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Old 03-01-2012, 08:15 PM   #1
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Default Almost........

First Time Sex


A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.


Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he s he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.


10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious..'
The boy turns, and whispers back,

'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
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Old 03-01-2012, 08:18 PM   #2
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Old 03-01-2012, 08:18 PM   #3
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LMAO that is funny
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Old 03-01-2012, 08:44 PM   #4
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Old 03-01-2012, 08:46 PM   #5
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Old 03-06-2012, 01:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: Almost........

Always a good 'un!
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Old 03-06-2012, 04:07 PM   #7
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hahahahahahahaha!!
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Old 03-06-2012, 04:47 PM   #8
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Hahahah
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Old 03-07-2012, 11:08 AM   #9
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Old 03-07-2012, 11:18 AM   #10
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Default Re: Almost........

Good one
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Old 03-07-2012, 12:48 PM   #11
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Old 03-07-2012, 01:04 PM   #12
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Default Re: Almost........

Too funny!!
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Old 06-19-2014, 12:06 PM   #13
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Default Re: Almost........

Another one that deserves a bump back up the top.

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Old 06-19-2014, 01:00 PM   #14
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Default Re: Almost........

Still funny every time I hear it.
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Old 06-19-2014, 01:31 PM   #15
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Default Re: Almost........

LOL
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Old 06-20-2014, 06:47 AM   #16
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