Serious question

[mikeyj23]

Originally Posted by Raralith

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

Agreed - my fiance's finger is a size 3.5 so anything more than what she has (1/2 ct center stone, 1 ct total weight ) would look silly.
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[RGD.]

Originally Posted by md4958

I respectfully disagree with Ron.

my wifes diamond makes most of her friends stones seem almost yellow, and it sparkles like no-other. I couldnt be happier that i decided to go with quality over size. For the price I paid I could have gotten her a 5 carat piece of crap, but I went with an as-close-to-flawless ( i could afford) 1.5 carat that looks enormous on her thin fingers.

Don't get me wrong on this - I'm not saying to get the bottom of the barrel. What I was trying to say and should have added more, is that you could get say a VS1 or 2 in a D or E and maybe even a really good G instead of a VVS1 or 2 - and that nobody could tell without a magnifying glass. Hence the more bang for the buck.


Ron

[Raralith]

Originally Posted by RGD.

Don't get me wrong on this - I'm not saying to get the bottom of the barrel. What I was trying to say and should have added more, is that you could get say a VS1 or 2 in a D or E and maybe even a really good G instead of a VVS1 or 2 - and that nobody could tell without a magnifying glass. Hence the more bang for the buck.

I honestly don't think diamonds should be based on "best bang for the buck" ideal. Diamonds aren't big screen TV's where new technology will replace or may need another in 10 to 20 years. Diamonds shouldn't be thought up as a dollar amount, but simply as a decoration on the ring, a ring that symbolizes being together and forever (property of "X" for me!). Because of this, it should be high quality, but it should be affordable. A smaller size isn't a travesty, but a slightly, even remotely, off color stone is, in my opinion.

Movado has some excellent rings too if you can afford them. I bought my wife's ring there, and honestly, it's pretty amazing. Their quality is top notch, and while there's quite a bit of sticker shock, it was considered affordable for me so I purchased it.

[LasciviousXXX]

Get a tattoo ring... cheaper and lasts longer

LOL, just kidding. Color and clarity over size IMO. Also try and find out what style she likes. There are so many styles of rings nowadays from classic to contemporary that the choices are sometimes overwhelming.

If in doubt, take her best friend ring shopping with you

[md4958]

Originally Posted by Raralith

As many have already said, buy what you can afford. And yes, you can tell a crappy diamond from a good one quite easily. A good quality will almost always be better than a big stone. Personally though, I know a lot of men fear going with their perspective wife ring shopping, but it really is the best way, in my opinion. Here are a few reasons:
1. You're perspective wife knows how much you make, and unless she's more about the rock than you, she'll be more realistic.
2. You never know what women think are beautiful. Never. Don't ever suspect, don't ever guess, and if you do, include a receipt (outside the realm of rings).
3. A ring always looks different on your woman compared to the jeweler trying to show you, on yourself, on a piece of plastic, or staring at it and imaging it on her hand. A ring for one woman doesn't neccessarily look good for another, and a ring like this is something your woman will look at forever. So get something she likes.

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

This is all EXCELLENT advice.

[Commander Quan]

I would only shop at an independent jewelry store, where the employees do not work for commission, and stay out of the shops at the malls. The people that work for commission are like sharks, and if you tell them you are searching for a ring it's like blood in the water.

Don't just settle on a ring in the display case. Pick a loose diamond and then a setting she will like.

Diamonds are priced by size. If you looking for a 1 ct. stone go with .92-.95 cts. you will be able to get a better quality stone or else save major $ and no one will be able to tell that it's not a full ct.

Originally Posted by Blueface

I would never view it as a % of what I earn.
Last time I bought an engagement ring was well over 28 yrs ago.
Would do it the very same way again.
Would buy what I can afford, what looks nice, what I think she will like and appreciate.
Screw what anyone says I should or should not spend.

Though I have never bought an engagement ring there is NO WAY I would try and use a math formula based on % of income. IMHO if the girl I would ask to be my wife would think in terms of percentage of my income, a huge flashing red light would go off in my head.

Please don't take this the wrong way but, for me, to even think along those terms seems very cold and unromantic.

