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Old 01-29-2018, 03:10 AM   #1
Don Fernando
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Default I'm migrating

right now I really don't know what to say, i'm numb, i'm on an emotional rollercoaster.

I'm married to a wonderful women from Singapore, she has two kids from a previous marriage, an 18 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. I have a great bond with the little girl, even though I have only seen her irl a few times and through video calls a lot.

The plan was for my wife and daughter to move her, son made a choice to stay behind but an hour ago we got the verdict from the custody, we can't remove the little girl from Singapore. So I will have to migrate there.

I try to focus on the positive, I will be with the woman I love, with my stepdaughter that I love, with my stepson but I will miss my friends, my family. I will also have to sell my 3 storey, 3 bedroom, mancave with walk-in house with a waterfront garden to move into a 2 bedroom apartment with a small kitchen. And into a country with extreme high tobacco taxes.

My wife has a small social circle, rents an apartment so her moving here would have been way less troublesome. She also really wants to move out of Singapore while I am neutral on where to live. So the outcome of the verdict blew our plans and I'm pretty numb right now.
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Old 01-29-2018, 06:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Ferdi, I'm sorry for the situation you are in. I have no advice to offer. Know this though, with love and family you can and will overcome all any obstacles in life. When life throws you a curve ball knock it outta the park.

When you're with those you love life can be joyfull anywhere. Home truly is where the heart is. Good luck brother.
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Old 01-29-2018, 07:07 AM   #3
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Default Re: I'm migrating

So you finally get to be with the woman you love. Congratulations!!

(In the long run that's all that matters).
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Old 01-29-2018, 07:16 AM   #4
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Default Re: I'm migrating

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So you finally get to be with the woman you love. Congratulations!!

(In the long run that's all that matters).
What he said!!
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Old 01-29-2018, 08:26 AM   #5
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Have to go with love, it makes every day better no matter where you are!
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Old 01-29-2018, 09:08 AM   #6
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Default Re: I'm migrating

I have spent some time working in Singapore. I can see the good and bad living there. I wouldn't mind living there if I had a good job. Millionaires are the norm it seems. Will you be able to work? I didn't find cigar prices any higher than most of EU. Certainly better selection than EU. Liquor prices are really high, but there's plenty of good happy hours. Changi airport has reduced liquor prices. Everyone eats out, so small kitchen is the norm out there. At least airfare to SIN is cheap and you can see so many cool places so easily from there.

Just thinking of the food in Singapore is making me hungry!
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Old 01-29-2018, 09:09 AM   #7
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Quote:
Originally Posted by mosesbotbol View Post
I have spent some time working in Singapore. I can see the good and bad living there. I wouldn't mind living there if I had a good job. Millionaires are the norm it seems. Will you be able to work? I didn't find cigar prices any higher than most of EU. Certainly better selection than EU. Liquor prices are really high, but there's plenty of good happy hours. Changi airport has reduced liquor prices. Everyone eats out, so small kitchen is the norm out there. At least airfare to SIN is cheap and you can see so many cool places so easily from there.

Just thinking of the food in Singapore is making me hungry!
Cigar prices are WAY WAY WAY higher than in most of the EU, except for the UK. And I will either start my own business of look for a job there.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:03 AM   #8
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Default Re: I'm migrating

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Cigar prices are WAY WAY WAY higher than in most of the EU, except for the UK. And I will either start my own business of look for a job there.
Did you ever make it over the Regent for cigars? I paid around $25 for ERDM Grande Espana which is hard enough to find a vendor.

How much are you seeing rents for an apartment? I thought they averaged around 4-7K a month?
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:15 AM   #9
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Quote:
Originally Posted by mosesbotbol View Post
Did you ever make it over the Regent for cigars? I paid around $25 for ERDM Grande Espana which is hard enough to find a vendor.

How much are you seeing rents for an apartment? I thought they averaged around 4-7K a month?
Not the regent, but other cigar places like Olde Cuban and some shops.

depending on the area, my wife rents an apartment for 1100 now but with the money I will get from selling my house here we will be able to buy a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment with hardly any mortgage
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Old 01-29-2018, 09:44 AM   #10
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Opportunities out of obstacles, Ferdie -- take some time to assess, reflect and let it sink in. I know it wasn't your plan, but maybe someone else has a different plan for you.

Best of luck!
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:13 AM   #11
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Ferdie, stay positive and focus on the reason for the move....Love. Hopefully everything else will fall into place.
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Old 01-29-2018, 11:02 AM   #12
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Default Re: I'm migrating

It's only like 12-13 hour flight from AMS to SNG...

Just think it's like 20 hour flight from US... My girlfriend hated the flight when she came to visit...
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Old 01-29-2018, 11:37 AM   #13
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Default Re: I'm migrating

"only"

I prefer flying KLM over Singapore Airlines because of the departure time, SG departs 11 am, so by the time I arrive its the time my body thinks its bedtime, yet with the time difference the day there just starts (landing between 6 and 7 am). KLM departs 9 pm, so watch a movie, have dinner, pop a sleeping pill and wake up 8 hours later for breakfast, and arrival is around 4 pm. So only a few hours to kill before bedtime.
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Old 01-29-2018, 12:23 PM   #14
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Default Re: I'm migrating

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"only"

I prefer flying KLM over Singapore Airlines because of the departure time, SG departs 11 am, so by the time I arrive its the time my body thinks its bedtime, yet with the time difference the day there just starts (landing between 6 and 7 am). KLM departs 9 pm, so watch a movie, have dinner, pop a sleeping pill and wake up 8 hours later for breakfast, and arrival is around 4 pm. So only a few hours to kill before bedtime.
The US flights seem to get there around 3 AM or some equally awful hour. There are no direct flights from the US.
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Old 01-29-2018, 01:15 PM   #15
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Life's an adventure and you're off on a new one my friend. If it's a custody of a minor thing, it doesn't have to be a finite situation anyway. Who knows if you'll settle there in the long run or not. Embrace the present and remember being together is what matters.
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Old 01-29-2018, 01:49 PM   #16
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Default Re: I'm migrating

I'd love to work in Singapore except for they really work you there! Not like working in other parts of Asia or US.
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Old 01-30-2018, 09:29 AM   #17
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Default Re: I'm migrating

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Originally Posted by mosesbotbol View Post
I'd love to work in Singapore except for they really work you there! Not like working in other parts of Asia or US.
44 hours a week is normal, and 2 weeks of paid vacation where I come from a 40 hours max and 5 weeks of paid vacation.

I'm probably starting my own business there, working from home, on my own pac
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Old 02-09-2018, 11:10 AM   #18
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Hang in there. Everything will work out in the end.
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Old 01-29-2018, 06:57 PM   #19
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Default Re: I'm migrating

Wow! I thought I replied to this thread the other day, but the post I thought I had posted is not here. Either I am losing my mind or...

OK, no comments.

Anyway, here is what I had said (sort of, I think I said it better the other day).

When you take a vow "to love," you are not promising to have a "feeling" in your heart toward the other.

"To Love" is to do for another what brings them benefit, even at the expense of, or the sacrifice of self. It is obvious that you have chosen "to love" her and her daughter, and that is exemplary.

I will keep you in my prayers, as this is never easy.

And, I thank you for showing us how what it means "to love" and how that sacrifice works.

Peace of the Lord be with you.
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