I went to a drugstore and bought two Dutch Masters cigars. It was OK in a pinch.
I went to Dunkin' Donuts and bought a large cup of coffee. It was OK to warm me up and keep me awake.
Being a coffee snob is as bad as being a cigar snob which, in a lowest-common-denominator thread, puts us to the test.
I still have one of the Dutch masters cigars - anyone want it?