Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... - Page 2

e-man67 · 09-29-2010, 11:28 AM

I did let her know before I bought it and she seemed cool with it. I talked about building a walk-in (for me) and a wine celler (for her) for awhile...then I found this cabinet that I could not pass up. She knows me..I always go ape **** with hobbies..but most of those were always in the garage (motorcycles, cars). Not rubbing her nose in it (at least not intentionally).

HK3- · 09-29-2010, 11:31 AM

Give it time. It will pass.

357 · 09-29-2010, 11:38 AM

If health concerns are her biggest thing, there are a ton of arguments that can be made in your favor. Statistically speaking the most dangerous thing we each do on a daily basis is get into our car and drive to/from work.

Yet it almost sounds like, to her, there is some sort of stigma attached to being a smoker (cigar or otherwise). Has she been to any herfs? It might change her view on cigar smokers and any stereotypes she can't shake. I believe most non-smokers would be surprised and impressed by the group of guys/gals who frequent our herfs. It is a great bunch from all walks of life.

My mom and step-dad were pretty taken aback when they found out I smoked cigars. Neither liked it and my mom felt very strange the first time she saw me smoke. Since then I have convinced my step-dad to come with me to a local B&M with a lounge and try a cigar. He now looks forward to those times we can sit, relax, smoke, and talk. He doesn't smoke on his own, or own any cigars/paraphernalia, but he looks forward to that opportunity. Heck, recently my mom told me he was telling my great uncle how cigars have brought he and I closer.

neoflex · 09-29-2010, 11:39 AM

Well in that case it sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If in your shoes I would probably just roll with it and wait for it to blow over. Woman are fickle creatures so we might as well not even try to understand how their minds work. Good luck. Hope it blows over sooner rather than later.

357 · 09-29-2010, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by neoflex

Well in that case it sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If in your shoes I would probably just roll with it and wait for it to blow over. Woman are fickle creatures so we might as well not even try to understand how their minds work. Good luck. Hope it blows over sooner rather than later.

Good advice. Probably the best course of action for the short term. Buy her some flowers too.

e-man67 · 09-29-2010, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 357

Has she been to any herfs? It might change her view on cigar smokers and any stereotypes she can't shake. I believe most non-smokers would be surprised and impressed by the group of guys/gals who frequent our herfs. It is a great bunch from all walks of life.

No she hasn't been to any Herfs...the only one she has met that I smoke with mostly is Dan and you know what a jerk he is...

elderboy02 · 09-29-2010, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e-man67

No she hasn't been to any Herfs...the only one she has met that I smoke with mostly is Dan and you know what a jerk he is...

I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not

Brutus2600 · 09-29-2010, 12:43 PM

In all honesty it sounds like she was having a bad day. If you've been smoking cigars for 20 years, you smoke them at home (like...not exclusively at your B&M or something), you have two smaller display humis, and you included her in on the knowledge of this purchase, I think she just is unhappy about something else then. Maybe a bad day at work? Anyway, what John and Mike said are definitely true...letting the issue lie for a couple days, flowers, all that jazz...either she'll come around to it or if it truly is a big issue, then you guys can talk about it after it's had a few days to marinate and settle down.

Edit: Just re-read the above post. Just wanted to add that maybe she sees this as you ignoring her hobby (wine) and going with your cabinet instead of her wine storage? Maybe instead of flowers you could start seeing what she wants to do for wine storage, whether you build an actual room for it or build in some nice shelving in the basement next to the bar *shrug* Just an idea

e-man67 · 09-29-2010, 12:46 PM

Hopefully she gets over it soon...I have many packages coming.

elderboy02 · 09-29-2010, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e-man67

Hopefully she gets over it soon...I have many packages coming.

Maybe you should have them sent to me and I will sneak them in the basement when your wifey isn't looking

jdakine · 09-29-2010, 01:01 PM

This would a great time to start on that wine celler for her that you mentioned. it may be after the fact, however it stills goes a long way with smoothing things out and making her happy

Happy wife is a happy life

Mugen910 · 09-29-2010, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elderboy02

I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not

just tell him you've been called worse by better...that's what I usually retort with.

357 · 09-29-2010, 01:13 PM

His & hers Vinos? One for wine one for cigars?

elderboy02 · 09-29-2010, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e-man67

No she hasn't been to any Herfs...the only one she has met that I smoke with mostly is Dan and you know what a jerk he is...

