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Old 01-11-2013, 06:12 AM   #1
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Default Frying Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use thesalt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!"
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:18 AM   #2
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

Well if you ever want to sleep on your couch this joke should work LOL
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:31 AM   #3
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

OMG that is sooooo true!
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:34 AM   #4
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:36 AM   #5
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

Good stuff!
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:46 AM   #6
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:48 AM   #7
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

I can relate to that
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:52 AM   #8
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondo 287 View Post
Well if you ever want to sleep on your couch this joke should work LOL
Good thing Im not married.
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:18 AM   #9
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:14 AM   #10
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:18 PM   #11
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

Funny, yet true!!!!
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:51 PM   #12
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

haha.
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:59 PM   #13
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Default Re: Frying Eggs

Guess I'm lucky my lady loves how I drive! Now, how I leave the toilet seaf up? Whole different ballpark :-D
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:58 PM   #14
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Old 01-11-2013, 08:05 PM   #15
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