Serious question

[mosesbotbol]

Buy what you feel comfortable spending. Do not base it on any formula of income or salary- please do not do that!

As for an actual amount, hard to say. I would tell a prince one amount and pauper another...

Do yourself a favor, spend as little as it takes to get the job done. In the scheme of life, a ring is just a material token, your love for your girl is much beyond that. Bigger ring does not mean you love her more.

Any notion that you must sacrifice your salary or financial position (especially in these financially troubling times) to validate your commitment is spawned by the jewelry industry, no one else.

[Blueface]

Oh, and one thing I forgot........
.......always a good thing to know how the state you live in interprets this "gift" should something not work out.
Hope all the best for you but best to be prepared.

[PeteSB75]

Trust me, I won't be getting in over my head on this at all. I will be paying cash for whatever I get.

I have started doing some research on the subject, so I am at least somewhat familiar with the four c's. Cut is out of my hands. We talked about it a little and she let me know roughly what she wanted as far as cut and setting.

She said she'd be happy with a ring out of a gumball machine, so I'll probably get that too... But I want to get her something that I know she will love.

I wanted to go peruse at shops so I could see for myself, in person, what the difference in color and clarity really means in a set stone. How different the stones are to the naked eye.

And yes, this will be an engagement ring, but don't congradulate me until she's actually wearing the thing That will probably be a few months. I'm just planning ahead.

[Raralith]

As many have already said, buy what you can afford. And yes, you can tell a crappy diamond from a good one quite easily. A good quality will almost always be better than a big stone. Personally though, I know a lot of men fear going with their perspective wife ring shopping, but it really is the best way, in my opinion. Here are a few reasons:
1. You're perspective wife knows how much you make, and unless she's more about the rock than you, she'll be more realistic.
2. You never know what women think are beautiful. Never. Don't ever suspect, don't ever guess, and if you do, include a receipt (outside the realm of rings).
3. A ring always looks different on your woman compared to the jeweler trying to show you, on yourself, on a piece of plastic, or staring at it and imaging it on her hand. A ring for one woman doesn't neccessarily look good for another, and a ring like this is something your woman will look at forever. So get something she likes.

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

[mikeyj23]

Originally Posted by Raralith

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

Agreed - my fiance's finger is a size 3.5 so anything more than what she has (1/2 ct center stone, 1 ct total weight ) would look silly.
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[md4958]

Originally Posted by Raralith

As many have already said, buy what you can afford. And yes, you can tell a crappy diamond from a good one quite easily. A good quality will almost always be better than a big stone. Personally though, I know a lot of men fear going with their perspective wife ring shopping, but it really is the best way, in my opinion. Here are a few reasons:
1. You're perspective wife knows how much you make, and unless she's more about the rock than you, she'll be more realistic.
2. You never know what women think are beautiful. Never. Don't ever suspect, don't ever guess, and if you do, include a receipt (outside the realm of rings).
3. A ring always looks different on your woman compared to the jeweler trying to show you, on yourself, on a piece of plastic, or staring at it and imaging it on her hand. A ring for one woman doesn't neccessarily look good for another, and a ring like this is something your woman will look at forever. So get something she likes.

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

This is all EXCELLENT advice.

[GKitty]

As a chick, I feel obligated to put in my .

However, my brothers, you've covered all the bases marvelously which leaves me very little to add other than my personal opinion and a brief anecdote.

There's a reason women refer to them as "sparklies". When talking about rings, we talk about settings, styles, and metals, because it's assumed: whatever size/shape the stone is it will be high quality. I've never said to myself, I'll compromise on quality for a bigger stone. I've only heard two women express disappoinment about their engagement rings. One was disappointed in the size of the center stone. The other felt her ring was missing what she called the "kachow!" factor. The first managed to get 4 size "upgrades" on her engagment ring (trading in the "old" one for a bigger one, and yes I mean 4 seperate transactions) and was divorced before they celebrated their 1st anniversary. The second had a very uncomfortable conversation about the situation with her fiance after which they went shopping for a different ring. Now, it's a smaller stone but much more brilliant... and the "kachow!" factor is definitely there.