I've been called worse by better

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mugen910

just tell him you've been called worse by better...that's what I usually retort with.

Thanks Mr. Bao!

09-29-2010, 11:28 AM	#21
e-man67 Big Drunkin Monkey!! Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: Eric Posts: 1,480 Trading: (29)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... I did let her know before I bought it and she seemed cool with it. I talked about building a walk-in (for me) and a wine celler (for her) for awhile...then I found this cabinet that I could not pass up. She knows me..I always go ape **** with hobbies..but most of those were always in the garage (motorcycles, cars). Not rubbing her nose in it (at least not intentionally). __________________ Big hairy Ape chuggin whiskey by the barrel full..making ladies cry!

09-29-2010, 11:31 AM	#22
HK3- Cashmere Jungle Lord Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Boffa Location: The town so nice they named it twice Posts: 5,035 Trading: (48)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... Give it time. It will pass.

09-29-2010, 11:38 AM	#23
357 Will herf for food Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mike Location: Home is where I park it Posts: 4,075 Trading: (9)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... If health concerns are her biggest thing, there are a ton of arguments that can be made in your favor. Statistically speaking the most dangerous thing we each do on a daily basis is get into our car and drive to/from work. Yet it almost sounds like, to her, there is some sort of stigma attached to being a smoker (cigar or otherwise). Has she been to any herfs? It might change her view on cigar smokers and any stereotypes she can't shake. I believe most non-smokers would be surprised and impressed by the group of guys/gals who frequent our herfs. It is a great bunch from all walks of life. My mom and step-dad were pretty taken aback when they found out I smoked cigars. Neither liked it and my mom felt very strange the first time she saw me smoke. Since then I have convinced my step-dad to come with me to a local B&M with a lounge and try a cigar. He now looks forward to those times we can sit, relax, smoke, and talk. He doesn't smoke on his own, or own any cigars/paraphernalia, but he looks forward to that opportunity. Heck, recently my mom told me he was telling my great uncle how cigars have brought he and I closer. __________________ “Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar;” Mark Twain

09-29-2010, 11:39 AM	#24
neoflex I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Nov 2008 First Name: John Location: Monroe, NC Posts: 2,765 Trading: (32)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... Well in that case it sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. If in your shoes I would probably just roll with it and wait for it to blow over. Woman are fickle creatures so we might as well not even try to understand how their minds work. Good luck. Hope it blows over sooner rather than later. __________________

09-29-2010, 12:43 PM	#28
Brutus2600 Your resident lancerHO Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Brian Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 2,063 Trading: (46)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... In all honesty it sounds like she was having a bad day. If you've been smoking cigars for 20 years, you smoke them at home (like...not exclusively at your B&M or something), you have two smaller display humis, and you included her in on the knowledge of this purchase, I think she just is unhappy about something else then. Maybe a bad day at work? Anyway, what John and Mike said are definitely true...letting the issue lie for a couple days, flowers, all that jazz...either she'll come around to it or if it truly is a big issue, then you guys can talk about it after it's had a few days to marinate and settle down. Edit: Just re-read the above post. Just wanted to add that maybe she sees this as you ignoring her hobby (wine) and going with your cabinet instead of her wine storage? Maybe instead of flowers you could start seeing what she wants to do for wine storage, whether you build an actual room for it or build in some nice shelving in the basement next to the bar shrug Just an idea

09-29-2010, 12:46 PM	#29
e-man67 Big Drunkin Monkey!! Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: Eric Posts: 1,480 Trading: (29)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... Hopefully she gets over it soon...I have many packages coming. __________________ Big hairy Ape chuggin whiskey by the barrel full..making ladies cry!

09-29-2010, 01:01 PM	#31
jdakine Sawadee Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Jay Location: Republic of Maui Posts: 2,481 Trading: (34)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... This would a great time to start on that wine celler for her that you mentioned. it may be after the fact, however it stills goes a long way with smoothing things out and making her happy Happy wife is a happy life __________________ Live your life to the fullist and smoke your favorate cigars

09-29-2010, 01:13 PM	#33
357 Will herf for food Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mike Location: Home is where I park it Posts: 4,075 Trading: (9)	Re: Should I feel bad? mixed emotions... His & hers Vinos? One for wine one for cigars? __________________ “Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar;” Mark Twain