Cooking for large groups

markem · 04-05-2011, 03:31 PM

I'm putting this in the jokes section, but some may find the information quite useful

Cooking For Large Groups

As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people:

* Nobody likes to be left out, so before you entertain outdoors, make sure to contact all your neighbors and tell them a big flood’s coming and the neighborhood is being evacuated
* Hail a passing taco truck
* Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don't give a **** about your guests
* Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws
* Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner
* Because of their religious beliefs, some guests may not eat certain foods; be sure to call them beforehand and remind them God does not exist
* Most pies are apple
* Only let the first five guests who show up eat
* Make the food taste real good; people like that
* Why not try crumbling a few bowel-suppressant caplets into the meal so that those monsters don't clog up your toiletthis time?
* Choose one color of food and stick with it

http://www.theonion.com/articles/coo...-groups,19883/

Skywalker · 04-05-2011, 03:34 PM

* Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don't give a **** about your guests

N2 GOLD · 04-05-2011, 04:04 PM

* Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws
* Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner

This two have "GOOD TIMES" written all over it...

04-05-2011, 03:31 PM	#1
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,530 Trading: (47)	Cooking for large groups I'm putting this in the jokes section, but some may find the information quite useful Cooking For Large Groups As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people: * Nobody likes to be left out, so before you entertain outdoors, make sure to contact all your neighbors and tell them a big flood’s coming and the neighborhood is being evacuated * Hail a passing taco truck * Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don't give a **** about your guests * Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws * Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner * Because of their religious beliefs, some guests may not eat certain foods; be sure to call them beforehand and remind them God does not exist * Most pies are apple * Only let the first five guests who show up eat * Make the food taste real good; people like that * Why not try crumbling a few bowel-suppressant caplets into the meal so that those monsters don't clog up your toiletthis time? * Choose one color of food and stick with it http://www.theonion.com/articles/coo...-groups,19883/ __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

04-05-2011, 03:34 PM	#2
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Cooking for large groups * Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don't give a ** about your guests __________________ Smoke what you like!!!**

04-05-2011, 04:04 PM	#3
N2 GOLD MIND OVER MATTER... Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: RICO Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W Posts: 2,330 Trading: (1)	Re: Cooking for large groups * Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws * Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner This two have "GOOD TIMES" written all over it... __________________ When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.