Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-23-2010, 09:50 PM   #1
SvilleKid
Yes I am a Pirate
 
SvilleKid's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: 33°46′08″N 86°28′16″W / 33.76895°N 86.471037°W
Posts: 2,776
Trading: (52)
SvilleKid has disabled reputation
Default Male Sensitivity Test

Male Sensitivity Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.


2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.


3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.


4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:


A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.


5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:


A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.


6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.


7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.


8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.


9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?


A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."


10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
[/FONT]
__________________
Ceilin' fan it stirs the air, Cigar smoke does swirl. The fragrance on the pillow case, and he thinks about the girl. Thanks, JB, 1975.

Last edited by SvilleKid; 10-23-2010 at 09:55 PM.
SvilleKid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2010, 10:27 PM   #2
GolfNut
Back in the woodshop!
 
GolfNut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Forrest
Location: Living room
Posts: 1,361
Trading: (38)
Partagas
GolfNut has a spectacular aura aboutGolfNut has a spectacular aura aboutGolfNut has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

These made me and my wife both laugh!
GolfNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2010, 10:35 PM   #3
docdoty
Cigars & Guns...what else
 
docdoty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Justin
Location: Homer, mi
Posts: 429
Trading: (8)
RA AirForce
docdoty is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

That was great. thanks for the laugh.
__________________
Enjoy what you smoke, and Smoke what you enjoy
docdoty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2010, 11:13 PM   #4
BluesGuy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

So.....the answer to them all is C right
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2010, 08:36 AM   #5
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 07:16 AM   #6
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 07:32 AM   #7
shilala
Dear Lord, Thank You.
 
shilala's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Posts: 13,721
Trading: (252)
Cuaba
shilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

This one got laughs out of me and Lisa both.
$100 extra made me lol.
__________________
shilala is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-26-2010, 08:48 PM   #8
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2010, 05:00 PM   #9
GTsetGO
those were the droids
 
GTsetGO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
First Name: Rob
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 1,686
Trading: (5)
Montecristo
GTsetGO has a spectacular aura aboutGTsetGO has a spectacular aura aboutGTsetGO has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

very funny
__________________
Modded Mustangs
GTsetGO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2010, 05:44 PM   #10
HollywoodQue
Invictus
 
HollywoodQue's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Howard
Location: In the "D"
Posts: 3,119
Trading: (46)
Bolivar Navy (Served With Honor)
HollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really nice
Default Re: Male Sensitivity Test

Now that's a test....I failed cuz I dont give a sh!t
HollywoodQue is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.