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Old 11-06-2010, 07:56 PM   #1
macms
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Default Some thoughts

If you’re camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.



I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.



Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself 'fat chance with a face like that!'



I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'


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Old 11-06-2010, 08:09 PM   #2
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Old 11-06-2010, 08:31 PM   #3
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Old 11-06-2010, 08:31 PM   #4
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Fred, you low-rent ****!
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Old 11-06-2010, 08:36 PM   #5
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Love 'em!!
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Old 11-06-2010, 08:38 PM   #6
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Thanks for the smiles, Fred... glad to see you posting!
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Old 11-06-2010, 08:39 PM   #7
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Welcome Back, Sweetie!!
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Old 11-06-2010, 11:28 PM   #8
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Just about ended up dribbling beer over the keyboard.
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Old 11-06-2010, 11:32 PM   #9
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeobx View Post
Just about ended up dribbling beer over the keyboard.
don't let that happen that would be alcohol abuse
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Old 11-06-2010, 11:34 PM   #10
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Old 11-07-2010, 09:48 AM   #11
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Old 11-07-2010, 09:51 AM   #12
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Funny
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Old 11-07-2010, 01:27 PM   #13
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Old 11-07-2010, 01:35 PM   #14
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Its so good to see you posting again my friend.
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Old 11-07-2010, 01:54 PM   #15
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Default Re: Some thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
Fred, you low-rent ****!
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Old 11-07-2010, 01:59 PM   #16
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Default Re: Some thoughts

I laughed, Thank you.
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