Signs That You are Too Drunk

CBI_2 · 09-06-2010, 09:40 PM

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job is interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor..

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in..

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

I'm as sober as a judge.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

kelmac07 · 09-07-2010, 04:14 PM

Good ones!!

The Poet · 09-07-2010, 04:26 PM

James Joyce invented a great word (amongst others) in Finnegan's Wake, which leads to:

You always speak alcoherently.

09-06-2010, 09:40 PM	#1
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Signs That You are Too Drunk You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not! Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem! You can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. You fall off the floor.. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you. At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..' Your idea of cutting back is less salt. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in.. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men]. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive. Roseanne looks good. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass. That damned pink elephant followed me home again. I'm as sober as a judge. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering. __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

09-07-2010, 04:14 PM	#2
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Signs That You are Too Drunk Good ones!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

09-07-2010, 04:26 PM	#3
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: Signs That You are Too Drunk James Joyce invented a great word (amongst others) in Finnegan's Wake, which leads to: You always speak alcoherently.