Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-19-2014, 10:55 AM   #1
Blueface
Gramps 4x's
 
Blueface's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny
Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana
Posts: 8,774
Trading: (8)
Bolivar
Blueface has disabled reputation
Default More wife moments

I was pretty excited when my wife sent me a text message claiming that she loves anal.
Dyslexic, it turns out that she loves Alan, my best friend..

I fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. They're brilliant...It makes the wife look like she's actually moving during sex.

I was watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and I suddenly yell
"No! No! Don't enter that church, you damn fool..!"
My wife asks, "What are you watching?"
I replied "Our wedding video".

I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper" "Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what the heck hit it.

I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes her sleepy and her butt sore.
__________________
Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian
Blueface is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 11:02 AM   #2
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,038
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: More wife moments

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 11:34 AM   #3
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: More wife moments

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 01:57 PM   #4
14holestogie
Serial banter killer
 
14holestogie's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tim
Location: Clintonville, WI
Posts: 4,341
Trading: (52)
Partagas
14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold14holestogie is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: More wife moments

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueface View Post
I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes her sleepy and her butt sore.
Blame it on Alan!
__________________
I loves me a Parti
14holestogie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 03:02 PM   #5
cmitch
Heads up get down
 
cmitch's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Clayton
Location: NW Alabama by the river
Posts: 2,720
Trading: (25)
Montecristo
cmitch is just really nicecmitch is just really nicecmitch is just really nicecmitch is just really nicecmitch is just really nice
Default Re: More wife moments

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueface View Post

I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn't like it.
She says that it makes her sleepy and her butt sore.
Playing the back nine will always get you into trouble.
__________________
No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.
cmitch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 03:43 PM   #6
Tio Gato
Uncle Kitty
 
Tio Gato's Avatar
10
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Jeff
Location: Casa Grande, AZ
Posts: 2,075
Trading: (11)
Partagas
Tio Gato is just really niceTio Gato is just really niceTio Gato is just really niceTio Gato is just really nice
Default Re: More wife moments

Love the perfume one. Thanks for the laugh, I needed one.
__________________
"You stink like cigars Uncle Kitty!" Said my Boo age 3.
"Kid, take care of your family and the hell with anyone else" My Grandpa Bubba.
Tio Gato is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2014, 05:59 PM   #7
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: More wife moments

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:42 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.