There was a girl once that I wanted for my wife, unfortunately it never worked out, and I was thinking about buying an engagement ring and I thought it would be really cool to buy an antique one that was as "one of a kind" as I could afford.

Anyway, I hope that this post maybe gave you some ideas about alternatives i.e. the antique diamond route.

Best of luck to you and please let us know what she says when you ask her the big question.

Cheers,
Rob

[GKitty]

As a chick, I feel obligated to put in my .

However, my brothers, you've covered all the bases marvelously which leaves me very little to add other than my personal opinion and a brief anecdote.

There's a reason women refer to them as "sparklies". When talking about rings, we talk about settings, styles, and metals, because it's assumed: whatever size/shape the stone is it will be high quality. I've never said to myself, I'll compromise on quality for a bigger stone. I've only heard two women express disappoinment about their engagement rings. One was disappointed in the size of the center stone. The other felt her ring was missing what she called the "kachow!" factor. The first managed to get 4 size "upgrades" on her engagment ring (trading in the "old" one for a bigger one, and yes I mean 4 seperate transactions) and was divorced before they celebrated their 1st anniversary. The second had a very uncomfortable conversation about the situation with her fiance after which they went shopping for a different ring. Now, it's a smaller stone but much more brilliant... and the "kachow!" factor is definitely there.

With all this wonderful advice on what to look for, I'm certain you'll do fine.

[PeteSB75]

Thanks all for the advice/kind words.

The percentage question was my own. I also would not be considering marrying a woman who was looking for a certain size/cost ring.

As far as the quality over quantity, I was feeling that way in any case, but the reinforcement is good. I was looking in a D, E or F color and VS1 or higher clarity. I have a set price range, so whatever size I can get in that range will be the size.

[chippewastud79]

Spend what you can afford, don't over extend yourself on a diamond. If she is that in love with you the diamond won't matter.

I agree, color and clarity over carat. Another thing to keep in mind (based on the chart talked about below) a .99 carat is significantly cheaper than a 1.0 carat, each step up in size can be $1000 more per carat.

In my opinion, do not take her with you. Have an idea of the cut (round, princess, heart etc.), band (simple, design) and style (solitare, three stone, baguettes etc.) and pick out what you think she will like, you'll probably be right. It should be something you pick out on your own and again, if she loves you that much the actuall ring won't matter.

If you go to a store, and a guy pulls out a piece of paper and starts punching the numbers off of it into a calculator and then multiplying it and starts to subtract the "discounts". Ask them to see the sheet of paper they are working with, most of the time it is the standard pricing chart, they likely will decline to show it to you.

The international prices for diamonds based on the 4 C's are pre-established every month at basically what is knows as MSRP. Each jeweler will get a copy of this sheet and is supposed to adjust their prices accordingly. It is basically a giant spreadsheet that shows a grid of the price per carat for different colors, cuts and clarity.

What they typically do however is take that sheet and the diamond you are looking at and then double the price (or more), then show you the calculator and give you the special customer discount and give you 40% off or whatever and that is still above what you should be paying.

Basically it is a huge pharse. Like my jeweler told me, "Never pay retail for diamonds, because they are always jacking the **** out of their prices."

[mosesbotbol]

Originally Posted by chippewastud79

The international prices for diamonds based on the 4 C's are pre-established every month at basically what is knows as MSRP. Each jeweler will get a copy of this sheet and is supposed to adjust their prices accordingly. It is basically a giant spreadsheet that shows a grid of the price per carat for different colors, cuts and clarity.

Are these sheets published on the web anywhere? Even a recent previous month would be a great guide.

[chippewastud79]

Originally Posted by mosesbotbol

Are these sheets published on the web anywhere? Even a recent previous month would be a great guide.

I am not sure, I believe they are only for diamond retailers. Let me see if I can get ahold of my jeweler real quick and see what they name of the sheet is and possibly search it.

Edit: The name of the report is called the Rapaport Diamond Report and is a subscription report that must be purchased by diamond retailers. You can find a few sites on the internet, but they all seemed to have the actual pricing sheet password protected.

Ask a jeweler to show it to you, it isn't too hard to interpret but you might need your own calculator to punch in the numbers because the prices are a price per karat.

