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Old 08-01-2013, 12:10 PM   #1
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Default Unemployed

A young man with his pants hanging half off his butt walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just H A T E drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job - I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, But you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well...You started it." .....
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Old 08-01-2013, 12:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: Unemployed

now that some funny shiat right there
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Old 08-01-2013, 12:30 PM   #3
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Old 08-01-2013, 12:36 PM   #4
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Default Re: Unemployed

I heard from a friend of a friend that it is a true story.
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Old 08-01-2013, 12:42 PM   #5
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Default Re: Unemployed

Quote:
Originally Posted by markem View Post
I heard from a friend of a friend that it is a true story.
One can tell the age of this joke. Left it in there on purpose.
Rich guy would have a 2013 or 2014 if already out.
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Old 08-01-2013, 12:56 PM   #6
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Old 08-01-2013, 01:38 PM   #7
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Good one :-)
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Old 08-01-2013, 02:01 PM   #8
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Old 08-01-2013, 02:38 PM   #9
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Old 08-01-2013, 03:23 PM   #10
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Ha ha ha classic!
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Old 08-01-2013, 07:28 PM   #11
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Old 08-02-2013, 08:56 AM   #12
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