With all this wonderful advice on what to look for, I'm certain you'll do fine.

[PeteSB75]

Thanks all for the advice/kind words.

The percentage question was my own. I also would not be considering marrying a woman who was looking for a certain size/cost ring.

As far as the quality over quantity, I was feeling that way in any case, but the reinforcement is good. I was looking in a D, E or F color and VS1 or higher clarity. I have a set price range, so whatever size I can get in that range will be the size.

[chippewastud79]

Spend what you can afford, don't over extend yourself on a diamond. If she is that in love with you the diamond won't matter.

I agree, color and clarity over carat. Another thing to keep in mind (based on the chart talked about below) a .99 carat is significantly cheaper than a 1.0 carat, each step up in size can be $1000 more per carat.

In my opinion, do not take her with you. Have an idea of the cut (round, princess, heart etc.), band (simple, design) and style (solitare, three stone, baguettes etc.) and pick out what you think she will like, you'll probably be right. It should be something you pick out on your own and again, if she loves you that much the actuall ring won't matter.

If you go to a store, and a guy pulls out a piece of paper and starts punching the numbers off of it into a calculator and then multiplying it and starts to subtract the "discounts". Ask them to see the sheet of paper they are working with, most of the time it is the standard pricing chart, they likely will decline to show it to you.

The international prices for diamonds based on the 4 C's are pre-established every month at basically what is knows as MSRP. Each jeweler will get a copy of this sheet and is supposed to adjust their prices accordingly. It is basically a giant spreadsheet that shows a grid of the price per carat for different colors, cuts and clarity.

What they typically do however is take that sheet and the diamond you are looking at and then double the price (or more), then show you the calculator and give you the special customer discount and give you 40% off or whatever and that is still above what you should be paying.

Basically it is a huge pharse. Like my jeweler told me, "Never pay retail for diamonds, because they are always jacking the **** out of their prices."

[Commander Quan]

I would only shop at an independent jewelry store, where the employees do not work for commission, and stay out of the shops at the malls. The people that work for commission are like sharks, and if you tell them you are searching for a ring it's like blood in the water.

Don't just settle on a ring in the display case. Pick a loose diamond and then a setting she will like.

Diamonds are priced by size. If you looking for a 1 ct. stone go with .92-.95 cts. you will be able to get a better quality stone or else save major $ and no one will be able to tell that it's not a full ct.

[JE3146]

First thing to consider.

Is she going to be staring at this thing and ridiculing any imperfections? If no, then focus on Cut and Color.

Get a near colorless diamond. Like D, E or F on the color chart.

Get a great cut. This is gonna vary.

Make sure to get the style she wants. I knew my fiance wanted Princess cut, so my choices were easy.



So then it boils down to Clarity and Size.

If she's a nitpicky person, focus on clarity.

If she's not gonna stare at it under a 10x loupe then you can tone down clarity to either a VS2 or an SI1 or SI2. Another cool one is finding an I1 with diamond crystals in it. Some I1's have spots on them, dark spots or pits, but every now and then you'll come across one with the crystals in it which can even add to sparkle. The one I got my fiance was an I1 with diamond crystals and the inclusion was only visible by the naked eye in pure sunlight looking at it from underneath. (as in, once it was set, it vanishes).

Another very important thing to focus on is the size of her fingers! A half carat diamond on tiny hands will look MASSIVE. My fiance has tiny hands. I looked like the stud of the century getting her a half carat. It looked far bigger than it actually was.


One thing a lot of people lose focus on is the band you put it in. I chose an English style solitaire setup that was very simple. It was incredibly gorgeous and still over a year from the engagement, my fiance gets at least 3 to 4 compliments on it a week at the hospital she works at.

There's a TON of variables. Don't be afraid to shop around. But DO come educated to wherever you go and do come with at least a budget to stick to, and an idea of what type of band you want to go with.

