Girlfriends Dad..

floydpink · 06-22-2010, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lbowles2

My daughter is 3... I've started lifting weights to be prepared

Mine is 5 and I have a shotgun and a shovel waiting..

06-22-2010, 09:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by floydpink

Mine is 5 and I have a shotgun and a shovel waiting..

Mine is 11 months old and I've got plans for a large gun case and a "don't answer the door without gun in hand" policy that I'll use starting in about 12 years.

markem · 06-22-2010, 09:21 AM

All you Dads need to take a page from Bill Engvall's playbook

Bill Engvall: My litle girl is 16. She's at that age where she's in her room listening to her stereo, online with her friends, and boys are starting to call. Oh, my God. We had a kid call the house at 2 in the morning. I lost it. First off, I'm sound asleep in la-la land with Shania Twain in the mountains somewhere. I hear a phone ring and I'm like, "Who's got a phone in the mountains?" So when I realized it's my phone, I'm already ticked off. I went, "Hello!" And this little voice goes, "Is Emily there?" And I go, "Dude, if you have a brain in your skull you will hang up this phone up right now!" And my wife goes, "Bill, you gotta be nice." I said, "No, ma'am, nice stops at midnight." She said, "What will you do when these little boys come over?" I said, "I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna pull the young man in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. I'm gonna whisper in his ear. I'm gonna say, "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl there? That's my only little girl. She's my life. So if you have any thought about hugging or kissing, you remember these words: I got no problem going back to prison."

06-22-2010, 09:21 AM	#3
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,647 Trading: (47)	Re: Girlfriends Dad.. All you Dads need to take a page from Bill Engvall's playbook Bill Engvall: My litle girl is 16. She's at that age where she's in her room listening to her stereo, online with her friends, and boys are starting to call. Oh, my God. We had a kid call the house at 2 in the morning. I lost it. First off, I'm sound asleep in la-la land with Shania Twain in the mountains somewhere. I hear a phone ring and I'm like, "Who's got a phone in the mountains?" So when I realized it's my phone, I'm already ticked off. I went, "Hello!" And this little voice goes, "Is Emily there?" And I go, "Dude, if you have a brain in your skull you will hang up this phone up right now!" And my wife goes, "Bill, you gotta be nice." I said, "No, ma'am, nice stops at midnight." She said, "What will you do when these little boys come over?" I said, "I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna pull the young man in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. I'm gonna whisper in his ear. I'm gonna say, "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl there? That's my only little girl. She's my life. So if you have any thought about hugging or kissing, you remember these words: I got no problem going back to prison." __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx