Crushed. - Page 2

pnoon · 07-02-2010, 12:27 AM

One door may have closed. But, in time, you will find that many others will open.

Take it from an old fart who knows.

(oops. sorry.)

s0leful0ne · 07-02-2010, 01:46 AM

500 days of summer. Revoke my man card if you like, but its the perfect movie for this.

Ratters · 07-02-2010, 02:19 AM

Sorry to hear it Mark.

When I was your age and that stuff happened to me I'd revel in it for awhile. Listen to some Frank Sinatra, cause when you've loved and lost the way Frank has you know what life's about.

But hang out with your buddies and have fun. These break ups hurt, they're supposed to, lets you know you're human. It will turn around soon enough and then you'll be going "man I miss my single days".

So buck up little camper, tomorrow will be a brighter day.

GreekGodX · 07-02-2010, 04:42 AM

Just keep your head up and keep moving forward

Just think all the time you'll have for cigars and drinks now

Pass · 07-02-2010, 06:45 AM

Like Chingas said. Had an earlier relationship not ended... you wouldn't have had this one. Now that this one has ended you have the next to look forward to. With many hard lessons learned, which will make the next relationship that much better! Trust me... been there done that!

But future reflections take time to help heal the wound. You're hurting now... My suggestion? Do something incredibly selfish for you! Go buy a motorcycle or something nice like a hug new humidor!!! Then go about finding and collecting cigars. Sometimes a little selfishness and irresponsibility can go a LONG way towards cheering you up!

lightning9191 · 07-02-2010, 07:27 AM

It's better to figure out that it wouldn't work out now, then after you marry her.

What to do now? Whatever you want to.....because someday you'll probably have a lot less freedom. Just don't lock yourself in. Sit on your porch, drink a beer, have a cigar, and read a good book. Go fishing. Go out with your friends. Go to the shooting range. It's summertime...lots of festivals. Go camping. Do some project you've been meaning to get to (woodworking, write a book, whatever). Just remember that you have lots of friends and family online and off that are here for ya if you need them.

blugill · 07-02-2010, 07:51 AM

AS been stated before don't dwell. You are 22, I didn't realize how dumb I was at 22 until I was 32, then I didn't realize how dumb I was at 32 until I hit 40.

Mourn the loss, recover from it, before you know it someone will be along and be better than before.

I married for the first time at 39 now I have two beautiful teenage daughters, and a very loving wife, none of which I would have had if I hadn't had bad breakups before.

It's part of it brother, a life experience and you have to go through the bad to find the truly good.

kenstogie · 07-02-2010, 08:06 AM

I recently broke up with a steady of a couple years and in my ripe old age of 39 ended it before it got to the yelling stage, I would like to think were still friends and we still talk every once in a while.

Don't be sad that it ended but happy that it happened.

I am sure there was some good that came of it after all you were with her for a while so there must've been some love there. 22 is kind of young (at least is was for me) and there still some stuff to be learned. In fact at 39 there's still stuff to be learned.

A one night fling always helps too.

07-02-2010, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by s0leful0ne

500 days of summer. Revoke my man card if you like, but its the perfect movie for this.

I think it was revoked a long time ago, Aldrin.

The advice given is pretty much nuts on. #1, you're young, and it's part of life and growing up. I too, was one who felt things like this deeply and painfully. I got married to my ex when I was 22 (WAY too young). But the things I went through while with her made me the person I am today. It prepared me for the rest of my life. Several people here have met my wife, and know just how lucky I am. I love her dearly, and we are MUCH MUCH MUCH more compatible than I was with my ex. She loves and supports me and lets me be who I am.

take a step back and look at things differently. Remember the good times, but try not to dwell on them. Those memories will fade with time, but there are MANY more adventures waiting ahead of you. Heading to school in Tampa? Think of all the much hotter coeds you'll be able to hook up with now.

Just relax and enjoy life as you can. The right opportunities will show themselves when you least expect them. I know that one from experience. The harder you look for them, the harder they will be to find.

Keep ya chin up!

Scottw · 07-02-2010, 08:21 AM

I got invited to my ex girlfriends wedding after bumping into her at college a year earlier. Not exactly the most fun watching your ex all over someone else saying I do, etc. Later that night, I met a beautiful girl who had just had a breakup of her own. We danced, had a drink and two weeks later met for dinner. I have been with her for the past 11 years since and share a home and a beautiful family with her.

Keep your head up and know that you have the whole world open to you. Make something great happen!

Superbad · 07-02-2010, 08:37 AM

I guess you could call me an old fart as I shall turn 40 this year, but I am in denial as I still think I am young. My advice is that you should recognize that she just gave you the best gift ever. Will you be going to USF? If so that is 40,000 students and as a recent alumnus I can assure you there is no shortage of attractive and smart women there. Tampa is a great city and the cigar culture is still alive there. At age 22 you are still young, and have lots of great things ahead of you. Try not to dwell on the past, move ahead towards new experiences and new friends. Next time I will be in tampa maybe we can get together and have a cigar.

Oh yeah.... GO BULLS!!!

Blueface · 07-02-2010, 08:45 AM

Sorry to hear.
Been there.
You have to follow one simple philosophy:
One door closes but another opens.
Things happen for a reason.

Wolfgang · 07-02-2010, 09:15 AM

Byt I feel like my fingers were still in the door when it slammed shut. I'm doing my best to "move on" but she was there for me through a lot of the medical adventures I Went through. She was a major support system for me and it seems as though my legs were kicked out from under me.

Wolfgang · 07-02-2010, 02:22 PM

Well, My dog just died at the age of 15. That should keep my mind off things.

borndead1 · 07-02-2010, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfgang

I am moving to Tampa so Ill be able to hang out with all the guys up there and a school with atleast 20,000 students should pep me up.

They make some good cigars in Tampa.

My only advice is this: if you have any kind of daily routine, break it as much as you can for a while. I know it sounds crazy, but it will help.

Ratters · 07-02-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfgang

Well, My dog just died at the age of 15. That should keep my mind off things.

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

Superbad · 07-02-2010, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfgang

Well, My dog just died at the age of 15. That should keep my mind off things.

Wolfgang,
I am so sorry! My heart goes out to you. Are you from SRQ? I grew up on bird key.

Pass · 07-02-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfgang

Well, My dog just died at the age of 15. That should keep my mind off things.

Dude, that sucks! Losing your best friend is NEVER easy! I remember when we had to put down my St. Bernard when I was a kid. We had him for not even half the time you've had yours (hell, you basically grew up with him) and I was devastated. Took me another 4yrs or so before I could bring myself to get another dog.

On the upside... He was 15. So he lived a very long, happy, and fulfilled life. Most dogs - unless very well loved and cared for - never make it that far. Take solace in knowing that you gave a friend your very best and made their life long and fulfilled.

If you were in VA, man, the scotch (gotta bottle of The Glenlivet that is now 19yrs old) and the stogies would be on me.

OLS · 07-02-2010, 05:32 PM

NO matter what happened, it is always for the best. A good woman sees a good man and stays. A woman
who will just end up screwing you over for cash anyway? It's better to let them go. let her go ruin some other
man's life. They look like flowers and music on the outside, but they are the most cunning, cruel things
on the planet. Every one who ever dumped me probably did the right thing, I have never stayed put anywhere
for very long, and I have never earned a big pile of cash as a result. Plus I work in a tough field for getting
rich to begin with. But when they left, I am sure they thought twice about the lovin'. There has never been
a better lover on the planet than me.

sikk50 · 07-02-2010, 06:35 PM

My gf of 2yrs broke up with me a month ago. There's two wys to get through it (I've had plenty of break ups lol).

Jerk move but fastest healing: Think of a break up as putting down your old dog. Now it's time to go find a puppy to help you forget. I recommend a higher class pet store (fine establishment with cocktails) not a pound with rescue puppies (club).

Less than jerk move: Keep talking to her which will cause you to hurt longer.

Good guy move: Smoke some cigars, get back in touch with friends you've drifted apart from in the last few years, smokes some cigars and drink some scotch.

07-02-2010, 12:27 AM	#21
pnoon YNWA Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Peter Location: San Diego Posts: 29,919 Trading: (20)	Re: Crushed. One door may have closed. But, in time, you will find that many others will open. Take it from an old fart who knows. (oops. sorry.) __________________ Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. -John Wooden

07-02-2010, 01:46 AM	#22
s0leful0ne Its Huge. Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 477 Trading: (22)	Re: Crushed. 500 days of summer. Revoke my man card if you like, but its the perfect movie for this. __________________ What's that smell?...Swamp Ash

07-02-2010, 02:19 AM	#23
Ratters Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,848 Trading: (2)	Re: Crushed. Sorry to hear it Mark. When I was your age and that stuff happened to me I'd revel in it for awhile. Listen to some Frank Sinatra, cause when you've loved and lost the way Frank has you know what life's about. But hang out with your buddies and have fun. These break ups hurt, they're supposed to, lets you know you're human. It will turn around soon enough and then you'll be going "man I miss my single days". So buck up little camper, tomorrow will be a brighter day.

07-02-2010, 04:42 AM	#24
GreekGodX Opa!! Join Date: Mar 2009 First Name: Christos Location: 7 Line Posts: 4,893 Trading: (82)	Re: Crushed. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward Just think all the time you'll have for cigars and drinks now __________________ "If I give a businessman 10,000 francs, what is that to him, he is rich. But if I give him a Cohiba cigar, that is style."-Hotel Rwanda

07-02-2010, 06:45 AM	#25
Pass Puff, Puff... Join Date: Jun 2010 First Name: Max Location: Fredericksburg, VA Posts: 459 Trading: (8)	Re: Crushed. Like Chingas said. Had an earlier relationship not ended... you wouldn't have had this one. Now that this one has ended you have the next to look forward to. With many hard lessons learned, which will make the next relationship that much better! Trust me... been there done that! But future reflections take time to help heal the wound. You're hurting now... My suggestion? Do something incredibly selfish for you! Go buy a motorcycle or something nice like a hug new humidor!!! Then go about finding and collecting cigars. Sometimes a little selfishness and irresponsibility can go a LONG way towards cheering you up! __________________ Live Free. Ride Hard. Smoke Up! Regnat Populus.

07-02-2010, 07:27 AM	#26
lightning9191 I think I'm normal... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Posts: 1,007 Trading: (8)	Re: Crushed. It's better to figure out that it wouldn't work out now, then after you marry her. What to do now? Whatever you want to.....because someday you'll probably have a lot less freedom. Just don't lock yourself in. Sit on your porch, drink a beer, have a cigar, and read a good book. Go fishing. Go out with your friends. Go to the shooting range. It's summertime...lots of festivals. Go camping. Do some project you've been meaning to get to (woodworking, write a book, whatever). Just remember that you have lots of friends and family online and off that are here for ya if you need them. __________________ I eat gummy bears by tearing them limb from limb and eating their heads last.

07-02-2010, 07:51 AM	#27
blugill Feeling at Home Join Date: Dec 2008 First Name: Andy Location: Enid, Oklahoma Posts: 867 Trading: (10)	Re: Crushed. AS been stated before don't dwell. You are 22, I didn't realize how dumb I was at 22 until I was 32, then I didn't realize how dumb I was at 32 until I hit 40. Mourn the loss, recover from it, before you know it someone will be along and be better than before. I married for the first time at 39 now I have two beautiful teenage daughters, and a very loving wife, none of which I would have had if I hadn't had bad breakups before. It's part of it brother, a life experience and you have to go through the bad to find the truly good. __________________ My Blog

07-02-2010, 08:06 AM	#28
kenstogie following the whiterabbit Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Albany, NY Posts: 1,325 Trading: (3)	Re: Crushed. I recently broke up with a steady of a couple years and in my ripe old age of 39 ended it before it got to the yelling stage, I would like to think were still friends and we still talk every once in a while. Don't be sad that it ended but happy that it happened. I am sure there was some good that came of it after all you were with her for a while so there must've been some love there. 22 is kind of young (at least is was for me) and there still some stuff to be learned. In fact at 39 there's still stuff to be learned. A one night fling always helps too. __________________ I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

07-02-2010, 08:21 AM	#30
Scottw Going Commando Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Sussex, NJ Posts: 2,810 Trading: (6)	Re: Crushed. I got invited to my ex girlfriends wedding after bumping into her at college a year earlier. Not exactly the most fun watching your ex all over someone else saying I do, etc. Later that night, I met a beautiful girl who had just had a breakup of her own. We danced, had a drink and two weeks later met for dinner. I have been with her for the past 11 years since and share a home and a beautiful family with her. Keep your head up and know that you have the whole world open to you. Make something great happen! __________________ "Ray when someone asks you if your a GOD you say yes."

07-02-2010, 08:37 AM	#31
Superbad Have My Own Room Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Bobby Location: Panama City, FL Posts: 1,784 Trading: (53)	Re: Crushed. I guess you could call me an old fart as I shall turn 40 this year, but I am in denial as I still think I am young. My advice is that you should recognize that she just gave you the best gift ever. Will you be going to USF? If so that is 40,000 students and as a recent alumnus I can assure you there is no shortage of attractive and smart women there. Tampa is a great city and the cigar culture is still alive there. At age 22 you are still young, and have lots of great things ahead of you. Try not to dwell on the past, move ahead towards new experiences and new friends. Next time I will be in tampa maybe we can get together and have a cigar. Oh yeah.... GO BULLS!!!

07-02-2010, 08:45 AM	#32
Blueface Gramps 4x's Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana Posts: 8,774 Trading: (8)	Re: Crushed. Sorry to hear. Been there. You have to follow one simple philosophy: One door closes but another opens. Things happen for a reason. __________________ Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian

07-02-2010, 09:15 AM	#33
Wolfgang Back from the dead Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Tampa, Fl Posts: 2,541 Trading: (14)	Re: Crushed. Byt I feel like my fingers were still in the door when it slammed shut. I'm doing my best to "move on" but she was there for me through a lot of the medical adventures I Went through. She was a major support system for me and it seems as though my legs were kicked out from under me. __________________ You probably wont remember that test you failed, but you'll never forget the girl you were with the night before, when you decided not to study.

07-02-2010, 02:22 PM	#34
Wolfgang Back from the dead Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Tampa, Fl Posts: 2,541 Trading: (14)	Re: Crushed. Well, My dog just died at the age of 15. That should keep my mind off things. __________________ You probably wont remember that test you failed, but you'll never forget the girl you were with the night before, when you decided not to study.

07-02-2010, 05:32 PM	#39
OLS Suck It Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Brad Location: TN Posts: 7,912 Trading: (19)	Re: Crushed. NO matter what happened, it is always for the best. A good woman sees a good man and stays. A woman who will just end up screwing you over for cash anyway? It's better to let them go. let her go ruin some other man's life. They look like flowers and music on the outside, but they are the most cunning, cruel things on the planet. Every one who ever dumped me probably did the right thing, I have never stayed put anywhere for very long, and I have never earned a big pile of cash as a result. Plus I work in a tough field for getting rich to begin with. But when they left, I am sure they thought twice about the lovin'. There has never been a better lover on the planet than me.

07-02-2010, 06:35 PM	#40
sikk50 Just Bored Really... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andrew Location: The Jefferson State Posts: 2,084 Trading: (13)	Re: Crushed. My gf of 2yrs broke up with me a month ago. There's two wys to get through it (I've had plenty of break ups lol). Jerk move but fastest healing: Think of a break up as putting down your old dog. Now it's time to go find a puppy to help you forget. I recommend a higher class pet store (fine establishment with cocktails) not a pound with rescue puppies (club). Less than jerk move: Keep talking to her which will cause you to hurt longer. Good guy move: Smoke some cigars, get back in touch with friends you've drifted apart from in the last few years, smokes some cigars and drink some scotch. __________________ "Not a Headache in a Hogshead"