That's Awful!

CBI_2 · 03-24-2009, 08:44 PM

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place...."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quavering voice,” Thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom.” The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."

MedicCook · 03-24-2009, 08:48 PM

Prospector · 03-24-2009, 08:50 PM

Now that is funny!

md4958 · 03-24-2009, 08:53 PM

karmaz00 · 03-24-2009, 11:44 PM

lol good one

WildBlueSooner · 03-25-2009, 05:30 AM

haha nice!

03-25-2009, 07:52 PM

Once again Paul you slay me!

03-25-2009, 08:32 PM

Thanks for the laugh.

SmokeyJoe · 03-25-2009, 09:51 PM

You would be surprised how often something like this occurs...

The most common is probably people who use the word "colostomy" when they mean "colonoscopy."

G G · 03-27-2009, 06:48 AM

That's a good one Paul.

Mugen910 · 03-27-2009, 06:50 AM

Oh chit that is funny!

tunes · 03-27-2009, 07:50 AM

Thanks for the early morning giggle!

03-24-2009, 08:44 PM	#1
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	That's Awful! The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place...." Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quavering voice,” Thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom.” The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum." __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

03-24-2009, 08:48 PM	#2
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: That's Awful!

03-24-2009, 08:50 PM	#3
Prospector I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Mike Location: Arizona's beautiful Verde Valley Posts: 2,500 Trading: (11)	Re: That's Awful! Now *that* is funny!

03-24-2009, 08:53 PM	#4
md4958 Captain Cannoli Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Moe Location: Suffield, CT Posts: 5,712 Trading: (62)	Re: That's Awful! __________________ "One fart can foul the air for everyone" - Esteemed philosopher "If avoiding the nasty $hit is being a snob, them I am guilty as charged."- Same esteemed philosopher.

03-24-2009, 11:44 PM	#5
karmaz00 Habanos Join Date: Dec 2008 First Name: Jason Location: victoria Posts: 1,855 Trading: (1)	Re: That's Awful! lol good one __________________ Habanos Collector Since 2003

03-25-2009, 05:30 AM	#6
WildBlueSooner I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: James Location: Lexington, KY Posts: 3,322 Trading: (19)	Re: That's Awful! haha nice! __________________ "To dilute the will to win is to destroy the purpose of the game. There is no substitute for victory"-- Douglas MacArthur

03-25-2009, 07:52 PM	#7
jamesb3 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: That's Awful! Once again Paul you slay me!

03-25-2009, 08:32 PM	#8
TheJ Guest Posts: n/a	Re: That's Awful! Thanks for the laugh.

03-25-2009, 09:51 PM	#9
SmokeyJoe Chief Wannastogie Lounge Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Joe Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 3,160 Trading: (28)	Re: That's Awful! You would be surprised how often something like this occurs... The most common is probably people who use the word "colostomy" when they mean "colonoscopy." __________________ "I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God..." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, British Baptist preacher

03-27-2009, 06:48 AM	#10
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,701 Trading: (10)	Re: That's Awful! That's a good one Paul.

03-27-2009, 06:50 AM	#11
Mugen910 I <3 Huy Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Location Location: First Name Posts: 8,387 Trading: (106)	Re: That's Awful! Oh chit that is funny! __________________ I'm not antisocial, I just think people are stupid.

03-27-2009, 07:50 AM	#12
tunes Still Watching My Back Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Bruce Location: East of the Mississippi Posts: 220 Trading: (3)	Re: That's Awful! Thanks for the early morning giggle! __________________ What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?