Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-12-2014, 06:14 AM   #1
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Saving

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hades.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the
underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two
hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'

God just shrugged and said...

JESUS SAVES
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 06:39 AM   #2
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Saving



Yes HE does
big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 07:05 AM   #3
equetefue
Liga Privada Hoarder
 
equetefue's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
First Name: Edwin
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,348
Trading: (17)
Partagas AirForce (Disabled Vet)
equetefue has a spectacular aura aboutequetefue has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Saving

hahahaha great way to start my morning !
__________________
equetefue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 07:56 AM   #4
Steve
Dad Jokester Supreme
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: 17 R 435648 3354895
Posts: 7,715
Trading: (6)
HdM
Steve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud of
Default Re: Saving



Nice!
__________________
...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 08:01 AM   #5
czerbe
Just a Traveling Man
 
czerbe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
First Name: Corey
Location: Reading Pa
Posts: 1,309
Trading: (2)
Partagas
czerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Saving

And there you have it!
__________________
Live fast, hard, everyday like its your last.
czerbe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 08:10 AM   #6
363
Infecting Via PM
 
363's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Brendon
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,773
Trading: (35)
RA
363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Saving

hahaha
__________________
Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns
363 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 08:12 AM   #7
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,038
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: Saving

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 10:09 AM   #8
STEVE S
Have My Own Room
 
STEVE S's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Steve
Location: Coconut Creek, Fl.
Posts: 1,092
Trading: (1)
STEVE S is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Saving

, And that pretty much says it all!!
__________________
Smoking cigars is a hobby and a great way to pass the time of day!
STEVE S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 10:11 AM   #9
Remo
C.I.A
 
Remo's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
First Name: Mike
Location: Palm Harbor, Florida
Posts: 12,597
Trading: (122)
Partagas
Remo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant futureRemo has a brilliant future
Default Re: Saving

Very funny
__________________
Remo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 10:59 AM   #10
dijit
Have My Own Room
 
dijit's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
First Name: Mike
Location: Brownsburg, Indiana
Posts: 2,186
Trading: (48)
Montecristo AirForce (Served With Honor)
dijit is just really nicedijit is just really nicedijit is just really nicedijit is just really nice
Default Re: Saving

Thanks I needed that!
__________________
Sporting goods raffle for a great cause. PM me for tickets.
dijit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 11:02 AM   #11
irratebass
EMPEROR TOMPKINS
 
irratebass's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
First Name: Mickey
Location: Mooresville, Indiana
Posts: 8,313
Trading: (48)
ERdM
irratebass is a splendid one to beholdirratebass is a splendid one to beholdirratebass is a splendid one to beholdirratebass is a splendid one to beholdirratebass is a splendid one to beholdirratebass is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Saving

Nice one Mac
__________________
http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/o/totoka.gif
irratebass is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2014, 12:14 PM   #12
Dave128
Sexy Dave
 
Dave128's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Dave
Location: Voorheesville, NY
Posts: 3,916
Trading: (4)
Dave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really nice
Default Re: Saving

Very nice, Mac!
__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
I "heart" Boobies and Beer!
Dave128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 04:06 PM   #13
Heavy_d
Feeling at Home
 
Heavy_d's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
First Name: Derek
Location: Eastern, KY
Posts: 878
Trading: (1)
Heavy_d will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Saving

Hahaha
__________________
"maybe it's like becoming one with the cigar. You lose yourself in it; everything fades away" -Raul Julia
Heavy_d is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-13-2014, 04:15 PM   #14
Blueface
Gramps 4x's
 
Blueface's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny
Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana
Posts: 8,774
Trading: (8)
Bolivar
Blueface has disabled reputation
Default Re: Saving

__________________
Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian
Blueface is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:36 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.