Why I fired my Secretary

SNKBYT · 03-19-2010, 04:52 PM

It was my birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant
and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to
breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way Happy Birthday! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go!"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded,
"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment,
I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids,
and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy
Birthday.

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked.

Starscream · 03-19-2010, 07:26 PM

G G · 03-19-2010, 07:29 PM

uhoh, busted.

MedicCook · 03-19-2010, 09:51 PM

03-19-2010, 11:18 PM

F'in hilarious!

Old Sailor · 03-19-2010, 11:25 PM

SmoknTaz · 03-21-2010, 04:58 PM

kelmac07 · 03-21-2010, 05:24 PM

DOH!!

RightAJ · 03-21-2010, 05:37 PM

Classic!

aj

Skywalker · 03-21-2010, 08:52 PM

That happened to me last year!!!

03-19-2010, 04:52 PM	#1
SNKBYT PATRIOT and VETERAN Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Alex Location: TOMBSTONE, AZ Posts: 3,282 Trading: (30)	Why I fired my Secretary It was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment, I'll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday. And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked. __________________ "IF YOU WANT TO TAKE MY FREEDOM, MAKE DAMN SURE THAT YOU'RE AS PASSSIONATE ABOUT TAKING IT AS I AM ABOUT KEEPING IT"

03-19-2010, 07:26 PM	#2
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary __________________ Insert quote here.

03-19-2010, 07:29 PM	#3
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,701 Trading: (10)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary uhoh, busted.

03-19-2010, 09:51 PM	#4
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary __________________ 27 World Series Championship's "If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff

03-19-2010, 11:18 PM	#5
Christoff Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Why I fired my Secretary F'in hilarious!

03-19-2010, 11:25 PM	#6
Old Sailor Black Ops - S.O.B. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dave Location: Side Porta!! Kingsville, Ont., Canada Posts: 4,165 Trading: (22)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary __________________ Canadian Armed Forces 1976! Canadian Coast Guard, retired in 2012 after 32 years!!

03-21-2010, 04:58 PM	#7
SmoknTaz Hiding my Visa bill Join Date: Dec 2008 First Name: Ken Location: Metro Vancouver Posts: 324 Trading: (6)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary __________________ Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. (A life sentence!)

03-21-2010, 05:24 PM	#8
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary DOH!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

03-21-2010, 05:37 PM	#9
RightAJ Here Franky Franky Join Date: Oct 2009 First Name: aj Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 915 Trading: (3)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary Classic! aj __________________ My Blog-> ajstogies.blogspot.com Beer Blog->thehopscribe.blogspot.com

03-21-2010, 08:52 PM	#10
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Why I fired my Secretary That happened to me last year!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!