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Old 01-08-2021, 03:10 PM   #1
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Default squirrels in church

A little town had problems with squirrels at all the religious institutions.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with Godís divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Lutherans and Catholics came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They havenít seen a squirrel since.
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Old 01-08-2021, 03:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: squirrels in church

That sounds about right, except the Baptists in these parts would shoot the squirrels and have them for Sunday supper.
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Old 01-08-2021, 03:39 PM   #3
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Old 01-08-2021, 05:35 PM   #4
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Default Re: squirrels in church

HahahA . Funny stuff.
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Old 01-09-2021, 10:18 AM   #5
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Default Re: squirrels in church

And now I know why I'm Episcopalian .
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Old 01-09-2021, 10:25 AM   #6
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Old 01-09-2021, 10:32 AM   #7
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Good One, Todd!
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Old 01-13-2021, 08:42 AM   #8
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Old 01-13-2021, 08:43 AM   #9
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Default Re: squirrels in church

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Poet View Post
That sounds about right, except the Baptists in these parts would shoot the squirrels and have them for Sunday supper.
Truth!
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