Great One Liners

CBI_2 · 08-27-2010, 05:08 PM

Some great one liners from stand up comic Jay London.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I saw a stationery store move.

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

Skywalker · 08-31-2010, 11:34 PM

Nice!!!

Reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield!!!

Parshooter · 09-01-2010, 06:19 AM

Although she was only a bourbon maker, I loved her still.

bigdix · 09-01-2010, 06:21 AM

So this baby seal walks into a club.

08-27-2010, 05:08 PM	#1
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Great One Liners Some great one liners from stand up comic Jay London. A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked. A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock. After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride. I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm. I saw a stationery store move. I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world. I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough. I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out. I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody. My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless. __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

08-31-2010, 11:34 PM	#2
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Great One Liners Nice!!! Reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

09-01-2010, 06:19 AM	#3
Parshooter I'm a friend of Gary S Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Marc Location: St Somewhere Posts: 835 Trading: (2)	Re: Great One Liners Although she was only a bourbon maker, I loved her still. __________________ I love chicks with FLBP.

09-01-2010, 06:21 AM	#4
bigdix Cigarmurai Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Dan Location: Oki Posts: 669 Trading: (1)	Re: Great One Liners So this baby seal walks into a club. __________________ There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake.