted by mrreindeer

LINE UP BUDDY!





So true, so true, so funny, so sad, so funny it hurts.

I just got in a full on hormonal argument (mrsreindeer is 28 weeks pregnant) at the airport on Tuesday coming home because mrsreindeer wanted to eat her breakfast sandwich at a table and not in a seat near our gate at about the time we needed to start lining up to board. Seriously, wtf. I'm sitting there wondering if this is actually happening.

I just shut up and bit my tongue.

I like your hair any way you wear it.

[JaKaacH]

World's shortest fairytale:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "No!"

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and smoked really expensive cigars in the house and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

Originally Posted by JaKaacH

World's shortest fairytale:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "No!"

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and smoked really expensive cigars in the house and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

THE END

HA HA HA,,,,why didn't I hear this one when I was a kid?

[Rabidsquirrel]

Originally Posted by JaKaacH

farted whenever he wanted.

Being married is supposed to stop that?

I guess I've been doing it wrong.

[kugie]

Step up be a man

Hold on wife is calling
Me: Yes dear
her: What did you Say!?
me: I'm taking out the trash
Her: Good!

As i Was saying ya gotta step up show her who's boss

She's calling, gotta go
Plase please Please don't tell her I said this

[smokeyandthebandit05]

So far Ive gotten some pretty good advice

[TanithT]

Originally Posted by JaKaacH

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and smoked really expensive cigars in the house and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

So if you want to have all this AND get laid regularly, make sure that anyone you marry shares your favorite hobbies and is also cool enough to be okay with the ones you don't share.

About the toilet seat, I can't help you. Guys have no idea how distressing it is to stumble to the potty in the middle of the night, half asleep in the dark, and sit down with an unexpected splash. Separate bathrooms will solve the issue, or installing a urinal. But having my toilet set up for my anatomical configuration is a non negotiable. You're perfectly welcome to have your own toilet, but leave mine with the seat down or else. And by "or else" I mean that when I come back from the bathroom with my ass cold and disgustingly dripping because you left the seat up and didn't flush, I will sit on you. You have been warned.

I do however love fishing and hunting and cigars. I don't care much for golf but I'll happily smoke your expensive cigars while you are playing.

PS - if you fart, I'll probably light it with my torch and laugh my ass off.

[csbrewfisher]

Originally Posted by TanithT

About the toilet seat...

Will you please put it back up when you're finished?

[macpappy]

Originally Posted by csbrewfisher

Will you please put it back up when you're finished?

They yell at you when you don't put it back down but then they yell at you when you don't put it up. There is just no pleasing them...

[smokeyandthebandit05]

Originally Posted by macpappy

They yell at you when you don't put it back down but then they yell at you when you don't put it up. There is just no pleasing them...

I think the only solution to the problem is to buy one of them automatic seats lol

http://www.plumbingsupply.com/automa...let-seats.html



----------------
Now playing: Kenny Chesney - Out Last Night
via FoxyTunes

Originally Posted by TanithT

So if you want to have all this AND get laid regularly, make sure that anyone you marry shares your favorite hobbies and is also cool enough to be okay with the ones you don't share.

Having different interests is totally cool. She likes to cook, I like to grill and burn food. She likes being a vegitarian, I like beef. I smoke cigars, she doesn't. I drink scotch, she drinks wine.

The only hobby of mine she doesn't like is me watching other pretty women. I believe she'd rather castrate me than allow that to happen when she's around. What was it that Carter said?
"Ok to lust in your mind?" ummm not so much.

Originally Posted by BrokenSkeg

Having different interests is totally cool. She likes to cook, I like to grill and burn food. She likes being a vegitarian, I like beef. I smoke cigars, she doesn't. I drink scotch, she drinks wine.

The only hobby of mine she doesn't like is me watching other pretty women. I believe she'd rather castrate me than allow that to happen when she's around. What was it that Carter said?
"Ok to lust in your mind?" ummm not so much.

Glad my wife isn't like that. Just ask the boys who met her at E.L.V.I.S.

[csbrewfisher]

Originally Posted by BrokenSkeg

The only hobby of mine she doesn't like is me watching other pretty women. I believe she'd rather castrate me than allow that to happen when she's around.

This is a classic example of a woman who is completely ignorant about men. We are wired to notice other women, and the moment we stop doing so will be the moment we stop noticing THEM too.

It's like holding up a giant sign and telling your woman NOT to read the words, just look at the sign, admire the lettering. Do not read the words. The sign says

DO NOT READ THESE WORDS

Ya think she read it? Ya think?

[GTCanuk]

What happens when you put the lid down too?

Originally Posted by TanithT

So if you want to have all this AND get laid regularly, make sure that anyone you marry shares your favorite hobbies and is also cool enough to be okay with the ones you don't share.

About the toilet seat, I can't help you. Guys have no idea how distressing it is to stumble to the potty in the middle of the night, half asleep in the dark, and sit down with an unexpected splash. Separate bathrooms will solve the issue, or installing a urinal. But having my toilet set up for my anatomical configuration is a non negotiable. You're perfectly welcome to have your own toilet, but leave mine with the seat down or else. And by "or else" I mean that when I come back from the bathroom with my ass cold and disgustingly dripping because you left the seat up and didn't flush, I will sit on you. You have been warned.

I do however love fishing and hunting and cigars. I don't care much for golf but I'll happily smoke your expensive cigars while you are playing.

PS - if you fart, I'll probably light it with my torch and laugh my ass off.