New Years Resolutions You Can Keep

Steve · 01-04-2012, 02:22 PM

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never
keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish?

Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
~ Stop exercising. Waste of time.
~ Read less. Makes you think.
~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web.
~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.
~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more.
~ Don't have eight children at once.
~ Get in a whole NEW rut!
~ Start being superstitious.
~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco.
~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.
~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace.
~ Create loose ends.
~ Get more toys.
~ Get further in debt.
~ Don't believe politicians.
~ Break at least one traffic law.
~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.
~ Wait for opportunity to knock.
~ Focus on the faults of others.
~ Mope about faults.
~ Never make New Year's resolutions again.

kelmac07 · 01-04-2012, 04:24 PM

Don't forget....

~ Smoke more cigars

Taki · 01-04-2012, 04:35 PM

hahaha...very nice list brother, especially love the "Never Make New Years Resolutions Again"

krash · 01-04-2012, 04:41 PM

I've kept most of these so far, and I actuallly live near the largest ball of twine.

Ogre · 01-04-2012, 08:12 PM

I have done some of that list already!!!!

mase · 01-04-2012, 08:14 PM

Bill86 · 01-04-2012, 08:52 PM

-Drink a few adult beverages
-Accomplish nothing more than you did last year

Add those

01-11-2012, 08:23 AM

01-04-2012, 02:22 PM	#1
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	New Years Resolutions You Can Keep Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point: ~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds. ~ Stop exercising. Waste of time. ~ Read less. Makes you think. ~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. ~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow. ~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web. ~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine. ~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did. ~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more. ~ Don't have eight children at once. ~ Get in a whole NEW rut! ~ Start being superstitious. ~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco. ~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words. ~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. ~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace. ~ Create loose ends. ~ Get more toys. ~ Get further in debt. ~ Don't believe politicians. ~ Break at least one traffic law. ~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice. ~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks. ~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them. ~ Wait for opportunity to knock. ~ Focus on the faults of others. ~ Mope about faults. ~ Never make New Year's resolutions again. __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

01-04-2012, 04:24 PM	#2
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep Don't forget.... ~ Smoke more cigars __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

01-04-2012, 04:35 PM	#3
Taki Welcome to the Layer Cake Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Taki Location: The Creek Posts: 2,271 Trading: (38)	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep hahaha...very nice list brother, especially love the "Never Make New Years Resolutions Again" __________________

01-04-2012, 04:41 PM	#4
krash Just in from the Storm Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bob Location: Central MN Posts: 40 Trading: (3)	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep I've kept most of these so far, and I actuallly live near the largest ball of twine.

01-04-2012, 08:12 PM	#5
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep I have done some of that list already!!!! __________________

01-04-2012, 08:14 PM	#6
mase Undead Recruiter Join Date: Sep 2011 First Name: Kevin Location: The city that works....against you Posts: 845 Trading: (9)	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep __________________

01-04-2012, 08:52 PM	#7
Bill86 Snob Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Bill Posts: 6,704 Trading: (67)	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep -Drink a few adult beverages -Accomplish nothing more than you did last year Add those __________________ I'm drunk......but I'll get drunker! - Doug Stanhope

01-11-2012, 08:23 AM	#8
LigaPrivadaT84 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: New Years Resolutions You Can Keep