Key words to avoid for a lasting marriage

[kgraybill]

1) Calm down
2) "No those jeans don't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat"
3) "You're just not listening to me..."
4) It's your fault
5) I told you so
6) Damn, your sister is hot
7) Isnt that your moms dress?
8) You "were" so hot
9) Do these jeans still fit you?
10) Those aren't your panties?
11) How long is your mother staying?
12) You kinda look like your mom
13) Cant this wait til after the game?
14) What are you trying to say?
15) Are you going to clean that up?
16.) When are we eating?
17) Well that was stupid.
18) Is it supposed to smell like that?
19) My perfect woman? 4ft, flat head, no teeth. *followed by....
20) I'd love you more if you had no arms or legs.
21) I'd do her
22) It really pisses me off when you...............(add anything you want as it doesn't matter)
23) what is this suppose to be?
24) It seems like we have been married forever.
25) This is the reason why I drink.
26) Why are you mad at me?
27) Did I do something wrong?
28) That chick from the office with the big cans wants everyone to meet for drinks this Friday after work.
29) Where you talking to me?
30) You remind me of my ex sometimes.
31) I don't like the way that outfit looks on you.
32) Never call her the C word ever!!! (PM me if you don't know this one)
33) Small things (from the don't sweat the small things book, i don't think there is such a thing as a small thing to women)
34) I've had better
35) I HAVE AIDS!
36) Will you please just kill me and end this suffering?
37) I liked your hair the other way
38) Honey, wheres my super suit
39) I hate your mother or go for the gusto and say I hate your family.
40) You don't need any ice cream.
41) Man this place looks like a dump. What have you been doing all day dear?
42) Isn't this hummer week?
43) Are those your fat jeans?
44) What is wrong with you?
45) What is your problem?
46) Does your wedding dress still fit?
47) Remember when your ass looked like that? Yeah, me neither
48) Honey, you're going to be a step-mom!
49) I swear that's the last box I'll ever order again.
50) You're like a dog with a bone!
51) Was it good for you? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
52) You know today is a national holiday? Happy Steak and *J Day!!
53) She's just a friend.........
54) Forrest, don't be an ass! (I heard this not 2 minutes ago!)

So let's throw a serious one....
55) [sarcasm]Yes dear....[/sarcasm]
56) Go make me a sandwich.
57) Well, at least the dog runs up and gives me a kiss when I come home.