recent trip to costco

SNKBYT · 01-28-2010, 06:30 AM

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

landhoney · 01-28-2010, 09:12 AM

Very funny.

MedicCook · 01-28-2010, 09:15 AM

longknocker · 01-28-2010, 09:30 AM

Good One, Alex!

CasaDooley · 01-28-2010, 11:03 AM

Coach Deg · 01-28-2010, 11:06 AM

Thats great!!!

ade06 · 01-28-2010, 11:12 AM

LOL!!!!!!!

Dooge · 01-28-2010, 11:19 AM

oh that is awesome.

G G · 01-28-2010, 11:30 AM

Very funny one Alex.

14holestogie · 01-28-2010, 02:19 PM

kelmac07 · 01-28-2010, 05:16 PM

CBI_2 · 01-28-2010, 06:58 PM

01-28-2010, 07:40 PM

Classic! Wait til you try it with a gravy blend,,,,I'm retired as well and you're right. When you have as much time on your hands as we do stories come at the drop of a hat. Well done Sir!

Fishbeadtwo · 01-28-2010, 07:56 PM

Was the Irish Setter cute?

issues · 01-28-2010, 09:06 PM

Ok I have to admit, that was pretty good!

01-28-2010, 06:30 AM	#1
SNKBYT PATRIOT and VETERAN Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Alex Location: TOMBSTONE, AZ Posts: 3,282 Trading: (30)	recent trip to costco Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. __________________ "IF YOU WANT TO TAKE MY FREEDOM, MAKE DAMN SURE THAT YOU'RE AS PASSSIONATE ABOUT TAKING IT AS I AM ABOUT KEEPING IT"

01-28-2010, 09:12 AM	#2
landhoney Mr. Charisma Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Seth Location: In the forest Posts: 2,639 Trading: (32)	Re: recent trip to costco Very funny.

01-28-2010, 09:15 AM	#3
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: recent trip to costco __________________ 27 World Series Championship's "If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff

01-28-2010, 09:30 AM	#4
longknocker Postwhore Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Mobile, Alabama Posts: 11,114 Trading: (82)	Re: recent trip to costco Good One, Alex!

01-28-2010, 11:03 AM	#5
CasaDooley Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day Posts: 2,465 Trading: (41)	Re: recent trip to costco __________________ *Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers*

01-28-2010, 11:06 AM	#6
Coach Deg C O W eieio. Join Date: May 2009 First Name: Mike Location: Hudson, FL Posts: 2,853 Trading: (59)	Re: recent trip to costco Thats great!!!

01-28-2010, 11:12 AM	#7
ade06 Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ade Location: Philadelphia Posts: 1,190 Trading: (24)	Re: recent trip to costco LOL!!!!!!!

01-28-2010, 11:19 AM	#8
Dooge I drink with awsmith4! Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 659 Trading: (4)	Re: recent trip to costco oh that is awesome.

01-28-2010, 11:30 AM	#9
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,701 Trading: (10)	Re: recent trip to costco Very funny one Alex.

01-28-2010, 02:19 PM	#10
14holestogie Serial banter killer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tim Location: Clintonville, WI Posts: 4,341 Trading: (52)	Re: recent trip to costco __________________ *I loves me a Parti*

01-28-2010, 05:16 PM	#11
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: recent trip to costco __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

01-28-2010, 06:58 PM	#12
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Re: recent trip to costco __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

01-28-2010, 07:40 PM	#13
Cigary Guest Posts: n/a	Re: recent trip to costco Classic! Wait til you try it with a gravy blend,,,,I'm retired as well and you're right. When you have as much time on your hands as we do stories come at the drop of a hat. Well done Sir!

01-28-2010, 07:56 PM	#14
Fishbeadtwo Another nut j0b Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Charlie Location: Washington, the state Posts: 1,175 Trading: (9)	Re: recent trip to costco Was the Irish Setter cute? __________________ This white coat is a little tight...?

01-28-2010, 09:06 PM	#15
issues Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Tony Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,626 Trading: (8)	Re: recent trip to costco Ok I have to admit, that was pretty good!