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Old 08-12-2011, 09:16 AM   #1
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Default What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Religion - "You better pray that comes out of the carpet"
Logic - "Because I said so, that's why"
Irony - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"
Wisdom - "When you get to my age you'll understand"
Justice - "One day you'll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you!!"
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:23 AM   #2
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Thats AWESOM... The good old days when Disciplining children was not ABUSE...
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:29 AM   #3
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:37 AM   #4
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Very nice heh.
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Old 08-12-2011, 10:39 AM   #5
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Memories....I could've gone all day without these as a reminder
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Old 08-12-2011, 11:28 AM   #6
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

That's very very true... My wife and I were talking yesterday about how her grandma could have had 13 kids. My response was beatings and punishment.
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Old 08-12-2011, 12:08 PM   #7
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Old 08-12-2011, 12:14 PM   #8
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Wait...are we brothers? My Mom said the same things!
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Old 08-12-2011, 12:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfNut View Post
Wait...are we brothers? My Mom said the same things!
Ah see we are all brothers!
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Old 08-12-2011, 12:47 PM   #10
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfNut View Post
Wait...are we brothers? My Mom said the same things!
Brothers from different Mothers!!!
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Old 08-12-2011, 02:59 PM   #11
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Old 08-12-2011, 03:14 PM   #12
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

All those are familiar plus these

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim

My Momma's mustache looked a lot like Jim Croce's now that I think about it.
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Old 08-13-2011, 06:17 AM   #13
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

My Mom taught me that women have stealth mode and are good detectives!

When you think you're safe to say or do something stupid, they will catch you!

My wife taught me that women can hear through walls! But that's another story!
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Old 08-13-2011, 08:03 AM   #14
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Don't forget - "This hurts me more than it hurts you." said just before the a$$ whooping
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Old 08-13-2011, 11:39 PM   #15
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barcode View Post
Don't forget - "This hurts me more than it hurts you." said just before the a$$ whooping
And my Mom taught me that "Well, let me spank you them" is NOT the correct response to that statement!

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Old 08-14-2011, 02:04 PM   #16
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippiebrian View Post
And my Mom taught me that "Well, let me spank you them" is NOT the correct response to that statement!

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Old 08-21-2011, 07:39 PM   #17
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Default Re: What My Momma Taught Me!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippiebrian View Post
And my Mom taught me that "Well, let me spank you them" is NOT the correct response to that statement!

That's funny right there
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