1. I don't have to dedicate so much of my time to a pipe each time I smoke one
2. its alot harder to smoke a pipe the wrong way round lol
3. When you smoke a pipe your IQ raises by 10 points
4. I can smoke a pipe hands-free without smoke getting in my eyes
5.I can be pretentious
6. I don't have to spend a paycheck to get 25 smokes
7. my wife doesn't avoid me when I smoke a pipe
8. What I left forgot about and left unsmoked the day before is FANTASTIC today.
9. When I finish a cigar I'm left with a stub and a band. When I finish a pipe I still have a beautiful piece of briar or meer.
10. I can smoke in the rain by simply turning the pipe upside down. (must be a straight rather than bent)
11. I can wear my tweed jacket with the patches and not get laughed at.
12. I can now attend an Ivy League University
13. I can smoke lots of different "blends" in my pipe.
