Joke - Page 2

Tenor CS · 03-23-2011, 06:39 PM

Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Fish.

emopunker2004 · 03-23-2011, 06:42 PM

TBone · 03-23-2011, 07:09 PM

Being this is the thread of bad jokes:

Two flies where sitting on the toilet arguing over stinky cheese when one got pissed off.

TBone · 03-23-2011, 07:11 PM

What's red and white and spins 100 mph?

A baby in a blender

What's green, red and white and spins 100 mph?

The same baby after 6 months...

Tikihut27 · 03-23-2011, 10:36 PM

There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße, und one was assaulted... peanut.

JaKaacH · 03-23-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenor CS

Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Fish.

Don't know why..but

76GTFan · 03-24-2011, 07:14 AM

How do you know when it is bedtime in the Jackson family?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

markem · 03-24-2011, 08:54 AM

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."

markem · 03-24-2011, 08:56 AM

It is a little-known fact that before becoming a singer, Bing Crosby ran a boarding school for boys in San Antonio, Texas. One of the boys who lived in the dorm was in the habit of taking off on Friday afternoons, going to Mexico, and getting drunk. But he kept his studies up during the week, and because his parents were wealthy and important trustees, the school took no action against him. However, one Friday afternoon he got together with a day student, and they both disappeared. The parents of the day student were concerned when their son didn't come home, so they called Bing Crosby to ask after him. Bing Crosby said, "Don't worry. Your son is soused with the boarder, down Mexico way."

Skywalker · 03-24-2011, 11:08 AM

Wow!

Some of these bad joke aren't too bad!

I'll quit while I'm a head!

357 · 03-24-2011, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 76GTFan

How do you know when it is bedtime in the Jackson family?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have boys underwear half off.

pektel · 03-24-2011, 11:44 AM

Did you hear that after Michael died, and since he's like 90% plastic, they were going to melt him down? They are going to recast him as Legos, so kids can play with him for a change.

pektel · 03-24-2011, 11:47 AM

N2 GOLD · 03-24-2011, 12:06 PM

Keep them comming....

03-23-2011, 06:39 PM	#21
Tenor CS Feeling Better! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Christian Location: Davenport, FL (near Orlando) Posts: 717 Trading: (2)	Re: Joke Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Fish. __________________ When the world itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies?

03-23-2011, 06:42 PM	#22
emopunker2004 Central Fla rollin Join Date: Jan 2011 First Name: Justin Location: Winter Springs, FL Posts: 6,171 Trading: (46)	Re: Joke __________________ Cigar Asylum: Where all are equal, unless you are from CA, then you are more equal.

03-23-2011, 07:09 PM	#23
TBone Equal opportunity Bomber Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Paul Location: Virginia Posts: 2,508 Trading: (25)	Re: Joke Being this is the thread of bad jokes: Two flies where sitting on the toilet arguing over stinky cheese when one got pissed off.

03-23-2011, 07:11 PM	#24
TBone Equal opportunity Bomber Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Paul Location: Virginia Posts: 2,508 Trading: (25)	Re: Joke What's red and white and spins 100 mph? A baby in a blender What's green, red and white and spins 100 mph? The same baby after 6 months...

03-23-2011, 10:36 PM	#25
Tikihut27 Learned to Love the Bomb Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 818 Trading: (3)	Re: Joke There were zwei peanuts, walking down the straße, und one was assaulted... peanut. __________________ I can no longer sit back and allow... the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

03-24-2011, 07:14 AM	#27
76GTFan Full Blown Section 8 Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 503 Trading: (9)	Re: Joke How do you know when it is bedtime in the Jackson family? When the big hand touches the little hand.

03-24-2011, 08:54 AM	#28
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,506 Trading: (47)	Re: Joke A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head! But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso popped out! The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms popped out! The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair. By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs popped out. The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over. The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head." __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

03-24-2011, 08:56 AM	#29
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,506 Trading: (47)	Re: Joke It is a little-known fact that before becoming a singer, Bing Crosby ran a boarding school for boys in San Antonio, Texas. One of the boys who lived in the dorm was in the habit of taking off on Friday afternoons, going to Mexico, and getting drunk. But he kept his studies up during the week, and because his parents were wealthy and important trustees, the school took no action against him. However, one Friday afternoon he got together with a day student, and they both disappeared. The parents of the day student were concerned when their son didn't come home, so they called Bing Crosby to ask after him. Bing Crosby said, "Don't worry. Your son is soused with the boarder, down Mexico way." __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

03-24-2011, 11:08 AM	#30
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Joke Wow! Some of these bad joke aren't too bad! I'll quit while I'm a head! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

03-24-2011, 11:44 AM	#32
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: Joke Did you hear that after Michael died, and since he's like 90% plastic, they were going to melt him down? They are going to recast him as Legos, so kids can play with him for a change. __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

03-24-2011, 11:47 AM	#33
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: Joke __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

03-24-2011, 12:06 PM	#34
N2 GOLD MIND OVER MATTER... Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: RICO Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W Posts: 2,330 Trading: (1)	Re: Joke Keep them comming.... __________________ When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.