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#41 |
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#42 |
The Homebrew Hammer
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(313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
(517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first ![]() (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. ![]()
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#43 |
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Hahahaha, great minds think alike, eh Gerard?
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#45 |
Feeling at Home
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(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF??? (512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that LMAO! (817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs. (1-817): OMG. What did u say? (817): I told her I did too.
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MIAMI CANES 9-4 NJ DEVILS 37-21-3 Last edited by smokeyandthebandit05; 04-30-2009 at 10:48 AM. |
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#46 |
Feeling at Home
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(323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
---------------- Now playing: Brad Paisley & Keith Urban - Start A Band via FoxyTunes
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MIAMI CANES 9-4 NJ DEVILS 37-21-3 |
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#47 |
Just plain insane!
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LOL... this site is classic:
(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices |
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#48 |
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#49 |
Will herf for food
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That one is hilarious..
More: (859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night. (1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me.
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“Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar;” Mark Twain |
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#50 |
Just plain insane!
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603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know |
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#51 |
Just plain insane!
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(847): Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
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#52 |
Just plain insane!
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Not a good day...
(856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do? |
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#53 |
Feeling at Home
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(704): Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
(517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher. (609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day ---------------- Now playing: Jake Owen - Something About A Woman via FoxyTunes
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MIAMI CANES 9-4 NJ DEVILS 37-21-3 |
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#54 |
Just plain insane!
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(818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I gotta stop looking!!! |
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#55 |
Feeling at Home
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(801): hey, what are you doing tonight?
(646): sleeping, g'night! (801): but i wanted to see you ![]() (646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you! (646): stop - you have a right hand - use it! I cant believe I just read every text...lol fml
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MIAMI CANES 9-4 NJ DEVILS 37-21-3 |
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#56 |
Will herf for food
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This one is pretty bad...
(817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
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“Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar;” Mark Twain |
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#57 |
Just plain insane!
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One last one...
(919): I need help removing her. |
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#58 | |
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#59 |
Feeling at Home
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(954): the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
They keep gettin better!
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MIAMI CANES 9-4 NJ DEVILS 37-21-3 |
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#60 |
Relocation Engineer
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(618): do you remember what downloading p**n with a 14k modem was like?
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Mark, I'LL TAKE MY GUNS, RELIGION & MONEY... YOU CAN KEEP THE CHANGE! |
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