[Commander Quan]

Originally Posted by mosesbotbol

Are these sheets published on the web anywhere? Even a recent previous month would be a great guide.

http://www.srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/...date/round.pdf

This is for one cut but you can use it as a guide

edit: after looking at this thing I have no idea how to read it

[mosesbotbol]

Originally Posted by Commander Quan

http://www.srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/...date/round.pdf

This is for one cut but you can use it as a guide

edit: after looking at this thing I have no idea how to read it

What does D-M stand for? I do not understand the pricing part? I am looking at the (.90-.99) for instance.

[Commander Quan]

ok I think I got it. The letters on the side are the color. The code across the top is the clarity where they meet is the price in 100s of dollars.

[chippewastud79]

Originally Posted by mosesbotbol

What does D-M stand for? I do not understand the pricing part? I am looking at the (.90-.99) for instance.

Originally Posted by Commander Quan

ok I think I got it. The letters on the side are the color. The code across the top is the clarity where they meet is the price in 100s of dollars.

Yes the letters down the side are the color, the letters/numbers across the top are the clarity and the numbers are $100's so for instance an F, VS1 at .92 carats would be $5980 ($6500 x .92 carats).

Note the difference in prices between .90-.99 and 1.0-1.49 for the same color and clarity of diamonds, thats why I said the differences between a .99 and a 1.0 are so drastic.

[Commander Quan]

found one more

http://srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/report_update/pear.pdf

the prices are a bit different between the 2 shapes

[ade06]

Originally Posted by mikeyj23

my opinion is get exactly what she wants - nothing else you buy (including a house) will be around as long as that ring.
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[tsolomon]

I married the jeweler's daughter and my wife and her father picked out her diamond, but I did get to pay for it. Since my father in-law and brother in-law were jewelers, here’s what I have picked up over the years. Cut, color and clarity is what we always hear is important when picking out a diamond. My wife says that the cut is what makes a diamond sparkle by catching the light. If it doesn’t sparkle and reflect the light, keep looking. Diamonds should be colorless or clear, but you will need to compare them side by side to see the difference. Clarity is based on the natural inclusions or defects in the stone that can be seen with a 10X loupe. If you can't see the defects without a loupe, then cut and color should come first.

If you go with a yellow gold band, consider a white gold mounting so that it doesn't impact the color. An oval cut will look bigger than a round cut of the same carat weight. Picking out a diamond from loose diamonds will allow you to evaluate the actual diamonds; preset stones are much harder to judge. Normal markup on most jewelry is 3 to 4 times the cost.

The bottom line is to figure out what you want to spend and start looking. Make sure that you view the diamond under different lighting conditions so you can see how it sparkles because this is what everyone will notice when it’s on her finger.

[JE3146]

First thing to consider.

Is she going to be staring at this thing and ridiculing any imperfections? If no, then focus on Cut and Color.

Get a near colorless diamond. Like D, E or F on the color chart.

Get a great cut. This is gonna vary.

Make sure to get the style she wants. I knew my fiance wanted Princess cut, so my choices were easy.



So then it boils down to Clarity and Size.

If she's a nitpicky person, focus on clarity.

If she's not gonna stare at it under a 10x loupe then you can tone down clarity to either a VS2 or an SI1 or SI2. Another cool one is finding an I1 with diamond crystals in it. Some I1's have spots on them, dark spots or pits, but every now and then you'll come across one with the crystals in it which can even add to sparkle. The one I got my fiance was an I1 with diamond crystals and the inclusion was only visible by the naked eye in pure sunlight looking at it from underneath. (as in, once it was set, it vanishes).

Another very important thing to focus on is the size of her fingers! A half carat diamond on tiny hands will look MASSIVE. My fiance has tiny hands. I looked like the stud of the century getting her a half carat. It looked far bigger than it actually was.


One thing a lot of people lose focus on is the band you put it in. I chose an English style solitaire setup that was very simple. It was incredibly gorgeous and still over a year from the engagement, my fiance gets at least 3 to 4 compliments on it a week at the hospital she works at.

There's a TON of variables. Don't be afraid to shop around. But DO come educated to wherever you go and do come with at least a budget to stick to, and an idea of what type of band you want to go with.