[Steve]

I think my dog wrote a couple of these!

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~ Yelling at me for barking...HEY, I'M A DOG!!

~ Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

~ Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.

~ Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.

~ Yelling at me for rubbing my bottom on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

~ Dog sweaters. Helloooo...have you noticed the fur?

~ Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

~ Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

~ The sleight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.