[RevSmoke]

Got married right out of college - she was 21 and I was 22. In June, that will have been 30 years ago. Are we soul mates? Personally, I don't buy into the soul mate idea.

We both made a commitment "to love" one another. I define love as an act of the will to put another over and above yourself, to look out for their interests at all times, no matter how they treat you. That is why I could say, "for better, for worse, in sickness, and in health, till death parts us."

Unfortunately, we both fail on that commitment "to love: one another perfectly.

That's where the second part comes in, the gift of forgiveness. I knew she'd fail, she knew I'd fail, but we live in the forgiveness someone gives to each of us individually, and we then are strengthened to give it to one another.

Were we in "love" when we got married? Yes, that was part of it. But, we also knew that we could attack life in the world together as a team. She is my best friend, I cannot imagine life without her. As we look at our youngest moving out this fall for college, we will have to examine our life together again and readjust - it will be just the two of us again. Our world has revolved around our kids for the last 20 years - and in some ways, it will still. BUT, it will be just us 2 together.

The more you search for the right one with whom you can make a life together, the more difficult it becomes. It will happen when it happens.

Although, if you'd like to know if there are certain issues that are a drawback to women entering a relationship with you, ask a woman who is a close friend to explain, ask her to be honest. Do not defend your actions or behaviors if she points out things that are negative, just hear it out and then maybe work on changing things. Of course, it better be a good friend who is willing to be brutally honest.

And I also know a couple friends who are single in their 50s and happy. So that can also happen. Although, they will all admit periods of loneliness and feeling sometimes like a 3rd wheel. When friends get married, and you are not, there are times when it will be "couples only."

Peace of the Lord be with you.