I think this is the new "poetry" thread. Not sure this qualifies as poetry as it was just some silliness I thunk up one day as my boys and I were pondering one of life more comical moments. (you can blame Tom for putting it in my mind again) No, I do not use the song as a closing hymn.
The Flat(ulent)ch Man
by, Todd Jerabek
sing it to the tune of the Beatles song:
The Tax Man
As food works in digestive tract,
He cannot help but produce gas.
...cause... CHORUS: ... he’s the flatch man,
Oh, oh, he’s the flatch man..
Give him baked beans he’ll eat them all,
And later still he’ll clear the hall.
...cause... CHORUS
German sausage mit sauerkraut,
Will surely make his buttocks shout.
...cause... CHORUS
A crowded room he’ll violate,
When gaseous fumes from him escape.
...cause... CHORUS
When forced too hard to flatulate,
A greasy stain will permeate,
… cause… CHORUS
When gas mixes with open flame,
Burning pants seams will water tame,
…cause… CHORUS
When gas he tries to slowly leak,
His nickname now is thunder cheeks,
…cause… CHORUS
Courteousness and common sense,
Would be to leave till gas is spent,
...not for the flatch man,
...oh, oh, he’s the flatch man...