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Old 12-25-2008, 12:41 PM   #1
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Default Very personal vent......

I need to vent and talk about something and I just don't know where to go or who to turn to right now.........so might as well turn to the most open and big hearted group that I know of.

This is my first Christmas........

Kind of odd I know but let me start out in saying that I don't want this to turn into a religious conversation AT ALL. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and never celebrated Christmas. I had a HUGE group of friends that we would still get together and all hang out, go snowboarding, have a big dinner or just something during this time of the year just to partake in some of the warmth of the holidays.

Last year I decided enough was enough. My wife and I got a divorce after 12 years and I left the religion. With leaving the religion I ended up losing EVERY ONE of my friends. Long story on how that works but they pretty much disown you if you walk away or are what they call disfellowshiped. Your family, friends everybody.

My family has been cool about it and have been accepting but they don't do Christmas. But here I am now all by myself on a day when you should be surrounded by family and friends. It's hitting me a lot harder then I thought it would. I've been making new friends now because I seriously had to start all over at 33 years old, ground zero, no friends and in a new town. I followed my ex wife to Reno, NV because she wanted to bring the kids here.

I just needed to vent and if anybody here has been thru this (there are a lot of ex JW's out there) then feel free to PM me but PLEASE and I plead with you DO NOT TURN THIS INTO A BASHING OF RELIGION.

Just feels better to talk about it........

This is my plan for later today, I am a photographer and I'm going to go out and take portraits of some of the homeless people in the area and listen to their stories about how they got there. I've got coffee and cookies that I'm going to pass out also. Then next year I'm going to do an exhibit with their pictures and their names and stories below. Kind of depressing but these guys have it MUCH worse then I do right now and that's what you always have to remember isn't it?

Thanks guys for a place to let people vent, a place for people to make new friends and a place for some of the best people in the world to get together.
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Old 12-25-2008, 12:49 PM   #2
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

At the end of the day, you gotta do what is gonna make you happy bro.


Many people wish to do the same as you've done, but don't have the balls (courage). Hopefully it will not impact your relationship with your children.

Merry Christmas.
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Old 12-25-2008, 12:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Merry Christmas Aaron, I hope they only get better from here on out.
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Old 12-25-2008, 12:59 PM   #4
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Quote:
Originally Posted by borndead1 View Post
At the end of the day, you gotta do what is gonna make you happy bro.


Many people wish to do the same as you've done, but don't have the balls (courage). Hopefully it will not impact your relationship with your children.

Merry Christmas.

Thanks to both of you. I appreciate it. Here's to many Christmas celebrations in the future.

The biggest fear in my life is the one above. That this will impact our relationship in the future. Right now they are only 5 and 3 so they have no idea and I'm still a HUGE part of their life. I'll come to that hurdle if and when it's there.

aaron
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:01 PM   #5
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Quote:
Originally Posted by UPHOTO View Post
This is my plan for later today, I am a photographer and I'm going to go out and take portraits of some of the homeless people in the area and listen to their stories about how they got there. I've got coffee and cookies that I'm going to pass out also. Then next year I'm going to do an exhibit with their pictures and their names and stories below. Kind of depressing but these guys have it MUCH worse then I do right now and that's what you always have to remember isn't it?
This is a great and thoughtful idea!

Brother get on skype and I promise you'll never feel alone!

Religion is not my favorite subject. Keep in mind that we grow stronger with every test of our understanding of life.
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:05 PM   #6
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Merry Christmas Aaron!
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:06 PM   #7
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mugen910 View Post
This is a great and thoughtful idea!


X-mas can be a tough day if you're not celebrating the holiday with family and friends. Everything is closed and it's tough to stay occupied. Your plan is a great one and you are doing a great thing for those in need.
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:21 PM   #8
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mugen910 View Post
This is a great and thoughtful idea!

Brother get on skype and I promise you'll never feel alone!

Religion is not my favorite subject. Keep in mind that we grow stronger with every test of our understanding of life.
I just signed up on skype!!! Is there an address book on here for people who have it?

Would love to herf with some people here on skype!
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:24 PM   #9
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

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I just signed up on skype!!! Is there an address book on here for people who have it?