[chippewastud79]

Oh, and by the way. For mounting metals, I suggest paladium for something that is white. White gold turns yellow over in time and platinum scratches very easily. A lot of jewelers won't know what paladium is, but it is a precious metal like the other two but looks whiter and brighter than platinum and cost about 1/2 the price.

[Raralith]

Honestly, all the above ideas are great, but if you want to save yourself a lot of trouble, try a botique. Movado, Tiffany's, Cartier, etc... pretty much only carry high quality diamonds. Yeah, it's expensive, but you know it's high quality. If someone says ask your wife, "What a nice ring," all they need to reply is, "It's a Movado/Tiffany/Cartier," and most women would drool.

[chippewastud79]

Originally Posted by Raralith

Honestly, all the above ideas are great, but if you want to save yourself a lot of trouble, try a botique. Movado, Tiffany's, Cartier, etc... pretty much only carry high quality diamonds. Yeah, it's expensive, but you know it's high quality. If someone says ask your wife, "What a nice ring," all they need to reply is, "It's a Movado/Tiffany/Cartier," and most women would drool.

Skip the boutique, you are paying for the box and the bow. It is worthless to pay for a name when you can get a better quality diamond at 1/3rd of the price. And, no, the diamonds you are paying for aren't neccessarily higher quality they are just way more expensive. In reality you could say the ring was made by the same jeweler who made some famous wife's ring and no one would ever know. Other girls will be impressed if the ring sparkles and looks nice, not by a name.

[Raralith]

Originally Posted by chippewastud79

Skip the boutique, you are paying for the box and the bow. It is worthless to pay for a name when you can get a better quality diamond at 1/3rd of the price. And, no, the diamonds you are paying for aren't neccessarily higher quality they are just way more expensive. In reality you could say the ring was made by the same jeweler who made some famous wife's ring and no one would ever know. Other girls will be impressed if the ring sparkles and looks nice, not by a name.

Ever walk in a Tiffany's or Cartier? They don't carry anything cheap, price or diamond wise, and yes, you pay a premium for the name. Yes, you could say that, "Oh, my wifes ring was made by Cartier," and no one would know. Except your wife. And your wife will kill you for that. I've also never seen a real Cartier that is not sparkly, ever.

Maybe the women in the thread understand, but if two chicks are talking, and one says "Tiffany," the other ones eyes open wide (normally).

[Cigarcop]

I didn't read the thru the last pages, but heres my take on it.

"Buy the ring you'd be happy with getting as if it was being bought for you".

[chippewastud79]

Originally Posted by Raralith

Ever walk in a Tiffany's or Cartier? They don't carry anything cheap, price or diamond wise, and yes, you pay a premium for the name. Yes, you could say that, "Oh, my wifes ring was made by Cartier," and no one would know. Except your wife. And your wife will kill you for that. I've also never seen a real Cartier that is not sparkly, ever.

Maybe the women in the thread understand, but if two chicks are talking, and one says "Tiffany," the other ones eyes open wide (normally).

Yes, I have been in Tiffany and Cartier and the rings in there cost 5 times as much as they should. If your wife/fiance/girlfriend is that caught up on a name and impressing her friends by name dropping and not a nicer ring then get a second mortgage and buy a ring that costs $50K when you could buy it for $10K on your own. You are paying for the name the box and the bow, nothing else, the rings are no higher quality than what you could buy from a respectable jeweler. But I guess in this material world we live in the name on the box is more important than the fact that it is something you picked out yourself and put the time and effort into buying or the love you are giving it to her with.

[ade06]

Last thing, if you plan on completely surprising her without any imput from her regarding the setting, get the cheapest simple setting you can find. After she says YES, the two of you can look for a new setting together, and that way she can get exactly what she wants and you can still surprise her without having to guess which type of fancy setting she might like. Good luck!!!

[Raralith]

One of my friends found information here:
http://www.pricescope.com/

He said it definately helped him in the price/diamond realm.