Ask The Rabbi!!

[ActionAndy]

Under what circumstances is violence tolerated? Self defense?

Originally Posted by DougBushBC

Rabbi, I'm Roman Catholic and my Girlfriend is Reform Jewish. How does the Jewish Faith view such an interfaith marriage when we start heading that way?
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I'll throw my hand in on this one since I'm a Reform Jew and mrsreindeer is Christian (her mom was raised Mormon, dad raised Catholic but are both now Christian). Now, I'm less spiritually Jewish and more culturally so, as a lot of the modern members of the Tribe are these days....not quite sure why that is but I think, as a whole, a lot of folks (not just Jews) are finding less and less time in their lives to devote to religion and spirituality (myself included, and it's kinda sad, I guess but I haven't done anything to change it nor do I really care at this point in time.....i.e. much too busy with other things that are taking priority).

Mrsreindeer still holds it over my head to this day (not really, she jokes about it)....that on our first date (since she was so smokin' hot) I said, ah heck, hell no, I don't need to marry a Jew. This was a wee bitty little white lie. I was raised Jewish; it's very important to me and I love everything about it culturally as it was a significant part of my upbringing. I was even a Hebrew tutor in Hebrew School and a Teacher's Assistant in Sunday School. I also spent a couple summers at a Jewish Summer Camp in Nova Scotia. Yeah, try and figure that one out...I'm an L.A. native.

So there I was lying to my wife on our first date. What I've had to explain to her is that yeah, in a perfect world, she'd be Jewish and we'd live happily ever after. But hey, I love the poor girl, can't live without her and the world ain't perfect. And marrying her was the very best thing I ever did. Up until possibly September, when we'll be introducing baby Sarah Kelly into the world. Yep, I got the Jewish first name and she's bringing her Irish heritage into the mix. It's awesome.

I think I'm getting off track but just trying to give you a little background. And you know what...we've been married almost 7 years now and haven't had any issues. With each other religiously or with family.

And I was expecting some trouble with my folks. My Dad was raised, I'd say, conservative and my Mom was raised Reform. But they both love mrsreindeer so it was really never an issue. Now, my Dad and stepmom are members of the Church of Religious Science (NOT Scientology) and I'm not quite sure how that happened but they like it so that's good. My mom hasn't been to temple in awhile so she's very relaxed religiously as well.

I guess it all depends on your girlfriend's family. How Reform is she? I'd say you've lucked out there out of all the different levels of Judaism...it'd be tougher, probably, if you guys were talking marriage and she was Conservative or Orthodox.

You might have some trouble with your family but you know your family best.

In the end, what matters most is that you guys love each other, are happy and respectful of each other's religions and your family understands you both, loves you both and respects you both for what you bring to the table.

Now that we're expecting a baby, we realize (and have talked at length) that our child will need some moral direction, lessons in spirituality, etc. and I think we can teach our baby some beautiful aspects of both our religions. It'll be a work in progress but we're happy to tackle it.

Good luck to you!

[TomHagen]

Originally Posted by ActionAndy

Under what circumstances is violence tolerated? Self defense?

Violence is tolerated in self-defense, and in many cases it is in-fact a Mitzvah, positive commandment.

Here's a great quote from the wisest of all men, King Solomon in Ecclesiastes:

Everything has an appointed season, and there is a time for every matter under the heaven.
A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot that which is planted.
A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break and a time to build.
A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time of wailing and a time of dancing.
A time to cast stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away.
A time to rend and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.

(the Byrds kinda stole this )

Sometimes war is necessary. Judaism teaches the supreme value of life, yet we're not pacifists. Wiping out evil is also part of justice. As Rashi explains (Deut. 20:12), dangerous disputes must be resolved. Because if you choose to leave evil alone – it will eventually attack you.



It is ironic that the Jewish people created the basis of Western morality – such as an absolute morality and the concept of the sanctity of life, and today civilizations that rest on our foundation. The values such as respect of life, freedom, and brotherhood, all stem from Judaism.

* * *

Here are the Seven Universal laws of humanity. These “Noachide Laws” are basic to any functioning society:

1) Do not murder.
2) Do not steal.
3) Do not worship false gods.
4) Do not be sexually immoral.
5) Do not eat the limb of an animal before it is killed.
6) Do not curse God.
7) Set up courts and bring offenders to justice.

At the root of these laws lies the vital concept that there is a God Who created each and every person in His image, and that each person is dear to the Almighty and must be respected accordingly. These seven laws are the pillars of human civilization. They are the factors which distinguish a city of humans from a jungle of wild animals.

* * *

Even as the Jews drew close to battle, they were commanded to act with mercy. Before attacking, the Jews offered terms of peace, as the Torah states, "When approaching a town to attack it, first offer them peace." (Deut. 20:10)