Short Letters

markem · 08-07-2011, 01:20 PM

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing
about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a biotch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're mostly dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Mr. Gump
There's a little diagram on the inside of the box that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get....
Sincerely,
Jenny

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

jsnake · 08-07-2011, 01:36 PM

Very funny

WittyUserName · 08-07-2011, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jsnake

Very funny

X2

zemekone · 08-07-2011, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

i like that one...

pnoon · 08-07-2011, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Skywalker · 08-08-2011, 11:22 AM

TBone · 08-08-2011, 12:08 PM

kelmac07 · 08-08-2011, 12:09 PM

BigAsh · 08-08-2011, 12:13 PM

08-08-2011, 06:31 PM

Great ideas!

area51 · 08-08-2011, 06:42 PM

Got em hahaha.

Tikihut27 · 08-08-2011, 07:36 PM

Dear Thompson Cigars,
No means no.
Sincerely,
Tikihut27

shilala · 08-12-2011, 12:55 PM

irratebass · 08-12-2011, 01:02 PM

Funny stuff right there!

Chainsaw13 · 08-12-2011, 01:04 PM

Bill86 · 08-12-2011, 01:06 PM

poker · 08-12-2011, 01:09 PM

Chainsaw13 · 08-12-2011, 01:11 PM

Interesting. I"ve tried reposting the one from Sarah Palin on FB twice. Both times it disappears. Lets see if 3rd time is the charm.

08-07-2011, 01:20 PM	#1
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,530 Trading: (47)	Short Letters Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a biotch. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear America , You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened? Sincerely, 1985 Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're mostly dead. Sincerely, BP Oil Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin Dear World of Warcraft, Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity. Sincerely, Parents Everywhere Dear Customers, Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies Dear Ugly People, You're welcome. Sincerely, Alcohol Dear Mr. Gump There's a little diagram on the inside of the box that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna get.... Sincerely, Jenny Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

08-07-2011, 01:36 PM	#2
jsnake Have My Own Room Join Date: Feb 2010 First Name: Jake Location: Your mom's house Posts: 1,309 Trading: (22)	Re: Short Letters Very funny

08-08-2011, 11:22 AM	#6
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Short Letters __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

08-08-2011, 12:08 PM	#7
TBone Equal opportunity Bomber Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Paul Location: Virginia Posts: 2,508 Trading: (25)	Re: Short Letters

08-08-2011, 12:09 PM	#8
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Short Letters __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

08-08-2011, 12:13 PM	#9
BigAsh Don't knock the Ash... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Keith Location: Yardley, PA Posts: 5,046 Trading: (46)	Re: Short Letters __________________ Keith

08-08-2011, 06:31 PM	#10
BnBTobacco Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Short Letters Great ideas!

08-08-2011, 06:42 PM	#11
area51 Blowing Smoke Rings Join Date: Sep 2010 First Name: Ken Location: Tejas Posts: 1,259 Trading: (3)	Re: Short Letters Got em hahaha. __________________

08-08-2011, 07:36 PM	#12
Tikihut27 Learned to Love the Bomb Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 818 Trading: (3)	Re: Short Letters Dear Thompson Cigars, No means no. Sincerely, Tikihut27 __________________ I can no longer sit back and allow... the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

08-12-2011, 12:55 PM	#13
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: Short Letters __________________

08-12-2011, 01:02 PM	#14
irratebass EMPEROR TOMPKINS Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Mickey Location: Mooresville, Indiana Posts: 8,313 Trading: (48)	Re: Short Letters Funny stuff right there! __________________

08-12-2011, 01:04 PM	#15
Chainsaw13 Møøse bites can be nasty Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Bob Location: The Enchanted Mitten Posts: 7,039 Trading: (96)	Re: Short Letters __________________ My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums.

08-12-2011, 01:06 PM	#16
Bill86 Snob Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Bill Posts: 6,704 Trading: (67)	Re: Short Letters __________________ I'm drunk......but I'll get drunker! - Doug Stanhope

08-12-2011, 01:09 PM	#17
poker 1:11 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kelly Location: SoCal Posts: 5,280 Trading: (7)	Re: Short Letters __________________ Cigar Asylum: A cigar board birthed without agendas, without profiting, and without advertisements. Amor puro Character is what you do when no one is watching

08-12-2011, 01:11 PM	#18
Chainsaw13 Møøse bites can be nasty Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Bob Location: The Enchanted Mitten Posts: 7,039 Trading: (96)	Re: Short Letters Interesting. I"ve tried reposting the one from Sarah Palin on FB twice. Both times it disappears. Lets see if 3rd time is the charm. __________________ My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums.