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Old 12-06-2018, 08:33 AM   #1
Steve
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Default Christmas Groaners

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true, Comet cleans sinks

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer)

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claws!

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel had said,"No L!"

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey, - he is always stuffed.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
Clerk: "What denomination?"
Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.
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Old 12-06-2018, 09:22 AM   #2
Tio Gato
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Default Re: Christmas Groaners

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Old 12-06-2018, 09:48 AM   #3
BigAsh
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Default Re: Christmas Groaners

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer)



this one took me a bit....
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Old 12-06-2018, 11:39 AM   #4
CigarNut
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Default Re: Christmas Groaners

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigAsh View Post
How many reindeer does Santa Have???
10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer)



this one took me a bit....
Me too
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Old 12-06-2018, 03:06 PM   #5
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Default Re: Christmas Groaners

how do you catch a polar bear? cut a hole in the ice. put frozen peas around the hole. and when the polar bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
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