Sadly, I resemble some of these
17. You can't even pay attention.
16. You stop getting offers from those credit card companies trying to get you
to transfer your other credit card balances to theirs.
15. The local loan shark sees you coming and turns to start running the other
way.
14. You forget whose picture is on a Lincoln penny.
13. You hock the spare tire from your car.
12. When your phone service is turned off, you actually start to miss those
nasty messages your credit card companies leave on your answering machine.
11. You try to take out a bank loan and learn you'll have to use your first-born
male child for collateral.
10. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"
9. You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
8. Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
7. You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
6. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.
5. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
4. Your bologna has no first name.
3. Sally Struthers sends you food.
2. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
1. At communion you go back for seconds.