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Old 10-23-2008, 11:07 AM   #61
St. Lou Stu
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Never tell the new chic in HR she has a nice rack.
Even if it is true.
Trust me.
I know.
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:20 PM   #62
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by replicant_argent View Post
and for those that don't


PROPER PLANNING PREVENTS PISS POOR PERFORMANCE

Wait, that is 6... I must have missed one....

My poli sci teacher in college said it was the 5 P's

Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:21 PM   #63
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Everything is negotiable- My dad drilled that one in my head.
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:50 PM   #64
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

And the wife doesn't like it, but my idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:55 PM   #65
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by kaisersozei View Post
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

OMG... this is brilliant... I may have to put it on a T-Shirt and give it to a couple of people.
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Old 10-23-2008, 01:27 PM   #66
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Receive any cigar happily. It may be all the person can do at the time.

Call your parents, even if you don't want to. Someday you'll want to, and remember you can't.
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:34 PM   #67
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When a child, never sniff a magnet just to see what it smells like. Don't ask

My Grandfather used to say "Do you know where sympathy falls in the dictionary, between $h*# and syphills, and I got none of 'em for ya"

And mom's wisdom, "A failure to plan on your part doesn't make it a crisis for me"

Last edited by :eevis; 10-23-2008 at 02:36 PM.
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:40 PM   #68
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Sage wisdom right there!


Quote:
Originally Posted by smokeyscotch View Post
Call your parents, even if you don't want to. Someday you'll want to, and remember you can't.
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:44 PM   #69
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by :eevis View Post

And mom's wisdom, "A failure to plan on your part doesn't make it a crisis for me"
Moms know stuff.


It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

Don't pizz down my back and tell me it's raining.
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:47 PM   #70
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

The glass is ALWAYS half full.
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:49 PM   #71
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Think of the guy of average intelligence. Then realize that half the people in the world are stupider than that guy.
-George Carlin
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:50 PM   #72
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by pnoon View Post
The glass is ALWAYS half full.
It's not so much half full or half empty as it is the wrong size glass
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Old 10-23-2008, 02:58 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smokeyscotch View Post
........

Call your parents, even if you don't want to. Someday you'll want to, and remember you can't.
That is awesome Tim.


Here's one. My young son sends a text to his older brother that says "say something profound I need a Sr. quote". Reply, "If it's everywhere it's not herpes".

You gotta love older brothers.
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Old 10-23-2008, 03:10 PM   #74
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Always do sober, what you said you were going to do when you were drunk!
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Old 10-23-2008, 04:50 PM   #75
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One man gathers, what another man spills.

Sometimes the cards ain't worth a dime, if you don't lay 'em down.
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:02 PM   #76
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can never pick your friends nose.
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:06 PM   #77
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:25 PM   #78
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Don't s*** where you eat.
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:32 PM   #79
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Don’t puke on my tortilla chips and tell me it’s salsa.
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Old 10-23-2008, 05:33 PM   #80
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

It's better to look stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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