Reasons why pipes are better than cigars...

[csbrewfisher]

1. I don't have to dedicate so much of my time to a pipe each time I smoke one
2. its alot harder to smoke a pipe the wrong way round lol
3. When you smoke a pipe your IQ raises by 10 points
4. I can smoke a pipe hands-free without smoke getting in my eyes
5.I can be pretentious
6. I don't have to spend a paycheck to get 25 smokes
7. my wife doesn't avoid me when I smoke a pipe
8. What I left forgot about and left unsmoked the day before is FANTASTIC today.
9. When I finish a cigar I'm left with a stub and a band. When I finish a pipe I still have a beautiful piece of briar or meer.
10. I can smoke in the rain by simply turning the pipe upside down. (must be a straight rather than bent)
11. I can wear my tweed jacket with the patches and not get laughed at.
12. I can now attend an Ivy League University
13. I can smoke lots of different "blends" in my pipe.
14. Cougars think I have money.
15. humidors for pipe tobacco are free (any place you set the tin)
16. you can sell a smoked pipe and get back your initial investment
17. You'll never hear someone say, "Look at this beautiful 40+ year old cigar I found languishing in an antique shop. A little TLC and it'll be good as new!".
18. It lets you lurk in the "slow" section of all the cigar boards.
19. Any leftover I throw in the garden doesn't lool like a dog turd next day
20. Smoking a pipe instantly qualifies you for your AARP card.
21. I can hold my pipe by the bowl and point and gesture with the stem end.
22. Pipes can be carved into works of art or be plain and simple. Carving a cigar ... not so good.
23. Pipes can be passed from grandfather, to father, to son to maintain that family history.
24. Pipes are not associated with Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski.