Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-09-2020, 10:42 AM   #1
Ashcan Bill
Ol' Dude
 
Ashcan Bill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Bill
Location: Henderson, NV
Posts: 1,889
Trading: (6)
Partagas
Ashcan Bill has disabled reputation
Default The Monks

So, there were these monks in England, living in their monastery. They were a little behind on the payments, so they prayed and had a meeting to decide how best to go forward and try to keep their monastery. They made a decision to open a flower shop. Things were going swell for a while, until the town florist came to visit.

He said, "I'm glad you're trying your hand at business, but it's really causing a problem with my shop. Many of my regular customers are coming to you now, and it's really putting a damper on my business. Could you perhaps, please, find a different endeavor to engage in?"

The holy men, after brief consultation with each other, replied to the man, "We're sorry but we cannot help you. This business venture is working out very well, and we are not going to interrupt our arrangements."

A couple of weeks goes by, the man from the town flower shop is getting desperate because of the negative impact the monks' flower shop is having on his business. At last, he sends his elderly mother to try to reason with the monks.

"Please stop hurting my son's business, he is having a hard time right now and you're taking business from him. Please, do something else."
The monks tell her to basically get lost. They are making good money, it's helping them catch up on their payments, and they are very pleased with the results.

When the man finds out from his mother that they wouldn't listen to her, he has had it. In anger, he heads over to an Irish pub. He locates a bloke named Hugh MacTaggart, who stands about 6 feet 6 inches tall, weighs 300 pounds, all muscle, and who looks like the meanest guy in the place. The flower shop owner buys him a drink, tells him about the little "problem" he has, makes a deal, and puts MacTaggart on the payroll.

The next day, the giant of a man goes to the monastery, goes nuts, trashes the flower shop, beats the monks within an inch of their lives, and threatens to come back and finish the job if they ever dare to re-open again.

And....
The moral of the story?

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
Ashcan Bill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2020, 11:30 AM   #2
Brlesq
Carpe cigar!
 
Brlesq's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Bruce
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,014
Trading: (17)
Montecristo
Brlesq will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The Monks

Wow. Now my head hurts. Ba-dum-bump-ding!
__________________
Hey! How come "Habana" is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?
Brlesq is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2020, 12:29 PM   #3
Steve
Dad Jokester Supreme
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: 17 R 435648 3354895
Posts: 7,715
Trading: (6)
HdM
Steve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud of
Default Re: The Monks

"Steve" joke?

__________________
...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2020, 12:46 PM   #4
Brian D.
Have My Own Room
 
Brian D.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Brian
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 1,565
Trading: (1)
Brian D. is a glorious beacon of lightBrian D. is a glorious beacon of lightBrian D. is a glorious beacon of lightBrian D. is a glorious beacon of lightBrian D. is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: The Monks

That was a funny joke 45 years ago; and since I'd forgotten all about it, funny now.
__________________
Any gathering that includes Elderboy02 is "NKA"--
--No Ketchup Allowed.
Brian D. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2020, 01:17 PM   #5
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 70,447
Trading: (61)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Monks

__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.