Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-13-2013, 05:36 PM   #1
Blueface
Gramps 4x's
 
Blueface's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny
Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana
Posts: 8,774
Trading: (8)
Bolivar
Blueface has disabled reputation
Default "I Hear Someone Coming"

A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own.
He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment and she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts.
They are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my a$$ is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered... 'outside, when you said you heard someone coming... that was me.'
__________________
Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian
Blueface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2013, 05:49 PM   #2
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2013, 06:35 PM   #3
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,038
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2013, 07:56 PM   #4
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2013, 10:06 PM   #5
Dave128
Sexy Dave
 
Dave128's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Dave
Location: Voorheesville, NY
Posts: 3,917
Trading: (4)
Dave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really nice
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
I "heart" Boobies and Beer!
Dave128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2013, 06:04 AM   #6
BHalbrooks
Have My Own Room
 
BHalbrooks's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
First Name: B
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,122
Trading: (5)
SP CoastGuard (Active)
BHalbrooks has a spectacular aura aboutBHalbrooks has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

BHalbrooks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2013, 07:08 AM   #7
688sonarmen
Shipmate!
 
688sonarmen's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
First Name: Jake
Location: Norwich, Ct
Posts: 2,698
Trading: (17)
Bolivar Navy (Active)
688sonarmen is just really nice688sonarmen is just really nice688sonarmen is just really nice688sonarmen is just really nice
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

That's a knee slapper!
688sonarmen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2013, 07:52 AM   #8
Ciro
Enjoying the Show!
 
Ciro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 461
Trading: (11)
SLR
Ciro has disabled reputation
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

Ciro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2013, 08:24 AM   #9
longknocker
Postwhore
 
longknocker's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Mobile, Alabama
Posts: 11,113
Trading: (82)
Cohiba
longknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant futurelongknocker has a brilliant future
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

longknocker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-14-2013, 10:32 AM   #10
Big_Ern
Still Watching My Back
 
Big_Ern's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Ernie
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 158
Trading: (1)
Trinidad
Big_Ern is on a distinguished road
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

i laughed out loud at the laundry mat
__________________
Love those Maduros
Big_Ern is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2013, 07:47 AM   #11
CigarSquid
AKA Garryyjr
 
CigarSquid's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
First Name: Garry
Location: Medford, OR - Cigar Zombie
Posts: 3,212
Trading: (39)
CigarSquid has a spectacular aura aboutCigarSquid has a spectacular aura aboutCigarSquid has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

That is a good one. Thanks.
__________________
gaRRy
CigarSquid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2013, 09:12 AM   #12
czerbe
Just a Traveling Man
 
czerbe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
First Name: Corey
Location: Reading Pa
Posts: 1,309
Trading: (2)
Partagas
czerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: "I Hear Someone Coming"

I see what you did there!!!
__________________
Live fast, hard, everyday like its your last.
czerbe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:57 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.