Gorrilla Finger (WARNING)

[Partagaspete]

The warning is the tulip twins (particularly Simon) loves to give these out. DO NOT ACCEPT!!!

I still have not had the Cremosa but I cannot imagine it being a worse cigar. Now for the obligatory review...I will keep it short:








Seriously BAD!!!

First of all it must be kept separated by more than just one plastic baggie from other cigars. That's right the whore perfume aroma can burn through the plastic baggies.

Initial aroma once baggie is opened is no kidding, cheap whore perfume.

Construction is actually quite good (unfortunately as I was hoping it would unravel immediately upon lighting). Good draw after the cut and the pre-light flavor of those pretty little dish soaps you see lying in those dishes at fancy places.

TASTE: OMFG, is Lars Tetan for real? if you want a visual check out the photos of me smoking it located in the Amsterdam herf thread. One cannot describe how horrid this thing is. After about the midway point I could actually say it was dissolving my taste buds.

No kidding, my taste buds really got inflamed as if I had licked a cheese grater.

One thing I just thought about was when I was about to light it Misha leaned over and in all seriousness, compassionately said "I hope you have some aspirin, good luck."

No Chit shortly into it, I got a raging temporal headache they was relieved a few minutes after I stopped smoking it.

So Fair warning to those that come in contact with these ones called the Tulip Twins as they dispense pure evil.

T

[Savvy]

And everyone in America needs to beware of the Tulip Twins... I really hope Simon didn't bring any over for you guys

[Partagaspete]

Hey! Shouldn't you be working?

Those were pretty bad Huh!

[Garbandz]

The Tulip Twins were in Fayetteville,NC. on Sunday,May 24th and up to their old tricks.They had the Gorilla fingers and were trying to give one away...Simon is a nice guy,but he and Fernando have a practical joker thing going on....I hope they can make their US tour an annual event...

[TanithT]

I smelled those things. Really, I am sure that they take all the care in the world when they are making these. They feed their herd of pedigreed cats only the best quality fermented fish livers before getting them to fill up the humidor boxes with their special output. These cats are flea dipped in perfume and rubbed carefully with Vicks VapoRub every day between the pale thighs of the virgin maidens who roll these particular cigars. So you can see how much care they must put into the production.

There is only one place they obviously cut corners on the cost, and that's on their aging and storage. You would think that they would at least purchase brand new urinal cakes to properly age these cigars, but I think that their supplier was double dipping and renting out their tobacco aging sheds for public use as port-a-potties.

That's the luscious bouquet I smelled on those things, anyhow. I could be wrong, but who knows, I may have just figured out their secret.

[kelmac07]

We'll be on the lookout...thanks for the heads up!

[taltos]

I have heard that these are real popular in California, especially in the San Diego area.

[hotreds]

Once upon a time I wanted to try one- not anymore!

[kelmac07]

I saw the pics of the guy smoking it in Amsterdam...NOT PRETTY!!!

[JE3146]

After all the stories I've heard about these, I wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole. You're much braver(*) than I am for even trying one




(*) Something like that.....

Yes, THREE BAGS...

The original wrapper baggy....a ziploc.....and ANOTHER ziploc....and you can STILL smell the PHUNK.....

Put it this way....they got "hidden" in an empty cigar box at the Fayetteville herf....the stench MELTED the wood glue on the box!!!!

[G G]

Uh, I saw them at the herf in Gainesville, but DID not let Simon talk me into smoking or taking one. They smelled terrible unlit. Cannot imagine how bad they are when they are actually on fire.

[kelmac07]

Tobii...thanks for the visual!!! Now it can't be camoflauged!!

[Partagaspete]

Originally Posted by hotreds

Once upon a time I wanted to try one- not anymore!

Oh! You must try it to believe it.

Originally Posted by kelmac07

I saw the pics of the guy smoking it in Amsterdam...NOT PRETTY!!!

I am that guy and take affront to you saying I am not so good looking

T

[TanithT]

Originally Posted by tobii3

Yes, THREE BAGS...

The original wrapper baggy....a ziploc.....and ANOTHER ziploc....and you can STILL smell the PHUNK.....

Testify, brother. That was sadly quite true. Don't even think of keeping one these abominations of man and nature in your humidor. Half of your cigars will whimper, gag, choke and die, and the survivors will crawl out of your humidor to lead an armed revolt.

Come to think of it, the twins are traveling with a bunch of guys packed into a car, so maybe they needed these things as air fresheners. Either that or they miss certain smells from the Amsterdam red light district.

[s15driftking]

id' smoke it, no joke.

[taltos]

Originally Posted by s15driftking

id' smoke it, no joke.

Would be an improvement on the Gurkha's.

Originally Posted by taltos

Would be an improvement on the Gurkha's.

Read my mind there paul! I would rather smoke the finger than the Ghurka... Actually I'd rather smoke my own finger instead of a Ghurka

[kelmac07]

I read the thread and still got baited from Simon and Ferd...all I can say is YUCKKKKK!!

[TanithT]

Originally Posted by DougBushBC

Read my mind there paul! I would rather smoke the finger than the Ghurka... Actually I'd rather smoke my own finger instead of a Ghurka

Really? Keep in mind I've only smoked one Gurkha, the Crest. It wasn't da bomb, but it really wasn't a bad smoke at all. The worst I could say about it is that it was earthy, peaty, mushroomy and "dirty", which doesn't appeal to all tastes. It did not cause active injury to my palate. Anything flavored by Lars Tetens or Acid, on the other hand, will destroy your taste buds for hours by marinating them liberally in a mixture of Ben-Gay, cat pee and cheap whore perfume.

When you score wines for tasting, basically a wine gets 50 points just for showing up, even if it isn't drinkable. You can't technically score them below that. But there were a few wines that I really wanted to score a 49 or lower because they were so foul that I not only couldn't keep them in my mouth, they made me spit so hard I almost lost the last few wines I tasted as well. The truly, deeply awful ones also made it hard to taste the next few wines.

Lars Tetens is like that. Gurkha isn't, at least as far as I can tell from the Crest. Just my humble opinion.