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Old 08-29-2009, 02:41 PM   #1
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Default Guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar with a live chicken under his arm. The bartender says "You can't have a chicken in the bar". The man then takes the chicken from under his arm and eats it whole. He says to the bartender "I hope your happy! Now I'm gonna have get a new harpsichord!"


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Old 08-29-2009, 02:48 PM   #2
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar...

Ouch!
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Old 08-29-2009, 02:54 PM   #3
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

A live chicken... a harpsichord... .... wait, is this a test?
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Old 08-29-2009, 05:37 PM   #4
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A baby seal walks into a club.
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Old 08-30-2009, 01:33 AM   #5
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

Knock knock.
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Old 08-30-2009, 02:05 AM   #6
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

Who's there
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Old 08-30-2009, 11:46 AM   #7
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

It's 1972 and a man walks into a bar with a live goose under hs arm. The bartender says "You can't have live geese in here, man!". The guy says "But I'm a Cubs fan". The bartender then says "Come here and I will splash you with some Vermouth for free.".

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Old 08-30-2009, 12:19 PM   #8
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

Quote:
Originally Posted by McSmokey View Post
Who's there
Scott's harpsicord.
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Old 08-30-2009, 12:38 PM   #9
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

What, and give up show business?
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:11 PM   #10
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar. Two hours later he walks out drunk off his @$$!
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Old 08-30-2009, 07:24 PM   #11
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

Two guys walk into a bar. One is holding a picture of Jack Benny, the other, a picture of Lenny Bruce. The bartender says "We are all out of manilla envelopes."

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Old 08-30-2009, 07:27 PM   #12
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders dinner. The bartender says, we don't serve food here.
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Old 08-31-2009, 07:36 PM   #13
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Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
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Old 08-31-2009, 07:49 PM   #14
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

The Blues walks into a bar and says "I got the damn blues dammit!"

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Old 08-31-2009, 07:56 PM   #15
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar. Wait...
What the hell are a rabbi, a priest, and a minister doing in a bar?
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Old 09-01-2009, 07:40 AM   #16
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:44 AM   #17
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

This reads like a british comedy....I'm not sure if I should be laughing, but others seem to be enjoying it.
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:52 AM   #18
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Maduro View Post
There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"
That was beautiful!

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Old 09-01-2009, 08:54 AM   #19
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly View Post
That was beautiful!

MCS
I had a feeling you would enjoy that. My friend and I have been telling that one for years.
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:58 AM   #20
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Default Re: Guy walks into a bar

A Ziggy comic walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I'm having a "Ziggy" day. What drink can you recommend for someone having a "Ziggy" day?" The bartender says " I never liked Ziggy. I've always been more of a Tank Mcnamara guy. How about some Gin and Drano?"

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