Would love to herf with some people here on skype!
http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showth...ighlight=skype

Add me too brother...it's my CA SN...I'm off and on today due to the family coming over but the LateNightCrew (LNC) is always there in someway shape or form
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Old 12-25-2008, 01:30 PM   #10
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Talking Re: Very personal vent......

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyC View Post


X-mas can be a tough day if you're not celebrating the holiday with family and friends. Everything is closed and it's tough to stay occupied. Your plan is a great one and you are doing a great thing for those in need.
x2

Aaron, spending your time, helping folks less fortunate than you is the very essence of Christmas IMHO; your plan is the best way to celebrate this Holiday, no matter what your religion is.

I wish you nothing but good in your future, and you will be in my daily thoughts! If you ever want to vent, I'm a great listener!

BTW, how is the weather in Provo? My library cooperative's software home offices are there in Provo. And back in the late '80's I spent a lot of time in the Ogden area working for AT&T at Hill AFB.

Please enjoy the holiday - Merry Christmas to you, good sir!

Charlie


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Old 12-25-2008, 01:47 PM   #11
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

After spending 15 years with a witness not celebrating the holidays before divorcing almost 10 years ago, I know where you are coming from...

Sounds like you have an excellent plan for helping others and keeping your perspective on what the season truly means...

If sharing experiences of being isolated from others after a divorce from that religion would help, feel free to contact me...

I was never an actual part of the religion, but while I was in the marraige, I would attend meetings, etc, and all of our friends were a part of it, so when the marraige ended, I like you, started from ground zero...

Take heart that it really does only get better...especially when you have your head on straight like it seems you do and if you keep yourself away from bitterness as it sounds like you are since you aren't interested in bashing anyone...

Stay strong...

Stomp'N'Rock,

Joseph
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Old 12-25-2008, 02:28 PM   #12
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Thank you Charlie and Joseph.

Getting ready right now to go out there. Going to bring a few cigars to and pass those out.

Trying to stay upbeat today.
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Old 12-25-2008, 02:35 PM   #13
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Not sure that I have any super words that will help, but I do have two:

Merry Christmas!
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Old 12-25-2008, 02:38 PM   #14
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Merry Christmas - I have never been a JW, but did leave a church several years ago that followed the same sort of shutting me off, so I lost several good friends. This first Christmas is understandably rough but you can take pride in your decision and resolve. Every year will get exponentially better. Merry Christmas!
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Old 12-25-2008, 02:48 PM   #15
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Aaron,
I,m in Battle Mt., about 200mi. east of Reno.
On March 7 and 8 there is a pipe show at the Nugget.
Don't know if that holds any interest for you but if so show up
we'll tip one. I'll page your name. I'm Dennis Gustafson.
God Speed and stay warm today!
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Old 12-25-2008, 03:23 PM   #16
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Merry Christmas brother!
I hope you have many many more Christmas celebrations to look forward to!
Starting over is always tough.
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Old 12-25-2008, 03:25 PM   #17
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

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Originally Posted by Dennis569 View Post
Aaron,
I,m in Battle Mt., about 200mi. east of Reno.
On March 7 and 8 there is a pipe show at the Nugget.
Don't know if that holds any interest for you but if so show up
we'll tip one. I'll page your name. I'm Dennis Gustafson.
God Speed and stay warm today!

Hey Dennis, please remind me of this one! I would love to go. I have a few pipes but it's something I'm getting into more now.

Would be great to meet up!

aaron
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Old 12-25-2008, 03:26 PM   #18
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Merry Christmas, make the best of what you have and don't sweat the rest.
I could always send you my family if you 'really' want one that bad....
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Old 12-25-2008, 04:04 PM   #19
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

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I'm going to go out and take portraits of some of the homeless people in the area and listen to their stories about how they got there. I've got coffee and cookies that I'm going to pass out also.
I can't think of anything better to do today than just what you've decided on.
If you weren't in Reno, I'd already have invited you over. We're going to watch some movies and play with the kids.
I've started over lots of times. I'm getting pretty good at it. You're going to be fine, it'll just take some time.
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Old 12-25-2008, 04:43 PM   #20
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Default Re: Very personal vent......

Godspeed, brother!
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