Reasons why pipes are better than cigars...

[Dog_Soldier]

1. I don't have to dedicate so much of my time to a pipe each time I smoke one
2. its alot harder to smoke a pipe the wrong way round lol
3. When you smoke a pipe your IQ raises by 10 points
4. I can smoke a pipe hands-free without smoke getting in my eyes
5.I can be pretentious
6. I don't have to spend a paycheck to get 25 smokes
7. my wife doesn't avoid me when I smoke a pipe
8. What I left forgot about and left unsmoked the day before is FANTASTIC today.
9. When I finish a cigar I'm left with a stub and a band. When I finish a pipe I still have a beautiful piece of briar or meer.
10. I can smoke in the rain by simply turning the pipe upside down. (must be a straight rather than bent)
11. I can wear my tweed jacket with the patches and not get laughed at.
12. I can now attend an Ivy League University
13. I can smoke lots of different "blends" in my pipe.
14. Cougars think I have money.
15. humidors for pipe tobacco are free (any place you set the tin)
16. you can sell a smoked pipe and get back your initial investment
17. You'll never hear someone say, "Look at this beautiful 40+ year old cigar I found languishing in an antique shop. A little TLC and it'll be good as new!".
18. It lets you lurk in the "slow" section of all the cigar boards.
19. Any leftover I throw in the garden doesn't lool like a dog turd next day
20. Smoking a pipe instantly qualifies you for your AARP card.
21. I can hold my pipe by the bowl and point and gesture with the stem end.