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Old 07-13-2011, 07:12 PM   #1
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Default 20 things you don't say to a cop

Don't say this to a cop

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:13 PM   #2
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:15 PM   #3
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

9. I pay your salary

You have no clue how many times I've heard that when I working in booking.
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:19 PM   #4
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:29 PM   #5
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

exactly
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:29 PM   #6
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

LOVE them all...
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:35 PM   #7
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

I've heard these all before, except #3.
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Old 07-13-2011, 07:49 PM   #8
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

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Old 07-13-2011, 08:08 PM   #9
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

21. Here's my address, I'd love a CA Newsletter!
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Old 07-13-2011, 08:12 PM   #10
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

22. Don't make me call Icehog3
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Old 07-13-2011, 08:35 PM   #11
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23. Du-ude!
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Old 07-14-2011, 02:14 AM   #12
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

24. Do I know why I was pulled over? I was doing 20 dollars over the speed limit.
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Old 07-14-2011, 02:22 AM   #13
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

Quote:
Originally Posted by ggainey View Post
Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.
i usually just told them, "don't you need a job to pay my salary?"
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Old 07-14-2011, 02:31 AM   #14
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunker2004 View Post
i usually just told them, "don't you need a job to pay my salary?"
Or, "Good.....I need a f***ing raise".
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Old 07-14-2011, 02:36 AM   #15
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
Or, "Good.....I need a f***ing raise".
or "wow what do ya know, i pay taxes too. guess that means i pay my own salary..."
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Old 07-14-2011, 06:00 AM   #16
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

Quote:
Originally Posted by ggainey View Post
Yeah and most of them Justin were probably on medicaid and get the unearned income credit and haven't paid any income taxes in their whole lives.
I usually get it from irate parents after their kid gets in trouble.
I usually say then I want a raise, because you expect me to teach and do your job as a parent!
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Old 07-14-2011, 08:33 AM   #17
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

Nice!
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Old 07-14-2011, 08:43 AM   #18
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

I lol'd more than once. Bad cop no donut got me started. Thanks, Larry!!!
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Old 07-14-2011, 09:44 AM   #19
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Default Re: 20 things you don't say to a cop

42. Who transplanted someones thighs onto your arms, Ossifer Murphy?
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Old 07-14-2011, 10:22 AM   #20
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Quote:
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42. Who transplanted someones thighs onto your arms, Ossifer Murphy?
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