Should I feel bad? mixed emotions...

Brutus2600 · 09-29-2010, 08:52 AM

Seems like it's more your wife having an issue with you smoking and not really what other people think or the influence on the kids, those just seem like "bonus arguments" that she can add on top of her not liking it. Also, it's now more "in her face" with a display cabinet and not "out of sight out of mind." I know my gf took awhile to come around. How long have you been smoking? Also, is she or your kids around at all when you smoke?

ninjavanish · 09-29-2010, 08:59 AM

Well,

I'm certainly no expert on Wifes or kids.

But I would say that you should reference the poem:

"The Betrothed" by Rudyard Kipling

For a little perspective at the very least. Smart guy that Kipling.

One of my favorite poems.

neoflex · 09-29-2010, 09:12 AM

How long have you been smoking? Are you new to this hobby of ours? Just asking because when I first met my wife many moons ago I only smoked on occasion but since than I have a much much larger collection and smoke more often to boot. When I started to step things up a bit my wife used to give me the whole thing about how she doesn't want me to smoke and wishes I would stop. If your new and it's new to her I would say tread lightly but stick with it but try to keep your purchases small and if you go big I would say don't flaunt it in hopes she doesn't notice. A few years ago my wife made a 180 in her opinion of my hobby. She knows that it is something I enjoy and knows that I bust my a$s everyday and now realizes that sitting outside with a good cigar relaxes me so she doesn't mind it. She will break chops a little if she sees me smoking one or more everyday but those times are far and few since free time tends to be rather limited. Hell, she even gave me the green light to buy a tower since she said she is tired of seeing so many humis around the house. She was even doing bills this week and I went a little nuts purchase wise the last couple of months and was waiting to hear it but all she said to me about them was, "Can you please use the debit card for your cigar purchases, I would rather you didn't use the credit card if you don't have to." She must have known I was shocked because of my face because she followed up with "I don't care about what you bought, you work hard and deserve it just please use the debit." I am still a little stunned but it may also be that I took her to the jewelery store the night before and she found two necklaces that she liked and couldn't decide which to get and I told her just get both if you like them. She responded with but that's a lot of money. I told her it's your birthday gift just get them both it doesn't matter.
The point of my long winded post is just go easy with purchases for a bit and let her see how much you enjoy the hobby and share things about it with her and I bet she will eventually come around to it if this is a new hobby for you. It took me some time but mone eventually got onboard with it and my wife was probably one of the toughest sells on it.

09-29-2010, 08:52 AM	#1
Brutus2600 Your resident lancerHO Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Brian Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 2,063 Trading: (46)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... Seems like it's more your wife having an issue with you smoking and not really what other people think or the influence on the kids, those just seem like "bonus arguments" that she can add on top of her not liking it. Also, it's now more "in her face" with a display cabinet and not "out of sight out of mind." I know my gf took awhile to come around. How long have you been smoking? Also, is she or your kids around at all when you smoke?

09-29-2010, 08:59 AM	#2
ninjavanish Feeling at Home Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Trust me, your humi isn't big enough. Posts: 507 Trading: (16)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... Well, I'm certainly no expert on Wifes or kids. But I would say that you should reference the poem: "The Betrothed" by Rudyard Kipling For a little perspective at the very least. Smart guy that Kipling. One of my favorite poems.

09-29-2010, 09:12 AM	#3
neoflex I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Nov 2008 First Name: John Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 2,765 Trading: (32)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... How long have you been smoking? Are you new to this hobby of ours? Just asking because when I first met my wife many moons ago I only smoked on occasion but since than I have a much much larger collection and smoke more often to boot. When I started to step things up a bit my wife used to give me the whole thing about how she doesn't want me to smoke and wishes I would stop. If your new and it's new to her I would say tread lightly but stick with it but try to keep your purchases small and if you go big I would say don't flaunt it in hopes she doesn't notice. A few years ago my wife made a 180 in her opinion of my hobby. She knows that it is something I enjoy and knows that I bust my a$s everyday and now realizes that sitting outside with a good cigar relaxes me so she doesn't mind it. She will break chops a little if she sees me smoking one or more everyday but those times are far and few since free time tends to be rather limited. Hell, she even gave me the green light to buy a tower since she said she is tired of seeing so many humis around the house. She was even doing bills this week and I went a little nuts purchase wise the last couple of months and was waiting to hear it but all she said to me about them was, "Can you please use the debit card for your cigar purchases, I would rather you didn't use the credit card if you don't have to." She must have known I was shocked because of my face because she followed up with "I don't care about what you bought, you work hard and deserve it just please use the debit." I am still a little stunned but it may also be that I took her to the jewelery store the night before and she found two necklaces that she liked and couldn't decide which to get and I told her just get both if you like them. She responded with but that's a lot of money. I told her it's your birthday gift just get them both it doesn't matter. The point of my long winded post is just go easy with purchases for a bit and let her see how much you enjoy the hobby and share things about it with her and I bet she will eventually come around to it if this is a new hobby for you. It took me some time but mone eventually got onboard with it and my wife was probably one of the toughest sells on it. __________________