Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake

Ogre · 12-16-2012, 07:28 AM

1 C Water
1 C Sugar
4 Large eggs
3 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C Brown sugar
Lemon juice, nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer.
Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the burner.
If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters,
pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway???

big_jaygee · 12-16-2012, 08:13 AM

hahaha

i agree whiskey is always better then fruit cake

Brlesq · 12-16-2012, 03:14 PM

Larry is a regular Julia Childs!

forgop · 12-17-2012, 01:01 AM

I have a recipe for tequila cake that's pretty close to this one.

Blak Smyth · 12-17-2012, 06:03 AM

Proper way to make fruit cake:

Step one: Don't
Step two: Whiskey

STEVE S · 12-17-2012, 06:35 AM

That fruit cake sames like alot of work. May you need two bottles of whiskey.

12-16-2012, 07:28 AM	#1
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake 1 C Water 1 C Sugar 4 Large eggs 3 C dried fruit 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 1 C Brown sugar Lemon juice, nuts 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take out a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the burner. If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway??? __________________

12-16-2012, 08:13 AM	#2
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake hahaha i agree whiskey is always better then fruit cake

12-16-2012, 03:14 PM	#3
Brlesq Carpe cigar! Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Bruce Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,015 Trading: (17)	Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake Larry is a regular Julia Childs! __________________ Hey! How come "Habana" is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?

12-17-2012, 01:01 AM	#4
forgop Not a puffer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Duane Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 2,869 Trading: (40)	Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake I have a recipe for tequila cake that's pretty close to this one.

12-17-2012, 06:03 AM	#5
Blak Smyth Think Blue! Join Date: Jun 2011 First Name: SD Location: THE WOOD Posts: 8,486 Trading: (52)	Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake Proper way to make fruit cake: Step one: Don't Step two: Whiskey __________________ SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

12-17-2012, 06:35 AM	#6
STEVE S Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Steve Location: Coconut Creek, Fl. Posts: 1,092 Trading: (1)	Re: Proper Way To Make A Fruit Cake That fruit cake sames like alot of work. May you need two bottles of whiskey. __________________ Smoking cigars is a hobby and a great way to pass the time of day!