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Old 01-29-2010, 02:31 AM   #1
Tashaz
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Default Bears In The Woods.

OK, Razz would have seen this elsewhere but bear with me LOL.

A guys out hunting in the woods and spots a black bear. He lines up his rifle, lets rip and kills it stone dead. Next thing there is a tap on his shoulder. On turning around he is confronted by a big brown bear, who looks incensed because that was his mate that got shot, gives the hunter two choices. Be eaten or have sex with the bear. Needless to say the sex was not pleasant and it took the hunter a few days to recover.

Having had his pride and body damaged the hunter wanted revenge. So in a few days he went off in search of the brown bear. After searching aimlessly he stumbles upon a clearing and lo and behold, there is the brown bear sleeping. Of course the hunter takes the advantage, shoots the bear & cuts it's throat for good measure. Quite pleased with himself he gets a tap on the should by a huge grizzly, the distant cousin of the brown bear, and gets the same two options as before. This time it takes him weeks to recover both physically and mentally but the whole time he has sworn to get that grizzly.

After about a month of unsuccessful therapy he is out in the woods again. It takes him three days to find that friggin grizzly, four shots to kill it, two knives to cut it's throat and a carving knife to dismember it. This, he says to himself, is the end of that crap.

Next minute he gets a tap on the shoulder from behind, turns and sees the biggest polar bear he's ever heard of who utters the question, "Your dont come here for the hunting do you?"
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Old 01-29-2010, 01:27 PM   #2
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Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

>>
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Old 01-29-2010, 01:29 PM   #3
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Smart bear.
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Old 02-01-2010, 08:48 PM   #4
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Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

Ouch!
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Old 02-01-2010, 10:38 PM   #5
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Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

Ruh Roh!!
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Old 02-01-2010, 11:09 PM   #6
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Default Re: Bears In The Woods.

I've always loved this joke! It's a classic.
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